Sorry I haven't been around. This is quite a long story. My mother has been variously ill with many things for the last couple of years. It seems impossible to get to the bottom of what is going on with her, she is in chronic pain with back problems and gastrointestional illness, has a tremor in her right hand, and a host of other seemingly unconnected issues. She has supposedly been under the care of a neurologist for the tremor. When we went to see her a couple of weeks ago I was shocked at her condition and my husband and I actually confronted (gently) my father with how shocking it was to see her like this. We discussed some things that he could do for her, but basically he is in total denial.
When I got home I started doing some research on line about her tremor. I vaguely remember being told that Parkinson's had been ruled out by the first neuro she saw, when they were still in the city. However, the more I googled, the more I realized all of her symptoms are connected to Parkinsons - the sleeplessness, the slowness of movement, falling, etc., etc. It became clear that she does have Parkinson's, but is certainly not being treated for it.
On Saturday my dad called and said my mom had fallen and "broken her hip." At this time I gently asked him about the Parkinsons, and it turns out the new neuro she is seeing feels fairly sure that it is indeed Parkinsons. No one ever said anything to me about that. I am an only child and fairly close to my parents. My dad said he doesn't believe it and thinks her problems are all psychological. My mom never mentioned it to me. My mom who is now in the hospital seems too out of it to talk on the phone.
I was thinking that one silver lining to breaking her hip is that she will be forced to go to rehab. But now, my father said she did not break her hip, only dislocated it. They may release her as soon as this weekend. I do not feel good about her going home. I think she will just take to her bed and my dad is not supportive. I want her to come to the city to see a Parkinson's specialist at Columbia Presbyterian, but am encountering resistance from my father. They are clearly both in denial about this but it is only going to get worse if she doesn't get the proper treatment.
I'm in such a bad spot because I feel so angry with both of them, but I cannot really express my anger as they'll just pull away further from me. I'm extremely disturbed by it all and don't really know what to do from here. On the one hand it is their journey, they are both still fairly copus mentis (or however you spell that) but on the other hand, sometimes someone has to step in. I just don't know if we are that point yet.
To complicate things, I am fairly hypochondriacal myself and am now worried that I have Parkinson's! I've been so strung out this whole weekend about this I'm feeling shakey myself. That's not helping either. It is just so depressing to witness. I have known many people confronted with disease who rose up and took charge of anything they could around it. My parents are just retreating and isolating themselves. They are very private, and there isn't any way I could call one of their friends or doctors without them feeling very intruded upon.
I haven't weighed and haven't really eaten much lately anyway. I doubt I've been off plan but have no idea if any damage is done. I suppose I shouldn't be worrying about that now...thanks for listening