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How to Deal with Skeptics

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Old 01-20-2010, 08:56 AM   #1
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Hi all,

I encountered something interesting this week. I tend (as all of you well know) to post pictures of my food. I did so of the black bean brownies on my FB and encountered a number of skeptics saying "with the splenda in there and unnatural things in that and the cool whip, I'd just rather have a smaller slice of the real thing." Now, half my issue is that the real thing triggers my overeating. I said something like that but others chimed in and I just grew really angry. I didn't know if it was because they might be right or because I was embarrased or because no one defended my decision to have splenda in small portions rather than sugar in large portions because it triggers my overeating.

Anyway, do you encounter skeptics in you real or 3D lives and how do you handle it?
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:59 AM   #2
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you know, you have every right to eat what you wish. if it works for you, ignore those opionated peeps. Also, i love see pictures of new recipes. when they need to make a recipe for a diabetic, i bet they go to your page!
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:21 AM   #3
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I laughed at your "3D lives" comment. That is a funny way to put it!

You have to do what works for you, and there's no reason you should feel like you have to justify that for anyone else. You've lost almost 20 pounds! That is a huge accomplishment and your choices are obviously working for you.

I'm sorry I didn't see your post because I would've had your back!
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:21 AM   #4
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I've seen this kind of thing a lot over the years. My theory is that most people are REALLY threatened when they see someone working to lose weight and become healthier.

I grew up in a family full of alcoholics and I see the same kind of thing there. They make fun of you for not drinking, and pooh-pooh as being a ridiculous idea, the idea that maybe NOT drinking a fifth a day is the right thing to do. They do everything they can to try to MAKE you drink, because your NOT drinking makes them feel guilty about their own, and they feel VEEERRRRRYY uncomfortable. It's a defense mechanism for them.

Same thing in our society when you try to buck the mainstream eating patterns. Right now, we are a nation addicted to huge portions of fast food and no exercise. People envy people who are healthy and who have a healthy BMI, but they also kind of hate those people, you know? They feel more comfortable around people who are eating like they do, and not exercising, like they are. They want to stay nice and safe within their addictions, so to speak.

So someone comes along and says, "this is what has worked for me to lose weight and feel better" and boy the attacks never stop. "Don't get too skinny - men don't like skinny girls you know..." "Oh, that's ridiculous that you only get to eat a small portion or have to forgo dessert...how silly!" "Well, I'm a better person because I don't obsess about my weight - I'm not vain like you are!" Ad nauseum.

I'm old so I've seen this playing out time and time again over the years.

Anyway, I know it's infuriating. I hate it too. But that's the mentality, that's where they are coming from. And they don't even realize it on a conscious level - it's totally subconscious.
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:53 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenne1017 View Post
I'd just rather have a smaller slice of the real thing
In my experience, they do eat the real thing. And they don't stop at a small slice. Easy to preach, hard to put into practice.
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:54 AM   #6
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I've had similiar comments about certain things I choose to eat as well. I think it is more that they aren't educated in nutrition. No matter how small/big the slice how can anyone really reason that chocolate brownies.. with white flour and sugar is in anyway more healthy a choice then brownies made with black beans and splenda .. when I think about it that way I think the "other" people reallly look foolish for putting it down
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:54 AM   #7
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I know I am doing the right thing for me. I know it. I don't feel less strong because of it. I just wish I had a good comeback. Here's the conversation on facebook under the picture (Which I was soooo tempted to delete):

Guy: "Artificial sweetner and Cool Whip? I'd rather have a smaller portion of the real thing!"
"Well, according to Wikipedia, Cool Whip is made of water, corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated coconut and palm kernel oil (CPKO), sodium caseinate (a milk derivative), natural and artificial flavor, xanthan and guar gums, polysorbate 60 (glycosperse), and beta carotene. Sure sounds delicious and nutritious. On the other hand, I do like agave .... especially when it's been fermented and distilled!"

So my comeback was disappointment for citing wikipedia as a source

I don't know, I guess everyone is different. I know it's a trigger for me to eat the real thing but is having the fake doing damage too? Oh well. I am sure this "friend" also eats chips, drinks soda and other "harmful" things that he's preaching about now. I will just move on. Maybe I will delete the picture. Out of sight, out of mind...
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Old 01-20-2010, 10:06 AM   #8
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Oh, a comeback. I stink at those. We'll have to put our heads together and come up with something good!!!
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Old 01-20-2010, 10:22 AM   #9
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Jenn - You raise a really interesting question. And I don't have a comeback for you because I am just not that clever.

But I strongly feel that we are all different in what works for us and our levels of exactness in following a plan. I am like you and can't eat the real thing in moderation. But I can put honey in my salmon marinade and not cause cravings or feel guilty. And from earlier this week, I can eat a small bit of real ketchup with no problems either. And sometimes convenience foods can have a place in our lives despite the unpronounceable ingredients.

You have really inspired me and impressed me since I have been on this site - with your personal motivation and your amazing support for everyone else. I'd be happy to give that support back to you and come beat him over the head with a carton of Cool Whip for you BTW - you said facebook - does that mean he is a "friend?"
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Old 01-20-2010, 10:49 AM   #10
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I understand how you feel Jenn. At work my lunch buddies always make a comment about my food and what I am eating. But you know what I feel better, I've now lost 7 pounds and they haven't. I wish I had a good come back for you, too! You might remind him that your brownie although it has some artificial sweeteners also is fiber and protein packed!
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Old 01-20-2010, 10:54 AM   #11
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I think different plans work for different people. I have friends who swear by Weight Watchers. Not only does WW not work for me, I feel it is actaully detrimental for me, because I become hyper focused on food. We'll never agree, and that's ok.
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Old 01-20-2010, 11:05 AM   #12
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You know in your heart that you are right...You know as you see the pounds fall away that what you are doing works...
That is all that matters...
How about a smile...always a smile...and a shrug...whatever...
We really don't always have to answer...
Best to you and your success...
(I lol inside when someone says to me that sbd is not healthy...I use the old smile trick and know that I am on the absolute best nutrition/exercise path of my life...)
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Old 01-20-2010, 11:50 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oopsmyhalofelloff View Post
No matter how small/big the slice how can anyone really reason that chocolate brownies.. with white flour and sugar is in anyway more healthy a choice then brownies made with black beans and splenda ..
Right on, Oops!

I'd have a hard time blogging because I'm so sensitive to criticism...but my Yoga teacher gets all kinds of comments from her conservative friends and takes the polite approach, which I am becoming very fond of; "Thanks for taking the time to comment, and I'm so glad you've found that just a small slice of the real thing works for you. For me, white sugar and flour are a trigger for me and so I personally choose to find ways to enjoy my treats without them."

Bottom line...don't take it personally.
P.S. We had a donut pusher at our athletic club last week. He refused to stop offering 3 obviously overweight women these droolfest donuts even though we politely declined numerous times. What could be the problem with just one?
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Old 01-20-2010, 12:09 PM   #14
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WHAT? who has donuts at the gym?! THats UNBELIEVABLE! HOW RUDE~ lol
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Old 01-20-2010, 12:12 PM   #15
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I know the type of people you're talking about. All you can do is lose the weight and prove to them that your way works for you. Consider it a challenge to stay OP.
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