[GONNABE165]

I will be sure to post a pic as soon as she is with me.

Biggest Loser - thanks for the reminder I soo can not miss it.

[JessieW]

Speaking of new babies..I'm back at work! Missed y'all while I was out but I enjoyed my time with Libbie. Here's a picture from our Christmas vacation:

[zeffryn]

Jess, she is so cute! I love those first smiles!

-
I'm so tired today...I think the past week of not much sleep is catching up with me.

Also, am I selfish to be sort of wishing that my mom wasn't staying as long as she is? She makes things easy because she does everything for us, but she also doesn't know how the day to day of our family goes and usually makes things more difficult in that department. It makes it hard to discipline a two year old when there is a grandma in the background saying that he doesn't need to do whatever it is we're asking him to do. She constantly just chalks up his whining or defiance to him being two and is vocal about us just ignoring it and him "growing out of it"....there is a reason why he is so good and it is because my husband and I have been diligent about our discipline and have tried hard to be consistent about where the boundaries lie.

I also just want to get to know my new family member and be able to feed him without someone saying that "he's probably not hungry because he isn't waking up"...I know that she is from a different time in parenting but I also know that I wouldn't have turned out the way that I did had it not been for my Dad.

Also, to say she doesn't believe in PPD or the baby blues is an understatement. She's told me quite a few times to stop crying and that I'm just being dramatic.

I guess one of the good things is that DH and I are closer than ever right now.

I'm just so torn on this issue - any advice would be appreciated. Thanks, chicks.

[JessieW]

Zeff--I wish I had some advice. We stayed with my parents for a long while over Christmas and if I head "I think the baby needs..." from my mom OR sister (who is single and has no kids) one more time I thought I would scream. Do you have the kind of relationship with your mom that you could gently explain you need to be consistent with DS1 so he doesn't feel displaced by the new baby--and that includes your normal discipline?

[zeffryn]

I actually asked her yesterday to stop bribing DS1 to be good and that if she asked him to do something to follow through with him actually doing it -- she denied bribing him (even though I heard "grandma will get you a treat if you're good") and still says "Calvin do _________" about a million times before DH or I step in and actually make him follow through. DS isn't stupid and knows he can get away with anything with her so he pushes the boundaries with everybody. It's tough to discipline him when she is tsk-tsk'ing in our ears about everything. She just doesn't understand the logic behind parenting and only sees the emotional side of it - she doesn't want DS to cry, so she'll let him to whatever he wants to avoid it. Sure it is hard for us to watch DS cry when we tell him no or discipline him but we also understand that our JOB as a parent is to raise a good man and the only way we're going to do that is to set boundaries and discipline now. I see it as I would be failing my son if I didn't.

I know it is just a grandma thing, but I wish she understood that it takes a lot of work to get him back to listening to us and obeying cheerfully (most of the time) after she leaves.

[Barb0522]

cottage - I think the girls are so lucky to have you. Snuggling sounds like fun.

me4life - Drive careful. Hope the doctor appt goes well.

Ruth - I spent more than usual to get my toaster oven but it is large enough that I can put an 8x8 inch pan in it. I used it to cook many of our dinners which saves electricity and doesn't heat up the oven in the summer. And it makes great toast too

Cyndi - That lunchtime workout sounds like fun. I don't really know anyone in my office any more but I would love something like that.

pacer - That sounds like fun. Brian likes the balance games more than I do but that one might be hilarious.

gonna - Good luck with the adoption. Babies are always welcome here.

hmac - I hate the cold myself. It was so weird seeing ice dripping off of everything yesterday (and 48,000 people without power) but today everything is warming up.

Jessie - Libbie is adorable. I have wondered how you both were doing.

zeff - It sounds like having your mom there is a mixed blessing. I think you need to gently sit her down and talk to her if she is going to be there more than a couple more days.

phx, Twynn, Kim - Have a great day.

Me - The troop meeting last night was fun. Tonight we have the monthly District Committee meeting. Brian sits quietly in the back with a book. It feels strange being back in the office. I did make it over to the ATM without stopping by the snack machine. I had started to do that too much and I'm trying to avoid it now. So far, so good.

[rdw1]

Morning ladies... I know i have been popping in and out lately a lot but not much posting... I have been horrible and my weight has shot up!!! I have gained 10lbs. I have got to just jump back on the wagon!!!!! We had DH's family in since Christmas, in two waves. his grandparents will be leaving shortly and things will start to get back to normal around here, with my eating habits anyway!...poor excuse but when I am cooking for that many guests I don't like to restrict everyone and I just decided to not torture myself while they were here and I have got to torture myself now at the gym!!! and get back to FEELING better. all of my stupid clothes are too tight!

Well, todays plan is get to the grocery so I have lots of HEALTHY food around... clean out the fridge and get rid of all the NON SBD temptations for me, leaving some stuff for DH that he will definitely get rid of for me , take down all the Christmas decorations so dh can haul them into the attic when he gets home... and go to the gym. I also want to go check out some dishwashers at the scratch and dent sears here in town... I am not sure how much longer ours is going to last~!

[little chick]

Oh Zeff I am sending you a big hug, my mom still does that with my girls and they are 15 and 18. I really think that it is a grandma thing. Hopefully she will go home soon and you and dh won't have to much deprograming to do. Take care sweetie.

[zeffryn]

Originally Posted by little chick

Oh Zeff I am sending you a big hug, my mom still does that with my girls and they are 15 and 18. I really think that it is a grandma thing. Hopefully she will go home soon and you and dh won't have to much deprograming to do. Take care sweetie.

She leaves on Saturday.

I just tried talking to her about it...talk about futile. She just said "I'm a grandma, this is what I'm supposed to do" - to which I replied "what you don't understand about that though is that as soon as DS1 knows that he can get away with something, he'll try to get away with it again and again which kind of defeats the purpose of anything that DH and I have done". She said that this is a time that kids try to get away with things and that it is normal, which I would think would make sense to her that DH and I set boundaries and enforce those boundaries. I tried to explain to her that DS1 is a happier kid when he knows where the boundaries lie and isn't just floating in his day to day wondering what he can and cannot do. When he knows where the boundaries are, he doesn't have to hear "NO!" all the time.

She apparently didn't understand any of it and just ended the conversation by saying "well, I just don't do that."...

I guess I should probably just work on appreciating everything that she is doing around here and that the reason why she does what she does is because she loves my kids so much...she isn't *trying* to sabotage anything, it is just innate for a Grandma to do so.

[little chick]

I think once they become a grandma they totally forget what being a mom is all about, they just look at those sweet little faces and all their love just come pouring out. And I bet once she goes home it will only take a day or two and your little guy will remember what mom and dads rules are when they he relises Grandma is not there to make the changes... I know that how it was with my girls. Good luck

[jenne1017]

Morning chick peas!

Things here are super busy. If we don't bring the laptop in, I will post again tonight.

In the meantime, started Ph1.5 -- had some triscuits (4 of the 7 serving size) last night with dinner (spinach artichoke dip, stuffed mushrooms, raw veggies) and it didn't set off any cravings! Yay!!!

[me4life]

zeff i'd just try to relax she'll be gone in a couple days then things can get back to normal.

[zeffryn]

yeah...relaxing would be a lot easier if I wasn't a huge ball of hormones.

Good news...I just put my pre-pregnancy jeans on and buttoned them.

[sophie]

Zeff - as the song goes "I've been on both sides now..." Your mother just loves your son so much that she wants to leave him with the best memories of her. She can't undo all your good work in one or two weeks. Oh, I just read little chick's remarks and they are just in line with mine.
I spent six weeks with my DD when grandson was born and she cried alot and that upset me because I just don't remember that hormone thingy happening to me. Why six weeks? She lives out west and SIL had to go to England for a while.
Ruth - you are Steve's type of gal. He likes scotch from time to time but I'm not a drinking partner for scotch.
Jessie - beautiful little sweetheart.
ThighsbeGone - exciting stressful time for you. Hope it happens soon.
Everyone else - enjoy the day.

Went to dentist this morning. I guess if it was the back tooth I would have waited longer.
Nice day here but I hear its brewing up for tomorrow.
Sophie

[Pacergal29]

Zeff OH how I remember those baby blue, I remember standing at the stove and crying because the water wasn't boiling as quick as I wanted it to. If you haven't been through them they are very hard to understand when you are on the outside looking in.

Just keep in mind mom obviously cares very much or she wouldn't be there. We all have our ways of how we think things should be done and I am guilty on more than one ocassion of stating my opinion on how people raise their kids without thinking or just plain doing it my way. For example I have a neice that will be 2 in just a few days. She still has a pacifier and she knows I don't like them at that age and the minute I walk in their door she gives it to me and knows not to ask for it back and I think it honks my SIL off.

I don't know what I am trying to say, how about I just send your way. Your a very good mother and tough woman, I know you will get through this with flying colors!