! Hon, you're in very good company, trust me.
We've ALL been there! Have you heard that quote about success? It's just getting up one last time after you fall. That's it! Sounds like this might be your last time!
I'm proud of you for letting 200 be such a motivator. It was scary for me, but I didn't let it scare me enough...and it took until 328+ for me to do something about it. So I think you're doing GREAT already!