This is a first...need advice!!!
 

Hi, Everybody:

This is *officially* my last day of phase 1. I have been dissapointed as I lost 5 pounds the first week, and not a single pound this week, but I am trying not to let that get me down to much.

Anyways, I have ate completely clean for the last 14 days. However, tomorrow night I am going over to an esteemed law professors house with a couple class mates, where he is cooking us dinner. His cooking is renowed, and extremely decadent. There will be wine and dessert, and I am TERRIFIED. I have to stay in this man's good graces, and to him, that will mean eating the food that he has taken all day to prepare. It is not like going to my mother's house where I can turn her offers down...that would be considered extremely rude in this setting.

I have two questions. First of all, how would you all handle this situation? I plan on eating as small portions as possible, and trying to stick to 1 or 2 glasses of wine. Can you offer me any advice?

Second of all, I am so terrified that all of my hard work over the last two weeks will completely be undone. I was literally in tears about it to my husband this morning. How has one outragous meal affected your progress on SB?

Sorry to be such a drama-queen, but this is the first time I am encountering this situation since starting SBD, and would love any wisdom you all could offer.

Thank you so much!!

mary

can i slap you silly??? :-)

1. it's very very common to not lose the second week of phase1... phase 1 is about dumping water and you have very very little to lose in the first place so you lost 1/5 (20%) of what you want to lose total. that's awesome!

as for dinner... what would you do if two weeks ago you found out you had chirrosis of the liver or diabetes or a wheat allergy? would you put your health at risk to make this MAN (not a GOD but a mere man) happy?

personally I would call or email and ask what was being served as there are food intolerance issues (which is not a lie)....

should you decide to indulge, (as I might) know you will show a gain for a few days afterwards (so stay off the scale) and you just keep on going...


in two years when your like me, what would you do? probably not fret, enjoy the meal and get right back on the horse the next morning.

I ate myself silly on Easter, got right back on program this week and didn't gain a thing. (Big sigh of relief) Stayed the same. I would go and enjoy myself and the dinner.

Mary, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Don't fret about it. Yes, one meal could affect you. However, this is a lifetime deal. We are always going to have to make decisions about what we're going to eat at Christmas parties, birthday gatherings, 4th of July bashes, etc., etc., etc. This same issue will come up again and again, so take this as a chance to test out one option of dealing with it, whatever that option may be.

What would I do? I would eat strictly on plan for the morning and afternoon and indulge in small portions at the dinner. I would know that the food that I'm eating would probably cause cravings, so I wouldn't be surprised if I faced that later on. I personally wouldn't drink, as I just don't care for alcohol. I've never had anyone be offended because I refused a glass of wine. You could be "too stuffed" for dessert or you could taste a couple bites and savor them. But most of all, the most important thing for me by far, I would have a written plan for the evening at home after the meal and then the next day. I would have written down every morsel I would be putting into my mouth for that next day so that I wouldn't take the I-already-"cheated"-so-I-might-as-well-throw-in-the-towel approach. I might even write down the next two or three days' meal plans.

Good luck! I hope the gathering is enjoyable for you, regardless of what you decide!

Kara

Thank you so much, Nessa, Murphmitch, and Kara....Once again I am so thankful to have found this website, and such a supportive group of women! Great advice from everybody...about staying off the scale for a couple of days, and about planning out the next several days so I don't throw in the towel. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I also am going to practice major portion control, and try to avoid dessert if at all possible. But, if I eat a little, it might be good to remind me how crappy suggary sweets make me feel, and how much they make me crave! I will let you guys know how it goes. Thank you!

Hope the evening went OK. We just have to do the best we can sometimes.

As to the "only" five pound loss, that's very good considering you really don't have a lot to lose. As Nessa says, you've lost 1/5 of what you want to drop in just two weeks! Most of us would kill for that.

so... how did it go? how do you FEEL emotionally about how it went?

I'm all about the emotions lately.....

You all are so encouraging! Ruth--thank you for putting those five pounds in perspective for me! I'm just impatient I guess.

I was unclear above, but the dinner is tonight, not last night. I will let you all know how it goes!! I'm feeling much more optimistic.

Thanks again!

Mary

Have fun, Mary!

Kara

Mary you have had really good advice here...which also helps the rest of us (smile)!!! It's just one meal BUT you can enjoy it and not screw up your food plan. Wine is good...if it's red! On food that may not be in your plan, take a small portion and just take a couple of bites! I'll bet this one night really won't be an issue over the long-run. But it's good to keep On Program for the rest of your day's food in-take! Let us know how it went!

Hi, everybody!! I want to let you know how my dinner went last night!

First of all, the food was fabulous. When I got there, he had all different kinds of cheeses, five different kinds of stuffed olives, artisan bread, crackers, and wine. Dinner began with a chilled potato and leek soup, then a cassoulet for the carnivores and ratatouille for the vegetarian...me, served with couscous and white and green asparagus. The grand finale was chocalate pianos---yes, babygrand pianos made out of chocalate, filled with chocalate raspberry ganache and garnished with raspberries.

So, here is how I held up: I had about 5 little nibbles of cheese, 3 olives, and three small crackers to start off with. I didn't touch the bread basket the entire night. Two glasses of red wine, spread out over 5 hours. I ate a little over half my bowl of the soup...it was DELICIOUS, but I almost immediately noticed a funny feeling in my head and stomach from the potatores. The ratatouille and asparagus were SBD friendly, and I avoided the couscous. As far as the chocalate piano, I ate the "lid" and the ganache, and brought the rest home for DH. Apart from a nasty sugar rush---I certainly don't miss that feeling--I was feeling pretty good about the night.

To top it off, this morning, I couldn't resist weighing myself, just as an experiment. And, surprise, surprise, I weighed EXACTLY what I weighed yesterday morning! So, the lesson learned it: if there is a special occasion, eat clean the entire day, psych yourself up to return to the program as soon as the occasion ends, and practice moderation. I feel so empowered! This is just re-inforcing to me that SBD is truly a diet that I could live with, for the long term.

Thank you all for your support! In the words of Nessa, I just needed to be "slapped silly"! :)

Girl YOU DID GREAT!!!!!!

You did great, Mary! This just drives in the point that the South Beach Diet is not a trendy fad diet, it's a healthy way of eating that you can easily follow the rest of your life. :)

Mary, I'm so glad to hear that you feel good about your evening out!

Kara