than I seem to. I feel very alone in this most of the time.
I WAS thin for a long time until I was 30! I was so stupid to think that being fat was preferable than dealing with my fear of being attacked sexually again. I should have taken a self-defense course. It would have been less painful than what I have done to my body.
I am so mad at myself that I screwed up my metabolism to the point where I have to even consider dieting. Why did I think it was okay to overeat back in my 30s??? NOW, I am paying for it big time.
What I meant,skinnydogmom,was that I want this to be the last diet I am ever on. I agree with you that it will mean monitoring for the rest of my life. How much and to what degree I have no idea. Every time that I overindulge and I regain weight that I have worked so hard to lose, I am reminded that I have a lot to learn. Period.
I just never thought I would have to be so disciplined about something that should be so simple. Putting food into your mouth. I am still trying to figure out how the heck I got to this place. I know why but I just didn't realize that dieting, which in theory seems like such a no-brainer, is so blasted difficult.
For all of you out there who are a few pounds overweight, stop what you are doing. Do NOT gain much more than 20-30 lbs.
Well, in OA they say one day you will be thankful you had this eating disorder. I am waiting......