Newfie on a crash diet .........
A newfie went to the doctor wanting to know how to lose weight. The doctor ordered the following,
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat
this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have
lost at least 5 pounds."
When the Newfie returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my
The Newfie nodded ..."I'll tell you though, by Jaesuz,
I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat tird day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from the friggin skippin'!"
"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."