ok guys, i'm here to admit - totally stressed & sleeping all the time. i posted a bit earlier about my $$$ issues on a different board and not having enough to buy GOOD HEALTHY groceries...etc...and that stresses me out...

but now here's another topic / problem. lately - i've been coming home from work and basically sleeping ALL freaking day. i work from 6 a.m. - 2 p.m. - and just to say, i LOVE my job, (well, for the most part) - but being that I really don't have a lot of extra money or anything to DO - asides from one extra curricular activity...i seriously come home and sleep.

now, i DO take TaeKwonDo, which i LOVE - but it's a 40 minute round trip to go TO my classes and when i get home at 2 p.m. and class isn't until 6:30 - by 5:30 when it's time to go - this week especially "tom" is visiting - i haven't gone once (normally i do go about twice a week)...but seriously - i don't know what it is...but i will come home and sleep all day. and the only friends i have are AT work + my rommate (who i get sick of every now and then...)

but i so haven't been "on plan" in such a long time - i've been fairly good at maintaining my weight scale wise, but i'm just basically getting into a depression because of stress / money / not having a TON of friends / no boyfriend.

i dunno - i just have absolutely NO motivation whatsoever to do ANYTHING. asides from go to work, come home and sleep - and, again, on my "normal" weeks (no TOM) i DO go to TKD about twice a week, but on the other days i sleep when i come home. and weekends are HORRIBLE....well, sundays at least anyways. i work tue - sat and so of course i get sun & mon off. mondays are usually my errand days and i like my mondays cuz i AM running around doing things i need to do (like i always go to the library to get new audio books to listen to at work)... but sundays - i stay in the house ALL day long. i think to myself, "it's still summer - i LOVE summer - i know i'll regret this come winter - so i SHOULD go out and take a walk or something"...yet i don't. instead i stay in and watch tv all day - which, btw, i hate TV - asides from HGTV, the food network, and style channel - i don't watch cable - and i honestly watch MAYBE a total of 3 hours during the week - i'm just not a big tv person anymore - of course not including sundays.

but example, today - i came home at 2 - locked myself in my room and woke up around 6. now, i know "naps" can be healthy - but coming home and sleeping from after work until 7 / 8 at night and then going back to sleep at 11 just to wake up at 5:30 the next day and do it all over again????


i HATE this! and the fact that i have NO boyfriend / no friends asides from a few at work - who are way too busy with their own lives after work to do anything...and i have NO $$$ to go do anything after work that requires $$$...

my bills stress me out so much - which, i AM trying to knock down and also i'm looking into moving departments at work for #1 a different schedule (mon - fri 8 - 5) but even if i DO get something, it wouldn't go into affect until at LEAST november (i have to wait a year from my hire date - oct 24) and #2 more money...but again that won't be until november. i HAVE put in my application at a few resteraunts for a serving position - but i'd MUCH rather just try to get a higher paid position at the company i'm already at than try to work 40 hours where i'm at PLUS 15 - 20 somewhere else. (btw, i make about $12.60 / hr - which by my terms is FANTASTIC compared to what i used to make...i even have my college degree but not using it...) but seriously what i make is NOT enough to sustain me.

plus, as much as i love my roommate, i REALLLLLLLLY want to live on my own again, but i can't because sharing rent is the ONLY way i can live right now (we pay $355 each).

i dunno - maybe i just needed to really vent all that out. i just seriously need some advice on what to do during the day that doesn't cost ANY $$$ so that i'm not coming home and going straight to sleep after work.
i mean - the reason i'm posting here, of course, too - i can't even come CLOSE to concentrating on my healthy lifestyle. i eat junk (it's cheap) and i've basically quit exercising, asides from taekwondo - which i LOVE but again, it's a 40 minute round trip and gas is expensive!!!

ugh. thanks. i needed that.

i guess, too - one of my biggest problems? i'm lonely. it seems as if all my "friends" are too dang busy with their own lives - and again, asides from work and my twice a week tkd classes, i don't have ANY sort of social outlet. i'd LOVE to join some sort of social group - but one that doesn't cost any $$$ and one that has people around my age (i'm 27) that i have things in common with. two years ago, when i was at my lowest of 160 i had NO problems getting dates or a boyfriend or whatever...and now that i've gained back 15/17 pounds - it makes a HUGE difference and it's like no one wants to date me now that i've put on the 15 pounds - which thanks be to god, at least it wasn't all 60!!! but still. i just really need SOME sort of social outlet that is even more than one day a week too.

btw, i live in Indianapolis, IN - it's a HUGE city - there HAS to be SOME sort of social group i can join, right? but where????????

Have you thought about volunteering? I'm sure in such a big city there are tons of opportunities to help others - even for just and hour or two a week. I've met some really nice people through volunteering and it gives you a good feeling to help others. Quite often, your local city hall or Chamber of Commerce can point you in the right direction.

Hi Indychick! I live just south of Indy and I agree that it is a wonderful place. Is there a church/synagogue or other religious or spiritual place near you that you feel would fit in with your personal beliefs? That may be a good place to start to meet like-minded people.

Also, I know of someone who meets lots of people there in Indy because she works a very part time job at the RCA Dome during Colts games. Sounds like a good deal... Make extra money, meet new people, and get to watch Payton and pals! Just a thought. Good luck!

When I was a single mom, I joined a Singles Group in my area. This really helped to make friends both male and female. It only cost $1.00 each week to help with the cost of the snacks that were provided. It was an outlet for me to socialize and get out of the house occasionally. I was also active in the Singles group at our church. Many of the other singles had children too and this was nice. I was on a tight budget and couldnt' afford to do much of anything else. We had a barter system set up. For instance, someone might do a seamstress job for you, if you babysat a few hrs. for them. It worked really well.
I do understand about the sleeping problem. My family for several years have said that I "sleep more than anyone they have ever known". Sometimes as much as 15 hrs. a day. We learned 3 yrs. ago that this due to my liver disease, and not the fact that I am just being lazy. I still require a nap every day, even after the weight loss. Granted, I think some of mine was boredom and depression but not all of it.

I would volunteer... or even look for a pt second job.. like for me working at a kennel with animals. I'd volunteer or getting paid would be even better. It would get me out of house and doing something I love.

Hi--I wish I had something super productive to suggest, but I am not sure what to say except I have been there.....I think an evening job might really help you, it sounds like money is stressing you so much you don't want to even be awake--could you invest in a bartending course?--I know it would cost money initially but if you can swing it you might meet fun people in the class and then you could bartend if you want and make back the money---sorry I feel self-conscious when everyone else is suggesting church. Or maybe a hostess job at a restaurant? something to get you out and around people and making more money. Nothing is more depressing than feeling over-extended financially.


Also, I just wanted to say that at your height and weight I bet you are beautiful. I bet the reason you don't have a boyfriend or get dates is because YOU think that that is the critical weight over which you don't deserve male attention and therefore don't seek it, just a thought......

At least you are here....last night I was watching a tv crime show and they were questioning a woman about meeting up in a bar with a man and she said " we weren't having an affair.....we would meet up and talk about our problems, it's called FRIENDSHIP, it's like therapy for poor people." Cracked me up. Good for you for finding a happy place, good for me too

hey indy, im from indy too. do you live close to the Monon or eagle creek? I know a lot of people that goto both places. which side of town do you live on?

hi girls, thanks for the suggestions and comments - as for the part of indy - i'm on the westside - yes, i'm close to eagle creek (38th & dandy to be "exact")...

Hi Indy Chick!

I am originally from Indiana myself, only about 1 1/2 south east of Indianapolis. Now I live in Cincinnati, OH.

Anyways. I hear ya on lack of motivation and also being lonely. I work nights & weekends, so therefore I don't get to see a lot of my friends and family. There are lots of wonderful ladies here.

If you want, please come and join us in the Jaded Ladies. We would be glad to have you! We are in the support groups.........Also feel free to PM me if you would like my IM or email.

Remember you are not alone........

Also during depression I find it vital for me to get outside for sunlight purposes. This doesn't mean I like being outside. I'm definately an indoor girl. I just find that it helps tremendously even when I struggle with the idea of getting out of my A/C environment to go do it. Do you have a community or neighborhood pool? EEEKK I know..the dreaded bathing suit. I go with my shirt on because I can't have my back exposed to sunlight right now so I feel less naked.

Bills are overwhelming. We've been great for a good long stretch and then we aren't. My inlaws are out of jobs and need money and we don't really have it to give. My husband will dig it out of us somehow which leaves us with no cushion which lately we seem to need. Yeah, we are stressed too.

I'm gonna suggest something. If you qualify for food stamps or ANY help (look hard cuz there is more out there than the traditional methods), get it. It is discouraging at first, but it is made to help people get back on their feet a little better so they can be productive members of society. You may even look into a free mental health clinic in your area (which should offer counseling services if you need nothing else).

THEN I want you (if you are computer savvy) to make a spreadsheet of all of our current finances. It's like losing weight. You have to stare it in the face, confront it and then make strategies. I think I read in your other post that you are going to debt counseling (not sure). Also I want you to make a spreadsheet with headings of all your major places you spend (include a misc column). For example: Groceries, Car Gas, Rent.....etc.... I want you to put money in each of those columns as you spend it for a few months (make a new one each month).

It's like calorie counting. You really do see where things are going more visually. It works. It is not meant to make you more depressed but to give you a clearer picture. I do this excercise for 3 months every time we get to a point where we are spending faster than we can make it or in trouble. It helps to get me back on track. I'm not saying you spend it frivilously but it is like a healthy eating person saying they have no suprises then they calorie count and acckkkkk they discover something. It's a learning excercise.

actually, my mom already asked me about food stamps, but #1, i'm single (no kids/no husband) and #2, i make (with overtime when it's available) close to $30,000 / year. i'm not "qualified" meaning i make too much money for food stamps.

and as far as the spreadsheet thing...i've actually been doing that for about 5 years now!!! i use excel - it's the only way i know how to budget (that and i also use quicken, i can tell you exactly how much $$$ i've spent on anything/everything since 2001...i'm a virgo - i'm "anal" / a perfectionist about things like that...) lol.

but even WITH that, i'm still broke. i DON'T spend $$$ on foofoo things or "just to buy"...believe me, i'm the quintessential "budgeteer"...i'm just seriously not making enough $$$ - but i AM looking, i've put in apps at work for higher positions and/or i've also put in a few aps at resteraunts for night work.

thanks very much for the suggestions though. also - earlier poster, i'll look at those other boards.

hey, you live like 5 min away from me. and i know how ya feel about the money. i jsut put my bf thru school and he didn't work for 2 years. thank God we have nice parents to give us money for food, because there wasn't any. I should have used that as a diet.

anyways, if you wanna talk jsut Im me or however you do it here. I've been sick lately and havnt been checking in, and ive been eating crapola so i've been staying away.

Single, no kids, set schedule? Cocktail! Fine food service where there is a bar! All through my 20's I did this off and on. I keep busy,made friends, made tons of extra $$$, AND work was the party!