I'm not going anywhere. Hawaii seems so far away.......Gaby is all I care about right now.

The ex had to do some adjusting in her visitation to be allowed to go to Mexico *roll eyes* and of course he was all "happy" that she might not even be around for a court hearing ........and........have I ever said this was the lady that was only 14 when he started a relationship with her?? There is so much filth on this man that I am just totally spinning that the court and mediators are bending over backwards to help this _____________ jerk.......

I have no trust in the court system. I take no comfort in the fact that this is a scum bag.....because he has all the rights until I can prove anything different.....

anyway,,,,,,,,ta ta..........lol................just upset. He told the mediator that he has a lot to offer Gaby........... * gag*.....

chat later

Finally checking in. I have been trying to keep up with the reading, but haven't had time for much else. Everyone seems so busy here, and I do nothing and still can't keep up.
Jane, I was excited to hear about your DH retiring. I wasn't sure how I would like retirement, but it is a blast. Just make sure DH has a hobby or something to spend time with when you are at home. The traveling is great fun, but when you are home you might want some time to yourself. My DH spends lots of time in the garage during the day, so I can have MY time to sew, read, etc. When we are in LV we spend almost ALL of our time together and it is okay since we are going places and doing things. I just have a hard time getting on the computer or being lazy out here.
Susan, I feel sorry for what you are going through. I know mediation is not pleasant. My DD had to go through all of that during her divorce. She also has an X who I would like to smack up side the head. These guys are NOT thinking of the children. Seems the mediator could see through them, but for some reason it doesn't work that way. DD's X even quit going. I could write a book about her divorce. It did all work out for her as he wanted sole custody and he didn't get it. SO there is hope. I am praying that things will work out your way.
Hope everyone else is feeling okay. as seems like the "bug" is going around.

BBL...

Mediation was a joke Ellen - 2 hours of nothing. Only me spending $40 that I don't have in gas and my time wasted on that butt head...lol

I swear..........that little girl is my world. The dumb court system knows nothing of her.....and what she is going to have to go through. I asked the mediator how are they evaluating him as a parent without Gaby??? "Oh, they will ask you to take her so she can be with him and blah blah"......

It better be up in Portland and he better pay his share first before I spend one more dime.......

Though if I read my scripture on my desk......"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human nind can understand. His peace will gaurd your heart and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.............."

God knows Gaby.............I need to remember that

Thanks Ellen

Good Morning Ladies---

Almost friday!! ****sigh**** time is just FLYING by!!

Cristi--I sure hope DD had a Wonderful Birthday. Sounded like you two had great day together. Tell her I said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

Susan--Totally understand Gaby being the only thing on your mind. I wish there was something we all could do for you.....we're here for you to vent and talk it out when ever you need it!

Sue--Good to hear from you. How is the weather in LV? When do you go back to your home state? (I'm always confused so you're going to have to remind me which state that would be!)

Well ladies....I've been thinking of what I would like to do for my anniversary. I would like to plan something just not sure. I told James to start thinking about it. Because this is our FIRST wedding Anniversary!! A special occasion and I want it to be memorable. I would like to go back to the diner we had breakfast at when we first had breakfast together. Then go for a long drive up in the mountains. Spend all day reminencing (sp!!) But I also want to do something more. Wonder what he'll come up with.

So...any idea's for a anniversary gift?? I'm limited on funds but I sure would like to get something for him.

Well ladies...if I want to get my sleeping patterns back in order, I better get to bed. I will check in when I get up this afternoon.

Take Care!

Good morning, ladies,

Cristi - hope DD had a good birthday. We also give money for birthdays. That's what the kids want. I just told Terry, though, that I'm going to start taking each DGD out before the big day and let them pick out what they want, and then have lunch. Speaking of which, like you, I also ate at Applebee's yesterday. I had the salmon, rice pilaf and tender-crisp veggies. Mmmm..

Pam- when I was reading Angela'a Ashes, at least I wasn't eating. It was too gross to think of eating while reading about the conditions. And to think it was all true! Poor boy! Btw, Eddie is a good man to step up to the plate and take care of things for his father. He's to be commended for it.

Angie - how're rehearsals going? Hey, did you see Seinfeld when George dressed up like King Arthur? No wait - that was Henry the VIII, wasn't it? Oh well, it was still hilarious!!!

Marti - hope you get your sleep schedule on track. As anal as I am about other things, I don't have a set bedtime or time to get up. I think that's because when I can't sleep, it throws me off. About your anniversary, I think it would be cool to go back to the diner you first had breakfast. Neal and I honeymooned in Owensboro, KY, where there is a big hotel with live bands. So on our first anniversary, we went back. Three Dog Night was playing, and they really put on a good show. Jeramiah Was a Bullfrog..... Liar... Never Been to Spain.... Joy to the World... I forget what else. It's too early here to tax my brain so hard, lol.

Susan - (((HUGS))) just keep praying, hon. I know I am.

Sue - great to see you. Neal is the type of guy that has to be busy during the day. He would never loaf in daylight hours, but thank goodness there's always plenty to be done around here in the summer. The winters may present a problem, though. It's cold here in Indiana, Sue - stay where you are, lol.

Sophie - come out, come out wherever you are!! What's on your agenda today?

Hello to all the others.

Well, it's cold in Indiana, but Madison and I are going shopping anyway. At least the sun is shining. Did I mention that I got tiny garden gloves and tiny wheelbarrows for the DGDs? They're going to help me plant flowers outside the playroom window in the Spring. Won't that be fun?

Need to run the sweeper and do some other chores before I get going. Sorry I forgot about chat yesterday! Did anybody make it in?

Good Morning!

Sorry I missed chat.... I had another interesting, yet disturbing tea, with my attorney friend yesterday. This time, thankfully, no guns were lying around, lol! And I found out that the married guy did indeed mislead her at the beginning of their relationship...so it wasn't like she knowingly got involved with a married man, and she has made a clean break...I'm glad she cleared that up as I didn't have too high of an opinion, kwim? I think, though, that she and I have too different a perspective on life to spend too much time around each other... I tend to come away feeling belittled or too judgmental....I don't know. I want to be supportive, because her life has been in transiton lately and I think she feels a bit lonely....oh ...it will all work itself out!

Jane - Your post about planting flowers has served to fire me up about my yard. That always seems to happen this time of year. I spend the winter happily parked with my knitting projectsand reading books, then the daffodils poke their head up and I can't wait to get out in the yard!. DH is feeling it, too. I came homw yesterday to find him on the phone with the nursery... he wants to plant a couple of firethorns and a serviceberry.....and weed....he's got it bad, too

Susan- I know mediation is a real pain...I've supported a good friend through this process in the past...she definitely felt like it gave the bio-dad way more credit than he deserved at least initially. It's the court system's way of getting to the bottom of what is really going on. After that long process, though, the dad did not get sole custody, and he paid child support, had a ton of money to spend on the best attorneys and he still didn't get it. Crazy is crazy you know, can't hide it forever. We are here for you anytime you need to vent....it's really true about trusting God with everything...your faith will get you through this .

Sue - So glad you checked in...LV sounds like alot of fun...Sorry about he evil former son-in-law. Hope things are looking up for your daughter. What kinds of stuff do you sew? I used to sew garments and all my home dec, but haven't in a long time because of small kids and a lack of space...but I need to make some throw pillows for the living room, so I am getting back into it finally.

Sorry I'm not getting to everyone...will try to get back later
Have a great day!

Good morning all , Eddie's flight leaves at 7am Sat. That means we have to get to Ontario at 5am so he can go though security and check in. Got him some new lugage and grooming supplies.Printed out a map to the hospital from his Dad's house and made a list for him to check out. Like draining the water from the pipes so they don't burst if it freezes. Getting access to the banks accounts ,ect. Eddie's good with a big picture and I'm good at details so we should do alright. It sounds a little silly but it kind of feels like the old Poop is taking him away from me .

I missed chat to. Didn't realize it was on. I'm not very good at live chat anyway. I get bogged down in details and spelling.

Susan, I tried meditation. It was a miserable falure.Couldn't stop my brain from thinking of all the things I should be doing.Stressed me out.

Jane, 3 Dog Night. Good Band, I'm an old rock'n roller. Love the Doors, Stones,ect.

Girls,better go.Check back later. PS. They need to put a "check" key on this dang thing.

Morning ladies~

I too didn't make chat. Wednesdays seem to be my busiest day of the week even though for the most part I am usually home in time for chat-usually. Wasn't yesterday but was on the 'puter about 2 and completely forgot about it so didn't think to check and see if anyone was there.

I feel so tired today for some reason. Think it is because of the weather, well, that and this darn cold. Feeling somewhat better but man I think I could have slept till about 11 or later. Woke up at 9:40 and was still sleepy but forced myself to get up. Why? I don't know. Don't have anything planned for today so I guess I could have slept in.

Jane~I started a while back letting the kids stay home from school on their birthday and we either did breakfast and a movie or lunch and a movie and they got to pick what they wanted for their BD dinner. It was their day and I wanted to make it special. Still do it except it is a little hard since they work. Anyway...there wasn't a movie on that DD wanted to see so we are going Friday to see Hide and Seek.

Marti~I like the idea of going back to where you first had breakfast. We didn't celebrate our first as it was a month after we lost the baby-not in a celebrating mood. So we made our second one special and renewed our vows in a little chapel in Eureka Springs, AR. Beautiful place in the Ozarks! I'm sure whatever you guys do it will be special and one you will always remember. I am never good at ideas for what to do or what to buy. But one thing I have done that is kind of cutesy is made a coupon book for V for things like a massage, kisses all day, a romantic dinner, breakfast in bed, other silly things. I am already trying to figure out what we are going to do this year. May will be here before you know it and this time I want to have something special planned. DD said thank you!

Sue~so glad to see ya checking in. Was wondering if you were back in Vegas or not and how things were going.

Susan~I am so sorry to hear about all that Mike is putting you through. Why do men have to be such buttheads? You just keep praying and reading that on your desk and I will be praying for you too. I just know it will all work out in the end. (((((HUGS))))) to you, stay strong.

Pam~for some reason I was thinking Eddie's dad lived in the same town or close by. He is a good son for doing what he is doing.

Katy~seems we all are thinking of spring planting. Can't wait for it to get here and the daffodils to bloom. I planted a bunch around the house and yard and am hoping they all bloom. I may dig up the roses by the walkway and put them in the back. I like them but they get crazy and I like something more uniform by the walkway I think. Can't tell ya how many times I got stabbed or poked by those thorns. OUCH! But they are pretty.

Hi to everyone else

Nothing much on the old agenda for today. I did get laundry washed and dried yesterday but need to get it folded and put away today. Going to clean the baths, vacuum and sit down and finish the book I started a while ago, I is for Innocent. I read a couple of chapters last night but couldn't stay awake. Want to finish it then start Life of Pi. Oh, the thing with the used book store is they don't actually buy books from you, they trade. Which would be fine. Take in some books I didn't like, trade them and if I don't like the ones I trade I could trade again-not bad. Anyway...that's all I have. Take care ladies and have a great Thursday!

Afternoon Girls!!

Susan: Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Hang in there though, hopefully all of this fighting will be worth it in the long run..

Cristi: Im so jealous that you are in such warm weather. We got more snow
yesterday and are supposed to get more over the weekend.

Pam: Sorry to hear about what your son has to go through. I had a similar situation with my own father happen to me. I hadnt seen him in two years and then got called to the hosp cause he had lung cancer....I got left having to take care of him, which Im glad I did because I will always have a clear conscience about doing the right thing. He passed away 3 years ago, I was only 20 at the time...Just support Eddie, because it really is a tough thing.

MARTI: Speaking of American Idol, what a riot!!!! I watched it the past 2 nights and some of the people on there are just so ridiculous....It makes you wonder whether they get pd to do that or not.. I mean if I was their family and they sung so bad, I would have to tell them not to go embarrass themself. The sad part is that some of them really believe they are good!!HAHA

Well back to work for me, hello to Jane, Sue, Katy, Angie and anyone else Ive forgotten who popped in!!!

Julie

Hi Julie~

Well, I guess I spoke too soon as it is cold today! And we are supposed to get freezing rain tomorrow. ICK! I hope it isn't as bad as it was last time. We (meaning the people in the city and around us) are still cleaning up from the ice storm a couple of weeks ago. I don't know which is worse, ice storms or tons of snow. I feel for ya. Try to stay warm girly. I too watched American Idol the last two nights, and last week also! DD and I were laughing so hard last night. That guy that did Michael Jackson (thriller) scared us and caught us off guard and we couldn't quit laughing. What about that old guy trying to pass off as 28?! Ummm, yeah right!

Hi Eveyone
I just wanted to check in and say Hi to you all, I am not feeling very well this past week or feel much like talking, just one of those times,I am glad to see everyone is doing fine for the most part, I,m sorry about Eddie's father Pam , I know this must be extremely difficult for him, and for you, ((Hugs)) Susan I don't know what to say, these situations are so incredibley frustrating, it makes me want to scream for you, but I don't suppose that would help much would it,I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers, To Jane, Angie, Marti, Cristi, Katy , Ann, Sue, Mindee, Katie,Julie,I hope that you are all doing well and everyone is having a wonderful day, I will try and chat maybe a little later or tomorrow, Take care Ellen

Thanks,everyone for the support about my x SOB. They moved him out of intensive care into a room with a phone. Looks like he's doing some better.My son is still going but maybe he won't have so much on his shoulders.

Ellen,bless your heart.So glad you came up for air. Miss you lots.

Hello girls...I'm not feeling well today. It's TOM issues and it's making me feel nauseated! I don't feel like eating or moving......don't usually feel this way when PMS strikes, but this month it's driving me crazy. I'm sure that is part of my sleepiness this last week.

Jane--I think the little gloves and wheelbarrows sound so cute. I can picture it now....two little ones and you in the garden! Have Neil take some pictures of the three of you!

Katy--Why don't you and your hubby just drive on down to my house and do my yard for me!! I really need to spruce it up a bit and make it look more presentable. I feel like I've gotten lazy with it. At least last year, we pulled out a dead tree that looked hideous in our front yard.......little steps and some day I'll have this gorgeous yard.

Pam--You've raised a good boy! Going to see his dad and check to see how he's doing after all these years.....I hope he has a safe trip.

Cristi--I like the coupon gift. When James was in Portland for his training, I made this tiny little notebook type thing for him....and each piece of paper I wrote a reason why I love him so much. Punched a hole on the top of each paper and connected them w/ribbon. When he came home I gave it to him. He really enjoyed it. I wrote a bunch of silly things he does that just makes me smile and love him more for it!

Julie--AI IS funny. I watched it this morning thinking "OMG....are you serious?" The one girl who was a "psychic" then sang.....terrible. Amongst others of coarse.

Ellen--Sending get well vibes your way!! (((((HUGS & GET WELL))))) We miss you here.


Ok....I need to get myself together...find something to eat so I don't feel like I'm starving half way through work. I'll check in after work to say hi.

Talk to you all later

Take Care

This was a email from Mike's mother tonight........



Hi Susan,

Got both your e-mails - glad Gaby's cold is over.

I'm sorry mediation isn't going well.

I'm very confused - still trying to figure out what the problem is. As I understand it, this whole mediation thing was brought about because you refused to let Mike see Gaby. I understand that you were telling Mike to get his truck driving job back or similar job with another company so he could pay more in support and you wouldn't believe him when he told you they wouldn't hire him back at that time even though they had hired him back before. I suggest the main reason Mike can't get a job driving truck is their Insurance Co won't cover him under their policy. In view of his record, they probably won't cover him for 5 years from his last citation. Even though he has a valid Oregon CDL, the lack of commercial insurance covering him as a driver precludes any trucking company hiring him. Thus, even though you may feel he hasn't tried to get his old employment back, he has - prospective employers kept turning him down when they run his driving record. The fact is HE CAN'T GET IT BACK, nor will he be able to get a driving position with any other company that has an insurance policy that provides that they can exclude anyone they consider a 'bad risk' from coverage under their policy. He is paying the price for some of his stupid actions in past years. Unfortunately, so are you. If your refusal to let him see Gaby is based upon your not receiving child support in the amount you feel you should be, that position is no longer supported by the Courts. Most States now allow that parent visitation rights as it is in the best interests of the child that he/she receive the love of both parents.
As you know, Mike lacks the education and/or skills necessary to give him employment opportunities with better paying positions. Additionally, his age works against him.

I have some questions:

[1] Mike says he has a copy of what is supposedly the recorded birth certificate which has the last name of _____ crossed off and _____ written in. When was it changed and who changed it? If Mike is shown as the father on that certificate, how could the baby's name be changed without his permission? Doesn't the law require that the baby be given the father's surname? Was there a Court hearing to change the baby's name?

[2] You said you have had "sole custody" of Gaby for over two years with the Father having no rights, not even visitation? We were not told of any Court hearing rendering this verdict. Mike never mentioned any Court hearing granting you sole custody or taking away any of his Parental Rights. Do you have a written document from the Court stating you are to have sole custody? Where was the action filed? What is the Courts' Case/File #? Would you provide us with a copy?

[3] We reason that all this hoopla surrounding Gaby's name gives credence to the possibility that Mike may not have fathered Gaby. Is it possible that someone other than Mike is the actual father? Because of this nagging doubt, Gaby is not named in our Wills. We have asked Mike before to obtain a DNA but he has always said that it didn't matter to him - that he loved Gaby!!! Would you consent to having DNAs run?

[4] Doug told Mike that you paid him back $2100.00 about the same time as we loaned you that amount to help you with your paycheck loans that you had outstanding. Did you deposit that to his checking account so you could write checks to pay off the loans? I understand you can still avail yourself of that account.

Hope you and Gaby have a wonderful birthday celebration - have her card picked out. Looking forward to seeing her pictures. Please remember, I love you and pray everything will work out between everyone all to Gaby's best interests.

and this was my reply. Sorry to clog this nonsense here but I trust you all for feedback. My mom thinks I shouldn't talk with Mike's mom anymore. I am way too trusting - but I THINK she cares about me, don't THINK she would help Mike with attorney fee's and such.
She obviously has been fed a pack of crap,,,,,,lol. Anyway, best get ....feel better today. Spending time on my knee's....helps a lot


Hi,
I wish I could talk with you in person!! The information in this email is 90% untrue......
Where to begin????
Mike wasn't seeing Gaby because in late August after several counseling sessions he lied to me again. I just felt at that time that we needed something in legal form for these visits to happen.I was meeting him half way and he wanted me to come all the way to Seaside. It was one thing after another and it never had to do with money or him getting a job.
It had to do with Mike's instability and constantly crossing boundaries. My own thought is he wanted a relationship with me. It wasn't like I was closed to the idea but the more we spent time together the more I realized how he hadn't changed.
He told me he sent some money and it never came. I called him and he said it had come back to him "what do you want me to do??" . I said........"mail it again". He said ok but it never came. I called back and asked about it,,,,,,this time he said.....he wasn't going to send it after all.
If he didn't have the money he could have just said that but my thought is he never sent anything to begin with.
Again, it wasn't money , it was about building trust.....and I never told him to get a driving job....I wouldn't do that. Obviously his "drug free life" is more important to Gaby if she is ever to have a father.
I am aware that visitation and child support don't go hand in hand. I offered him Friday's and Saturday's and holidays to match his time with Lauren. I offered him 1 week each month in the summertime when she turned 5 years old.
He refused and now it is about me being the "fit" parent.
Gaby's name was changed in the required time frame. This was after Mike spent the first month of her life doing drugs and causing such stress - also after he chose to spend the money you sent for Gaby on drugs. I think he will admit he was at his lowest during this period. It was a very difficult time,with Gaby as a new born and I was scared of Mike's behavior.
AFS deemed it an abusive situation and gave me a grant to move out with the kids.
The Justice Department under some law gave me sole custody when Mike and I agreed that he was the father. He was given a chance to contest that at that time. It goes to the parent that has physical custody when it is established. Mike should have a copy??? It was in the first court order for child support.
Mike is the father, there was no one else but him. If you want to pay for DNA to satisfy your doubts that would be fine on my part.
I know Mike talked with Doug but that information is incorrect. I have never paid Doug back on anything, let alone $2,1000- I have never owed him.Though I do pay him for babysitting..... I cashed the check you sent and made money orders - which were sent to you.
Whew............is that everything?? I am sorry. I vented yesterday and probably shouldn't drag you into our problems.
Gabrielle is a delight and it just seems to me we have ventured into an area that we shouldn't be. I never wanted a court to decided, it would be great if her parents could. I urged for mediation - which btw- we only had 2 hours - we are allowed 4 without paying extra fee's. Now we have a "custody evaluation" which will cost 1000's more.....senseless to me.
What I have always wanted for Gaby was stable visitations. It hurts the kids , because I have seen it with Lauren. When he shows up one Saturday and not the next..... I would love to raise Gaby with Mike in her life. It hurts not to be able to share her with the other person that loves her just as much as I do. I have always wanted that.......and I know Mike does too. When she does something cute ,,,,,,,I want to reach for the phone and tell him all about it.
Anyway............
Gaby went to the gym today and played. It was cute - enjoyed watching her. She loves Beethoven and Clifford. She knows she is 3 and is getting her colors down. I will go to dress her and she says "not pretty" and pushes the clothes away...lol.
She is a doll. I get the pictures on CD - they should be sent soon, I will email you them.I get the others on the 11th.
Better gt back to work!
Love to you both -
Susan