Holy cow. Where the heck did 2004 go?
Alright, well - I'm not letting this year go out with a whimper, dangnabit. I'm going to take this fight all the way to the bitter end.
I know there's no way I can get to this year's lowest weight. I wanted to, but for whatever reason, I haven't been able to find that groove. Right now my whole thing is drink 3 bottles of water a day, and treadmill three times a week. That's it. I just want to start finding my way back to the path I was on at the beginning of this year. I want to start out 2005 already on the way to goal. I do NOT want to hit 45 overweight. I want to hit 45 in the 130s. I need to find my way back to when working out wasn't even something I thought about, it was just something I did. Just like taking a shower or doing the laundry. It wasn't negotiable, it wasn't even a question. I just did it like I did anything else on a daily basis.
Things got out of balance. And finding the balance again has been more difficult than I could have imagined it would be. So back to the very basic basics. Back to the beginning again. Again. Always again. But I just will not give up, dammit. I know I can do this. It's just a bit more of a puzzle than I expected, a little more of a challenge, that's all.
Red - I'm here, I know this has been a tough year for all of us. Some of us, like Happy and you, are still going through so much. I know I'm having to rearrange my career goals because of money, but that's ok. I'll still get there. I think there are times when we all just have to keep breathing and keep putting one foot in front of the other. And maybe we have to take a few minutes to look hard at our lives and figure out our priorities, and how much we can truly handle. *warm hug* I hope things are better for you this week.
Jolly - I'm concerned about you. Perhaps don't even worry about riding right now, just go out there and spend time hugging your horse. Forget about what you "should" do and just remember we own our horses because we love them, because we find a great deal of comfort in simply being around them and breathing in their smell and letting their warmth seep into us when we lean against them. I know there are times when Arashi seems so much like my anchor to reality. I can go out to the stable and just stand in the pasture next to him and close my eyes and listen to him eating hay or crunching up the carrot I just gave him and let the world fade away for a few minutes. He has given me the gift of sanity in times that truly begged me to lose my mind. He is the calming spirit in the middle of life's storms.
Happy - I know life must be a madhouse for you right now. I hope you had a peaceful thanksgiving, if nothing else.
Chachee - It's wonderful that your in-laws affirmed what you already knew. That you've made wonderful changes, that what you're doing is working. It's good for me to hear that, too. It reminds me that I was on the right road, I just got sidetracked.
This time of year is stressful for most people in so many different ways. I hope each and every one of us has some time to reflect on the changes we've made, the blessings in our lives, and what we hope we can accomplish in the coming year. I hope this month brings peace for all of us, even if it's just for a little while.