I'm at my biggest, almost 300lbs, THAT'S terrifying to even write. I've been so blessed, amazing healthy family, gorgeous tiny best friend, handsome husband and adorable baby who is perfect in every way. I also work in the healthcare field which is pretty much my dream job.

But no matter how happy I am everything is clouded over with my weight, my inability to do alot of things, my struggle day and day, my embarrassment and more then anything my fear of having a disease or dying from it.

I'm terrified of having diabetes, high bp and all those weight related issues or just suddenly my body giving out. But I'm so miserable when I'm dieting, I'm hungry, depressed, it consumes me and I don't enjoy life.

I don't want to lose everything I love, I adore my life so much but I can't change, my motivation never lasts, I always fail. I don't know what to do.

I'm thinking about getting pregnant again just because I get so sick I lose weight (but then I gain it back!) and I'm hitting a wall.

I've never sought support before so I decided to give it a shot, maybe, just maybe it could be the puzzle piece I'm missing.

Everyone around me has always been fit, I've always been the fat, sweet, friendly one but never had anyone who understood my struggle.

Any words of advice? Motivation? Hope for the future? Ability to relate? Will my health recover or am I doomed to pay the price? Can I be healthy AND happy or is the unhappiness of dieting inevitable??

Mimimom. Our usernames are very similar and I was in your shoes last summer. One day I simply decided enough was enough and it was time to lose the weight. I was 275. I went on a low carb/high fat diet with intermittent fasting. I found the cravings went away really quickly. I am now at 213 and plan to be in the 100s by summer. Try to set mini goals so the number doesn’t seem overwhelming and don’t beat yourself up when you have a bad day. Just resolve to do better the next day. Remember that you can be in the 100s by next summer. I wish you the best.

It is terrible to feel hungry all the time. I think the key is to fill up on high nutrition veggies. They will make you feel full with fewer calories and your body really does need the nutrition. Try to think of the nutrition value of everything you put in your mouth, and try to be as active as you can.

Many have conquered this, and they are not better than you. You can do this. You just have to want it bad enough. You do not want to bring another child into your life right now. You need to get yourself on a healthy path so you can be a good example to your children. They are going to do what they see you doing, and I think you want your children to live healthy lives.

Good luck to you.

I am also a mummy over 300 lbs ( 312) i am cal counting. Good luck xxx