I used to think that the more people we let know of our plans to lose weight, the more support we can get.

Recently I posted in my facebook page, my intention to kickstart a weight loss regimen again.

Immediately, a female of around 40's who has lost considerable amount of weight and has become slender from chubby, contacted me via inbox, sending pictures after picture of her chubby days, (in which she is still pretty looking) and told me, how I look like her former self, how "bad a mistake" she has made in losing weight (because she has become quite thin), how her "breasts started sagging", etc... Overall, her tone was discouraging of my efforts, very much!

And then another guy, who is in his 60's, writes to me, "What is the point in going against one's genetics? Why try to lose all the weight when nature has destined us for otherwise... it is all in our attitude to make ourselves happy!".

And still some others are not jealous, but still discourage me saying, "We are not made for the viewing pleasure of others!".

What is wrong with all these people? Whatever be it, why don't they stop and know their limits when it comes to others' (good) decisions?

Phew!

I definitely think the comments you received are derived from jealousy or insecurity. They make comments about your weight loss journey when it's really about looking inward and being honest with themselves about their own health/body issues. There will ALWAYS be people in your life trying to bring you down from your high--your job is to either, a) remove them from your life or, b) try to drown out their negativity. Easier said than done, right?

Maybe you should refrain from sharing on social media? Or, use 3FC as your sole outlet for sharing your weight loss journey. You can even create a Instagram account and make new friends who share your same goals. That's what I did. Otherwise I'm keeping my journey private, because much like you, I have people in my life who will want to tear me down in an effort to make themselves feel better.

Keep up the good work!!

Wow, those comments. They are kind of odd as well as discouraging. Personally I hate the idea that its in our genes to be obese. I've been told that by family, and had I believed it I wouldn't have made it this far into my journey. We might not need to be as thin as the next person, but to say it just is a certain way is like telling someone to give up before they've even tried. I think the positives to weight loss far outweigh the negatives if only for a confidence boost. I agree that it might be better to share weight loss goals on weight loss sites or amongst like-minded people for the sake of finding more support.
What you think about your weight is top priority. Don't let them discourage you. No one cares about your weight more than you do and no one's going to lose it for you. You alone have the final say in what happens.

First rule of weight loss: don't talk about weight loss. Sorry you had to endure those ridiculous comments, but it's great that you recognize they aren't in your best interest.

I'm very selective about where I discuss my weight loss goals. Pretty much I limit it to here on 3FC. People always have an opinion, and by posting in a social media setting you're leaving a wide open door for them to post their opinion. If I do happen to post on social media (I think I've posted about my weight loss goals exactly twice) I always make a point to discuss my reasons and they are health based. That's not to say I don't like how I look better now that I weigh less, but ultimately this was about health. That tends to invite far less criticism.

Thank you, you are wise, I should refrain from posting my goals in social media.

I thank you for the understanding w.r.t the jealous comments, as well.

Thank you very much for the reply.

I do have some weight loss rivals in social media and there is some healthy rivalry among us (!) on trying to look our best, and that is why, I chose to announce there.

But looking at the other comments, I'm forced to stay quiet going forth.

You are absolutely right, and many thanks for the reply.

Wise advice indeed. Thank you very much. I'll refrain from posting my views in social media going forth.

(I've decided to brag about my weight loss in Facebook once I have lost the weight, though! ).

What is wrong with those people, such negative and discouraging comments. The only people I tell about my weight loss plans and the people who matter my doctor and immediate family. Sometimes people offer strange weight loss advice, methods and don't understand my reasons for losing weight or what does and does not work for me.

Why do you have "weight loss rivals in social media"? Why are you competing over looking your best? Honestly, that makes it sounds like you're playing into this somewhat. Weight loss is not a competition (unless you're doing Diet Bet and even then you're competing mainly against yourself), neither is looking your best. Lift your friends up, and if these people aren't friends then unfollow and surround yourself with supportive people and BE a supportive person.

The friend who has lost a lot of weight and the older man don't sound jealous of you, they sound sad. Weight loss is a personal, emotional thing and not everyone is going to have positive experiences and MOST people will have a lot of fragile emotions wrapped up in their efforts. Also, as others have said, if you put it out there, you're going to get comments and a lot of people don't have positive experiences around weight loss. You can also add "support only" if you feel like you need to post, so people who are struggling won't see it as an invitation to share their disappointments and difficulties at that time.

If you want support, BE SUPPORTIVE.

I think sometimes people feel their opinions are valued, when they are not. For example, I just signed up for WW this week as I was walking into the building, a man says to myself and friend, "Wow! you guys go to weight watchers? What is wrong with women these days? You girls look great!". Although I am sure he thought he was doing me a favour, I couldn't believe this complete stranger was discussing my personal choices. I just told him I was here for personal reasons and we went our separate ways. That guy discussing the genetics probably thought he was being helpful, however it really doesn't seem that is the case!

8 years ago I had an xanga account where I posted about my very fast weight loss. There were lots of young girls/women losing weigh on that site. I lost 30 lbs in 5 months. At first I had a few fans, and then I had some fans, and then I even got a few haters. A couple girls wanted pictures of me and thought I was making stuff up, I think I posted like 1 or 2, but they kept demanding more. Eventually I gave up on trying to please them. One girl was particularity obsessed with me and would message me several times a day asking me what I was doing and wanted advice. I was very nice to her, so I was shocked when I went to message her back one day and found out she had blocked me?!

At the time I was a little appalled, but thankfully because I was so happy about my weight loss I didn't let it get to me too much. But I learned where success goes, jealous & haters follow. I guess what I learned from that was that sometimes when an environment gets toxic it's just time to bail or go elsewhere on the interweb. It takes time and regular presence for people to grow an obsession with you.

This is why Ive stopped telling people I'm losing weight. People are the worse when you try and lose weight. And when people ask me of I lost weight I lie and say no. I say I'm the same exact weight. I know its bad to lie. But when people know you're losing weight they discourage you or try and act like your doctor.

Well, just do not pay attention to their words