But for me, there are times when it lifts and I start thinking of going to the gym again, as I am now. What then can really impede progress are the organizational challenges involved in getting to the gym. The OCD and anxiety play a part - I have rituals and things I take with me such as my cell phone that help me feel emotionally "safe" while at the gym. Like if I had a panic attack I could call a friend.
And then there are all the things needed - for instance, my favorite activity is swimming. That adds more gear - the swimsuit, the bag to put wet clothes in, and so on. Or any activity other than just walking the track in the clothes I wore in, anything involving showering and changing. I mean, who wants to get all nekkid and then realize they forgot clean underwear?!
And what about just the business of locker, remembering the padlock (and not to lock the key in) and all that . . . I can get so flustered and frustrated. I know, I sound like such a nutcase - and believe me, I'm working on ways to streamline the process. But I have such a bad "working memory" and any deviation or distraction from routine can make me forget something essential. Then the more I stress, anxiety makes my memory even worse.
For those who wonder why I don't just skip the gym and walk in my neighborhood, well, I have agoraphobia too, and live in a neighborhood where there are sometimes creepy men who approach a lone woman and they freak me out. And I'm paying for the gym membership because of the pool and the machines for strength training.
Anyone else struggle with this kind of thing?
