IE: Lessons beyond eating

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  • When I first began practicing intuitive eating in Feb 2014 I was hoping to find a way to stop liking food so much, lose weight, and put and end to my binging. I have indeed stopped binging, I've lost some weight and keep losing, but I can't say that I've stopped loving food nor do I ever want to. I never imagined that a program I started for the purpose of losing weight would change my life so much well beyond food. I am unrecognized me to myself, I've had a complete personality overhaul. I've learned so many lessons and I wonder if others have too.

    1. I am much much calmer and levelheaded. When someone around me overreacts, loses their temper, or attacks me in a verbal way I do not engage or even consider engaging in negativity. I am able to quickly collect my thoughts and respond with understanding and compassion.

    2. Hunger is really easy. Easy to ignore. Easy to solve. It does not arouse feelings of any sort and if it does then I know it's not really hunger.

    3. I'm not judgmental. Since turning the light of self compassion on myself it's hands down a piece of cake to feel compassion for others.

    4. I love to walk because it's a beautiful day. I love to do squats because of the sensation of strength I feel in my legs. I love to do tai chi because of the sense of peace it brings me. I love to work out at the park and feel community with the other athletes. I love to exercise for the purpose of enjoying my body move rather than count reps and log miles and burn calories.

    5. I enjoy food more than I ever have. In fact, I realize now that all the binging I did was never ever pleasurable. Now food pleasurable and comforting in all the right ways.

    6. I've learned that I am trustworthy. I can allow myself to sleep under the same roof as chocolate cake without losing my mind. Food does not speak to me, nor does it taunt me, nor does it trigger me. Food is not out to get me and I am not vulnerable to it.

    7. I've learned that if I take care of my body's needs that it in turn takes care of me and does not burden me with an insatiable appetite.

    8. I've learned that listening to my own voice is much more important than listening to others. And the more I listen and follow my intuition the louder and smarter it speaks.
  • These are all great! I really need to work on this one:

    Quote:
    4. I love to walk because it's a beautiful day. I love to do squats because of the sensation of strength I feel in my legs. I love to do tai chi because of the sense of peace it brings me. I love to work out at the park and feel community with the other athletes. I love to exercise for the purpose of enjoying my body move rather than count reps and log miles and burn calories.
    I just don't like "exercise" yet I love how I feel after I do it. It's so annoying that I have this block.

    My major change has been that I feel my emotions. I express more of my needs, and I take a lot more time to myself without feeling guilty because its a top priority in taking care of myself. I also set boundaries and limits in all my relationships. this was the hardest thing for me to do without feeling major guilt.

    I also feel different about hunger. It is no longer a scary thing that I can't ever let myself feel.

    And I take way better care of myself now.


  • wannabe, you're reminding me of the right path! Thanks for your help.
  • Wannabeskinny...your reflections on your progress are resonating with me.
    I recognize myself in your words.. I see that my goal to conquer food addiction is a process not an end point. I too must stop being unwilling to feel and face my emotions rather than stuff them away with food and booze.
    Thank you for opening up and sharing your dark hidden places.. it is so helpful to me.
  • Another thig I've learned is that food isn't THAT good. I mean it's enjoyable and it's tasty. But when I slow down and really taste it it's not heaven like I used to believe. In fact there are foods I used to binge on all the time that I simply do not enjoy as much or even at all anymore. Like French Fries. Sure they're good. But not ALL fries are good. I have no problem leaving then on my plate if they're not really good. Do you know what I mean??

    Also I've learned to enjoy other thigs so much more. When I first started treatment for my ED my NT asked me what do I enjoy doing? I cousins come up with anything that wasn't food related. Nothing!! Now I enjoy so many things. Exercise, swimming, movies, I can enjoy activities that have literally nothing to do with food. And I do not need food to make an activity compete. Like I used to think that going to the movies meant getting popcorn. But idont have to eat pop corn now to feel like I had an enjoyable time.

    Another thing I've learned through IE is to meditate and foster my sense of inner calmness. I never paid attention to such a thing before.
  • Quote: Another thig I've learned is that food isn't THAT good. I mean it's enjoyable and it's tasty. But when I slow down and really taste it it's not heaven like I used to believe. In fact there are foods I used to binge on all the time that I simply do not enjoy as much or even at all anymore. Like French Fries. Sure they're good. But not ALL fries are good. I have no problem leaving then on my plate if they're not really good. Do you know what I mean??

    Also I've learned to enjoy other thigs so much more. When I first started treatment for my ED my NT asked me what do I enjoy doing? I cousins come up with anything that wasn't food related. Nothing!! Now I enjoy so many things. Exercise, swimming, movies, I can enjoy activities that have literally nothing to do with food. And I do not need food to make an activity compete. Like I used to think that going to the movies meant getting popcorn. But idont have to eat pop corn now to feel like I had an enjoyable time.

    Another thing I've learned through IE is to meditate and foster my sense of inner calmness. I never paid attention to such a thing before.
    I agree partly with your first paragraph...Some foods are much less appealing than you used to think, when you sit down and actually give yourself the time to taste them. i.e., I think french fries are really rather boring, as is bread, and most carby type stuff. There isn't a whole lot of taste to those things. But, other foods CAN pop in your mouth in a way that you might not have expected as well - such as sweet peppers and marachino cherries. It works both ways. The point to stopping and tasting your food is to allow your brain to connect with it, with yourself, and with the environment, etc. so that you register the meal, rather than thinking an hour later, "Hmm....I need to eat something." You KNOW you ate because you FELT it. For me, it's sooo easy to slip into auto-pilot with eating. The benefit to knowing you ate is felt immediately. Having and experiencing 2 marachino cherries registers within my brain so that I don't feel the need to have 2 more. Eating on auto-pilot pretty much assures me that I will eat the whole jar.
  • I think one of the hardest things for me about eating mindfully has been to realize that food really doesn't taste that good. SOME food does, but it doesn't happen every meal or even every day. It's so exciting to eat food that tastes purely blissful but it doesn't most of the time for me and I think that makes me feel like I am failing. Mindful eating is still my biggest challenge.
  • Quote: I think one of the hardest things for me about eating mindfully has been to realize that food really doesn't taste that good. SOME food does, but it doesn't happen every meal or even every day. It's so exciting to eat food that tastes purely blissful but it doesn't most of the time for me and I think that makes me feel like I am failing. Mindful eating is still my biggest challenge.
    I personally think that being truly physically hungry when you eat is the difference between enjoying your food as true physical nourishment (I.e. Your tongue and taste buds are more activated when your body, rather than your mind, is asking for food) and eating mindlessly. When I'm physically hungry (hunger scale 2....where 1-5 is 1 being ravenous, 5 being stuffed), food tastes amazing. Check out the YouTube videos by Josie Spinardi. I feel this is a gentle process and if you're unable to allow yourself to eat mindfully, then you are eating for reasons other than physical nourishment, and there could very well be a bigger problem to address. I know for me, my job is sabotaging my abilities to eat mindfully. In Normal Eating for Normal Weight, Sheryl Canter says that she finds herself eating mindlessly when she feels trapped. That is the case for me, too. When you feel you can't control your environment, you find other things to control, or you try to escape. Not saying you do that, just saying that's the case for others including myself.
  • Thanks Mazzy. I do eat when I am physically very hungry but my food still doesn't always taste amazing. Sometimes it does, but not always. Maybe I just need to get better at matching my desires with my hunger. I have to pre plan a lot of meals with busy family life so its not always what I want right then. I have Josie Spinardi's book, it is good stuff.

    I have the Normal Eating for normal weight on my wish list but I still haven't taken the plunge and bought it. Is it any good?
  • Quote: Thanks Mazzy. I do eat when I am physically very hungry but my food still doesn't always taste amazing. Sometimes it does, but not always. Maybe I just need to get better at matching my desires with my hunger. I have to pre plan a lot of meals with busy family life so its not always what I want right then. I have Josie Spinardi's book, it is good stuff.

    I have the Normal Eating for normal weight on my wish list but I still haven't taken the plunge and bought it. Is it any good?
    Hi again, I really shouldn't be giving advice in the first place...especially seeing as you have lost a bit of weight and seem to be doing it successfully without any help from me! The reason why I commented was because you said this, "Mindful eating is still my biggest challenge."

    My conclusion therefore was: If you are having trouble eating mindfully, then you must be eating mindlessly. Maybe that was a "black and white" assumption, don't know!

    I have trouble with it too. So much easier said than done!! To effectively disengage from a situation long enough to re-engage with another...not easy.

    I liked Normal Eating for Normal Weight. I still refer to it from time to time. Compared to other books on the market that's I've read, I feel it clarified some issues for me.
  • Quote: Hi again, I really shouldn't be giving advice in the first place...especially seeing as you have lost a bit of weight and seem to be doing it successfully without any help from me! The reason why I commented was because you said this, "Mindful eating is still my biggest challenge."

    My conclusion therefore was: If you are having trouble eating mindfully, then you must be eating mindlessly. Maybe that was a "black and white" assumption, don't know!

    I have trouble with it too. So much easier said than done!! To effectively disengage from a situation long enough to re-engage with another...not easy.

    I liked Normal Eating for Normal Weight. I still refer to it from time to time. Compared to other books on the market that's I've read, I feel it clarified some issues for me.
    We are all on the same journey here and I welcome input from others who can often see what I can't see because I am in the situation.

    I wait until I am really hungry and then I eat mindlessly. I have a hard time slowing down and tuning in. But, I still have a pretty good idea of when I am satisfied. It's weird. I think I tune out on purpose because my food doesn't match my mental expectation of what it will taste like. Like I am disappointed when I tune in. I am working on it. And I always welcome input, so no worries there.

    Thanks for the answering my question about the Sheryl Canter book. It's one of the few IE books I haven't read yet. I think one of the reviews on Amazon scared me off, like you have to join her forum to really get the in depth info?
  • Yeah, Sheryl Canter has a forum you have to pay for....I agree, that's kind of weird, and I am wayyy too cheap to fork over money to pay for something like that. We're all entitled to try and make money, but most authors would have a free forum, I think, if not for anything but to promote their work. Still think the book is worthy without it, though.
  • Quote: Yeah, Sheryl Canter has a forum you have to pay for....I agree, that's kind of weird, and I am wayyy too cheap to fork over money to pay for something like that. We're all entitled to try and make money, but most authors would have a free forum, I think, if not for anything but to promote their work. Still think the book is worthy without it, though.
    Yeah it always makes me leery when authors are trying to make extra money on the side beyond their books. ( of course most of them have pricey workshops as well so...) But, maybe I will check out the book. Thanks.
  • Quote: Yeah it always makes me leery when authors are trying to make extra money on the side beyond their books. ( of course most of them have pricey workshops as well so...) But, maybe I will check out the book. Thanks.
    Yup, Geneen Roth, for example.

    And people like Isabel Foxen Duke have nice websites, but the real agenda is pay-by-the-hour phone coaching.
  • Quote: Yup, Geneen Roth, for example.

    And people like Isabel Foxen Duke have nice websites, but the real agenda is pay-by-the-hour phone coaching.
    I don't see anything wrong with this. If someone pursues their passion and tries to turn it into a career how is that wrong? It's a valuable service and I pay my nutritional therapist to help me figure this whole thing out. It's worth it for me.