So the last few days I went shopping. Huge sales, and I'm going on a vacation to Cuba with my husband in two weeks, and a lot of my cool weather clothes fit a 15-20 lbs lighter me. I found myself feeling very "judged" on Friday. I hate going to the mall anyway, because I usually don't find anything that fits. Ill look around, maybe see something cute, bring in 10 items and usually not even find 1 that I like on. I have a very curvy figure, so if I find something that fits my chest or my butt, it's usually very baggy on my waist, which makes me look bigger than I am (not going for that!)
Anyway, I felt by far the most judged at Banana Republic. The lady gave me this look that I really didn't appreciate (a why are you here look). Also, I was dressed for a day of walking around so I was wearing capris (that are way too big) a black tank and pink shirt on top, and my dansko emmy's (yay for comfy shoes!) So, I guess I didn't look like their normal shopper. The racks also didn't help. It went from tons on xxs, xs, small, and a couple mediums. I didn't see but maybe one or two larges in the whole store. And all those gorgeous dresses? Nothing higher than a 12 in most of them. I saw one 14. They didn't have a great line right now, so I went ahead and left after trying one dress, but I just really didn't appreciate her way of interacting with me. At least in other stores (like White House Black Market) they went out of their way to make me feel welcome and showed me different things, very friendly even though I didn't end up buying anything. I think for most of us, feeling like a leper shopping is a pretty common experience. I just feel like people look at me like I don't deserve to have pretty things, or at the very least, why would someone like you be shopping here? Even though I'm not at my ideal weight, I want to respect my body and have nice things to wear. I also would appreciate it if stores would carry clothes up to the average woman's size (which I think is 14/16?) and not automatically make most woman feel unwelcome by crowding their racks with sizes 0-6 which I haven't been even at my lowest weight.
I did manage to find a lot of great stuff at the Ann Taylor Loft outlet near where I live for a steal. I actually found a pair or size 16 pants that actually fit me well. shocking!
When I was on the phone with my friend sitting down a little girl walked past me and said "You look really pretty!" I appreciated that a lot considering the frustration of not fitting into a lot the last few days, so, I'm going to go with believing the little girl, and not the fashion industry.
For anyone who did get through that long thing, you have great patience! and thank you. Hope you all had a great 4th!