the light bulb is not turning on for me

  • Ive started the program recently, done step 1-4 with sponsor...But all the while I am still stuffing face...my sponsor says you do not have to fight with willpower in this program, but so far is feels like I am waiting to begin another diet.....How did you guys start? Did it feel like a diet in the beginning for you, because it is to me...
  • Have you tried just praying for the willingness to try? That's helped me when I get myself in a place where I'm stuck. The honest, deep-down truth is that I'm not willing yet. And trying to create action where there is no willingness is putting the horse before the cart.
  • I'm feeling the same way Davina. I just joined 3fc , hoping to get support and find others in the same place I am. I feel like I am stuffing my face with everything before I start a diet or change my eatting habits and lifestyle. I am an emotional eater. My mother n law lives with us, so I am eatting all the time. I have over 100lbs to lose and I really want to run. I feel like "why bother" "you'll just quit like you do every other time. I have to change and I know I have to change. I need to for me and my health. I need help. There I said it.
  • Hi , thanks so much for replies.

    I feel like the pieces have started to come together slowly.
    I find myself wanting to try to eat cleaner just out of curiousity to see if compulsion will die down when removing addictive substances, but it was only recently I even gave cooking some effort so a few weeks of doing steps and still totally bingeing.
    Alison did you do 10 step yet? (if you are on any of the email loops we could exchange email addresses for support if you want, just pm me.)
    I reached step 10 and feel like this was the practical step I was looking for that I could apply in daily life. Although I am still confused by it, my sponsor reminded me this is not a program we apply intellectually but we feel our way through. If you are not used to living in a spiritual place it will take practice until one day hopefully it falls in to place.
    Im by no means eating perfect, just yesterday i overate and binged on trigger foods. but there are a few differences I am noticing. First is that I am not obssesed with scale, I will not even look at the scale likely until a few weeks. Second after the slip yesterday and also starting off badly today with no breakfast I didn't feel like "the diet is over" but just that it was another day to get it right( or moreso another meal to get it right)
    they say "don't quit before the miracle happens' so I am hanging on to that and I hope you guys will too.
  • Quote: Hi , thanks so much for replies.

    I feel like the pieces have started to come together slowly.
    I find myself wanting to try to eat cleaner just out of curiousity to see if compulsion will die down when removing addictive substances, but it was only recently I even gave cooking some effort so a few weeks of doing steps and still totally bingeing.
    Alison did you do 10 step yet? (if you are on any of the email loops we could exchange email addresses for support if you want, just pm me.)
    I reached step 10 and feel like this was the practical step I was looking for that I could apply in daily life. Although I am still confused by it, my sponsor reminded me this is not a program we apply intellectually but we feel our way through. If you are not used to living in a spiritual place it will take practice until one day hopefully it falls in to place.
    Im by no means eating perfect, just yesterday i overate and binged on trigger foods. but there are a few differences I am noticing. First is that I am not obssesed with scale, I will not even look at the scale likely until a few weeks. Second after the slip yesterday and also starting off badly today with no breakfast I didn't feel like "the diet is over" but just that it was another day to get it right( or moreso another meal to get it right)
    they say "don't quit before the miracle happens' so I am hanging on to that and I hope you guys will too.
    Yea!!! That was the real turning point for me. When I realized that when I f-up, I can start again in that moment. I don't have to wait for the next morning. I don't have to beat myself up. I just pick up where I should be in my food plan and start eating sanely again.
  • I'm a real sick puppy. I a.m. so desperate. I have been trying to stop compulsive eating for years. I just found out that was the word I needed to know to get the right help. So here I am. I like to keep it short so if you talk back I won't drag on.
  • Hi Martha - you posted in the section about the 12 step program called Overeaters Anonymous (like Alcoholics Anonymous). If you are not interested in that program and need support with your compulsive eating then check out the threads directly below. Knowing and admitting you have a problem is a great positive step. Many want to blame circumstance etc. Read the topics below and jump in with your questions, feelings, concerns. Welcome!
  • Thank you Tommy. I did. Look and behold. It's just what I've been looking for. I'm so glad we all speak the same language here!
  • well I am struggling with the spiritual program I have to admit.
    my food is ok for now but I feel like im on a diet and hungry often.

    i want to experience the promises in the Big Book, not just another diet.
    I think maybe once I start sponsoring, hopefully things will get better.
  • I started this program when I talked to my sponsor from a different program about my ed. She was also in oa,so she guided me through the process,I created an eating plan and abstained from eating compulsively one he at a time. I was a member of aa for years,and not drinking was harder for me than not eating. I learned about abstinence in that program. Recovering from my craving to drink prepared me for this program.
  • The first 3 steps
    I can't
    He can
    So let him
    I had to finally give up control of me
    I had to surrender me
    I had to finally believe there was something greater than me in the universe. I found God.
  • Yea I see this program has worked for many but not fully for me.
    Not the spiritual part anyways and without that there is no recovery is there?
    I know many have left and come back to OA where they finally found recovery so the door is always open when I am willing.
    I liked the fellowship and I think it has helped me in some significant ways like not feeling like I have "ruined my diet" or looking into fads. Realizing that I eat for distraction when I am emotionally distressed which has been a lot this year. I always thought I was just addicted to the food but have noticed it is a feeling of some kind of relief I am looking for which I will never find through food. I ask myself now, will this drive-thru binge make me less anxious or depressed about my life situation? and that sometimes has helped stop a binge. I have doubts that I will overcome this but I have made the most progress this year than I ever have so I think I have OA and my 2 sponsors to thank for that. I never did try sponsoring though which I suspect could have been the missing link for me. It is really the most important piece and our whole purpose. The thing is I couldn't understand the spiritual promises myself so I didn't know how to pass it on to others if that makes sense.