I have fairly severe anxiety (that impending doom black cloud has loomed over my head my entire life) and suffer from frequent panic attacks, though most are mild. I have no issues with social anxiety, mainly people I already know, so my issues are a bit different than yours, but there are definite parallels. Some days it's a struggle to get out of bed or I refuse to leave the house. It just seems to be too much. Many days I don't work out at all, but I try to do some sort of exercise at home. There are great workout videos on youtube. I really like blogilates. Her workouts are all doable for every fitness level and most don't require equipment. I also have to have structure, so it's nice to have a workout calendar to follow to keep track of what to do as opposed to just being given an infinite number of options.
I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and I'm really going to push for medication. At some point, you have to realize that this isn't something you can handle on your own, it's a biochemistry issue. It will get better though, you can get through this

I so disagree with online grocery shopping!

I get that it is easy, but, it's another way to hide.

I have in the past suffered from, anxiety, and panic attacks. It sucks!

I am lucky, I have a very understanding spouse, who helped me face the fears, and move on.

Don't get me wrong, it was horrible! Shaking, panting, chest hurts, I wanna puke! I was like frozen to the passenger seat of the car some days. I literally could not move enough to open the door, and put one foot on the sidewalk.

But, facing it, turned out to be a blessing.

It was not easy! In fact, it totally blew mud.

However, sucking it up, and facing it, was what I needed to do.

I am now a much stronger person.

When I look back, the fears, that had me paralyzed, were not real, they were in my mind.

I have come so far, and now, I'm happy.

I get the feelings, of being stuck, and afraid, those are real.

But there is a whole world of happy, beyond the fear.

Yes I definitely agree the only way to overcome it is to face it. Doing it is another thing entirely. Some days if I take the sedatives I can go to teh back of a smaller grocery store. But just yesterday i had to go to the back to get the cream and was trying to stop and stay as long as i could but as soon as that panic starts through me i have to get the **** out. usually i will get dairy products from the drug store as its close to the entrance.
It's a nightmare, I'm kind of losing hope now in august it will be 5 years with this problem.

shcirerf, do you have any tips or techniques on how you went about your exposure?

Hi Davina, yes I have suffered from both. I suffer from severe anxiety, had it most of my life and agoraphobia also though right now I'm able to leave the house but finding myself lately getting nervous driving and about to stay off the freeways again. My anxiety is so severe that I'm on disability but can work part time which feels like full time.

I'm also a recovered bulimic so I have the compulsion to constantly eat. These two things have been a lifetime struggle and it wears me down at times. I adore sweets and can't get enough of them but then I'm disgusted with my weight. What I do is just really try very hard not to overeat when I'm home. There have been times though when it didn't work and I packed on the pounds. Right now I'm doing good. It's a real struggle but we're here for you. I won't lie and say this is easy.

I was like you and suffered badly from panic attacks and could not leave my house. After an endless search going to accupuncture, aromatherapy, naturopathy, spiritual healer etc. etc. I finally went and spoke to my doctor who put me on medication and I also had cognitive therapy.
I have never looked back and that was 14 years ago! Get medical help ASAP!

^ I love golden girls lol. I don't think it's silly, watching comedies has been therapeutic at times when I was in dark moments and wanted to escape my own thoughts/feelings. My personal fave is Curb your enthusiasm, I just can't help but laugh when I watch that show. Thanks for all the other suggestions.

today I took a bus for the first time in 4 years or so since my car broke down. So maybe that is a progress into fully desensitizing my brain, we will see.


I have started doing 12 step Overeaters anonymous. I dabbled in it before but would get way too frustrated and stop. This time it's been a full month, actually going through steps with a sponsor on phone,etc(have not been to face to face meeting yet) I went in because I was desperate to do anything to stop my overeating/compulsive eating/binge eating. But I've stayed for all the shares I read and people i've spoken with through email that give support. Some of these people not only are recovered from eating but are filled with peace that you can feel from their writings. Another has found relief with her depression. I went in for the food but am also staying for the hope that it can help with my fears and becoming an overall more content person. I just wanted to share this in case it is of help or something to look into for anyone.


Someone else also suggested a CD to me, Pass through Panic, Dr Claire weekes(her book hope and help for your nerves is really good) that was very helpful to them so just wanted to pass that on, it could be really helpful to play in the car while driving if you have issues there.

I have been going downhill with my mental state the last few weeks.
I lost my job and car(which was my safe mode of travel) and just feel trapped, in my mind, in my home. To add to the anxiety and feeling that i am about to lose it, I can't stop the negative thoughts and soul crushing depression. Its hard when you have nothing to fill your time anymore and have literally nothing to do but think and ruminate and ive also isolated from my friends for so long..the one friend I do still keep in touch with I would drive to meet up with

Anyone have any tips or distractions for a routine when you are unemployed to get out of your head,have a purpose? Any input at all is highly appreciated I guess I would also like to just talk..I literally feel like prisoner with this anxiety disorder.
I am watching life go by, I get a lead on therapy and then it falls through, I don't know what to do anymore. Anti anxiety meds are the only thing that give me a moments peace and I make sure not to take them every day so they work if I really need them.

Davina, I believe that if you took the right anti-anxiety pill every day, you would eventually feel better. I don't think taking them only when you really need them works. If you took them every day, you would not feel the need for them. That is the problem many people have; once they get on the correct meds, they feel so good they mistakenly think they no longer need the pills, and they go crashing down.

PLEASE see your doctor ASAP and explain everything. I feel for you. I have had that trapped feeling and the negative thoughts. My last full-blown panic attack was in 2012.

Hello, I too have anxiety and it makes it hard for me to leave the house. I have come to the conclusion that every time something quite stressful (where I feel or don't have power to change the circumstance at that time) I retreat indoors and it steadily gets worse. I have now gained 60lbs from staying indoors for almost 2 years due to abuse. I have gone through readjusting myself back into society - I guess you'd say, several times. Never gets easier. I found the best way is to just leave the house on small errands. Although starting out... it is hard... I started out a few times just going on a few hour trips by myself. Granted they weren't the smoothest trips but I could come/go when I wanted and did not have to really interact with many people.

I am trying now to go outside and do things now but it is hard. I am just starting out again. I put things off all the time. I say I will do x,y and z tomorrow but when it comes I procrastinate and do it on purpose so that perhaps DH can do it or at least give me a ride and come with me.

I don't really have any advice for you about what to do while unemployed. I never really found anything to do for those 2 years, I was depressed so most enjoyable things weren't too enjoyable if you understand me. While you are looking for another job why not volunteer a few hours at a charity shop or something similar to try to help you get out of the house. I'm not sure if you are like this but I am more likely to leave the house if my job depends on it/people depend on me. Other reasons to leave the house I just blow it off. There are also some online volunteer opportunities as well if you google a bit. I forget the places but some that were interesting were to do captions for Youtube videos for deaf folks and to read/record stories for people to listen to. It could keep your mind busy and help others at the same time.

Send me a message anytime.

Hi Davina, i haven't read most of the second page but here's some suggestions from me. I have dealt with depression for years and have never had a panic attack but i have experienced anxiety and lately have had a little bit. I get it mildly and can cope with it but having it again reminds me of how much it throws you off. So i can totally understand why you've become agoraphobic.

Anyway what i want to say is this:
1. I don't think changing antidepressants will fix your depression here. I think the only thing that will help you deal with the depression is dealing with your other problems such as your weight and taking your anxiety for treatment to therapy sessions.

2. I think CBT would be the best form of therapy but also learning mindfulness meditation. The thing about mindfulness meditation and how it can help you is that you learn how to sit with uncomfortable feelings and to let them pass or keep on doing what you need to do while the feeling is still there. You see most of us do tend to be ruled by our feelings and if you can't yet talk yourself down from a feeling, you can a) learnt to breathe yourself down and b) learn to experience the uncomfortable feeling like anxiety and be ok with it.

You could practice that on the front step of your home or in very short walks outside your front door. But you should learn it from a skilled therapist or buddhist meditation teacher.

After you've done the initial training with your meditation from a psychologist, you could then go to a vipassana retreat and do it with a whole group of people, starting with perhaps a weekend retreat only so help you get used to that context. Finally you would do a 10 day session. They feed you good and that would help you with the diet part of things. When you apply to do the retreats, you should tell them about your conditions so that they can probably give you a room to yourself. And for that you would need a letter from your doctor. So that's all stuff that would take a period of time to go through but its a way to think about starting to tackle it all.

The retreats are only paid for by donation. They are all over the world. There will be heaps of places in america you can go. I've two 10 day retreats. If you consider one of these, it would probably pay you to find out as much as you can in advance so you have some idea of what to expect and what would be expected of you and how to deal with any i mean ANY, little issues or big ones that come up.

But first step would be to get a therapist one who is trained in both CBT and mindfulness meditation.

Personally i think if you haven't got anyone helping you to get to the supermarket and making sure you get there i'd think you are better off getting your vegies online shopping. At least this way you could start eating a lot better.

As to exercise, you can start to include just a few little things throughout your day to get your started. That's what i've done. I started with doing 5 squats a day when i go into the loo. Then on my way i do 5 pushup against the washing machine. Then i got a book that had some pilates exercise and started doing just five partial sit-ups - the ones with your knees bent and your arms crossed behind your head and then your turn left and right. And then i'd turn over and do five head and should lifts for my back with hands by my side. A week later and i'm now motivated to go running and i went today all of a sudden.

When you are read to do a vipassana retreat look up goenka vipassana. There is nothing to be afraid of when going there. They are very well organised and managed and are used to dealing with all sorts of people and problems. They put in a good effort to look after you but they are not their to counsel you. RAther to help you learn how to do the technique and sit through the whole course. Do not worry about the rules and restrictions. Everyone finds they work very well regardless of what you may think when you first read them. i.e. no talking to others, no eye contact, no books, radios, phones etc. Its a global phenomenon that has been going on for quite a few years now. They don't really want to convert you to anything but just teach you how to do this meditation technique. So people with all sorts of religious backgrounds go and are welcome.

Pattience, thanks for the vipassana meditation suggestion, looks like I have a centre about an hour from me. I am definitely going to look into it. I've been looking into retreats and such but they are all way out of reach for me price wise so this seems like an amazing opportunity. edit..actually reading up on it and some comments it sounds kind of scary and not suited for someone with panic issues..I'll research some more on it.


chablet,I relate to a lot of what you've said. I too gained about 60 pounds since this whole thing started. I have always had a weight and food problem, but just ballooned due to so much inactivity and doing nothing but eating.
I've never heard of the online volunteering options sounds very interesting, will definitely look into it..Thanks. Please message me anytime as well.


Thanks Monica for your support. I am working on finding a good doctor/psychiatrist

I used to suffer a lot with anxiety. Exercise put an end to it (I'm just too frickin' wasted from working out to be worried about anything).

I therefore support other people's recommendations about exercising indoors.

Davina, its definitely something you should work up to with therapy first and learning mindfulness from psychologist teacher first preferably. I can breakdown all the other concerns that you may have though, its also why i suggested starting off with a weekend or as small a retreat as they have for starters.

Although its strict, they do care for you a lot. And if you know about ways to make it easier for yourself, you could manage. Did i say i've done two retreats in different centres. There are always one or two people who leave early but if you were well prepared in advance, you'd have no trouble. I found that for me, all my therapy and having learnt the basics of meditation and done some reading in advance, made it much less problematic for me than for people who go straight into a 10 day retreat with zero awareness of meditation and the centres. Most ordinary people can handle doing that, but for people with any mental health issues, they need to be properly prepared.

What i learnt from my first one, and was much better at handling for my second one, was not to argue in my head or outside it with theoretical points i disagreed with. but just to go with the flow.

Although its a long day, if you don't get up for the morning session, that's fine. There is plenty of time for rest and sleeping if you need it.

But as i said, you should be well prepared in advance if you have an anxiety issue but it could well give you a huge breakthrough in your experience if you can stay with any course you start until the end.

Theres'a also a book you could try to work with from home. Called mindfulness in Plain English, though i think if you can learn from a psychologist you will leaps and bounds ahead of anything you can learn from a book but that is a very good clear and straightforward book to start with. I loved it so much i read it twice straight away. There's also Jon Kabat Zinn's book called Full Catastrophe Living which would benefit you. In it he shares the same technique as that in the vipassana centres. But the vipassana experience is so worth doing. The teaching style is really really excellent - not to put too finer a point on it.

I definitely know how you feel. I am at the point now where I do not leave my apartment unless I have a psychiatrist appointment. I am on several different anti-depressants that seem to not really work at all. I am now at my heaviest which I believe to be approx between 450-500 lbs. I am so scared to leave my apartment for the fear of being made fun of because of my weight. So yes I can definitely understand how you feel.