I feel really crummy that I am admitting this little bit of "self-hate" here, but, I am just so disgusted with my weight right now that I'm even too embarrassed to write it out online. It's just... I dunno. It's not that I'm beating myself up over how much I weigh... I mean, after all, when people see me in person, they can give a good guess-timate of how much I weigh, so it's not like it's this huge secret or anything.

However, for the time being, I'm just going to do "mini-goals". Perhaps when I lose enough weight and have been doing this for a few months and actually sticking to it, I'll create a weight loss ticker for my signature. But right now? It seems like this impossible feat so I'd rather just focus on short term goals right now rather than the big picture.

So, my first short term goal is 25 pounds. I figure if I can lose 2lbs. per week, that would put me around mid-April. Hopefully the first 10lbs. or so will drop fast due to water weight, so it will come off a little faster.

Anyway, I'm just creating this post to keep myself held accountable for when the time comes. Hopefully when April 15th rolls around, I'll be able to come back to this thread and say,

Yay! I did it!

... and then start tackling my next short term goal.

Thanks for reading.

- Dakini

Setting up small goals sounds like a good plan, Dakini. Wishing you the best of luck with your efforts!

Thanks! I'm really excited to start (even though I feel as if I have already started tonight by simply gathering all the necessary tools for tomorrow morning). I even made this awesome vegetarian WW Points chilli tonight for tomorrow, as to prevent any "waiting for dinner to be ready" snacking. Being prepared, I have learned, is really the key to sticking to a healthier way of eating/living.

Don't ever feel ashamed about admitting your weight here, I mean, I even hate using that word...admit, it's like you should feel guilt and shame. We all let ourselves go at some point in our lives, either physically, mentally, financially...you get the idea. But we pick ourselves up and make real and lasting changes when we've had enough, some people call that "rock bottom" I suppose. You're anonymous here, open up, you'll feel so much better, and I do believe it will motivate you to reach all of your mini goals! 2lbs a week is doable, I tried for that at the beginning of my journey, some weeks I met 2lbs, some weeks I didn't lose an ounce...there are so many factors (especially with women and our hormones/cycle)....I hope you feel proud about starting your first mini goal! Good luck!

Thanks, Chardonnay! Yes, I think once I get to the 20 day point and am allowed to have a signature, I may post my weight loss ticker. I know I shouldn't be ashamed, but I think when I focus on how much I weigh now it seems like I'm never going to lose it... seems like such a distant goal...

And, yes, hormones are horrible. You've just reminded me of a topic I want to post about-- initial weight gain when starting a diet program. I'm going to go create a new thread now about it. Thanks!

Very much agreed, seems like it's easy to make crappy choices if we don't have a plan. And if you have a knack for cooking, all the better! Hope your chilli is a success.

Thanks! It was great, actually. It was the first thing I ate today (I had a late start so I went from breakfast straight to lunch).

I think it is enough that YOU know your weight. You're the one who has to do all the work, and right at the beginning, there are lots of little mind-games that help get you through the rough patches as you settle into your new lifestyle and tackle making new habits. So whatever works is a darn good idea in my book!

Look forward to reading about your progress, I have no doubts you can do this!

Thanks so much for the encouragement, Mrs Snark! It is greatly appreciated!