Before I make a comment about this day I am "working"; I wanted to share with all of you why I started doing this in the first place. First of all, believe or not, even though I still remember many of you from my stint before a couple of years ago, I felt somewhat tongue-tied just jumping back in the dialogues mid-stream so for me, it just started as the proverbial "ice breaker". After I hit the last day (which I think is Day 41) then I will just post which skill I am working on at that time and how I am doing with it; although, by the looks of it already it might be a handful I will be juggling.
Day 18: Change Your Definition of Full: I was just thinking about this last night and this morning. In the distant past, I have joined many different weight loss programs, some costing in the thousands with no guaranteed results either. The one thing that strikes me as I am re-reading this book is how so many of those programs hand you their plan (usually one size fits all too) and then the expectation is that you will lose weight on that, showing up once a week for a weigh in.
Now, I am speaking from my experiences in a decade or so ago so things may have changed but I do not recall anyone ever giving me the tools (and that is what BDS does) to deal with the different kinds of situations that I might find myself in. I remember asking this once while following a nationally known weight loss program (that advertises on t.v. all the time with famous celebrities) and the contact person just told me "do as we tell you to do". I did but it did not guarantee that the weight that I did lose would not return, which it did.
Repeated banging your head against a wall is very demoralizing and I have done my share of that. It reminds me of the definition of insanity, " doing the same thing over but expecting different results." Well, the day the "insanity stops" is the day you start to do things differently. If I can pinpoint one specific thing that I like about this book and what Dr. Beck outlines is that if you want "different results" (which, of course, we all do) then we need to do things differently.
Then, she sets about showing what that is.
The first time that I read this book I was taken aback by how direct and almost blunt Dr. Beck "comes across" but since reading other books on the same subject, I now really appreciate her "no nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is" directives. Many of these other books are even on the best sellers list; however, they hem and haw and try to obscure some of the truths that are self-evident in this book. I think they are just plain afraid of telling people that the primary
and only function that food should have in our lives is to fuel our body to perform at its best. It reminds me of a couple of lines from the movie "A Few Good Men": "I just want the truth" whereas the other character says, "You can't handle the truth." Well, Dr. Beck believes we can and we must.
I want to say that I have tried to incorporate these principles in diet groups that I have lead. I have not had the success that I had thought I would but I think that conversation says it best. It takes a certain level of wanting to face the truth about ourselves that many people that I have come to know, some very well, do not want to face about themselves. They would rather remain "where they are at". Period. I respect that although knowing that some of them are risking their health and that they are good friends makes it tough for me to watch. Still, one thing I learned in my 18 years of working the 12 Steps; we are all at different points in the same journey, some of which we may see on the other shore and can only "wish them well" once we "cross over". When this happens, I am always saddened by it initially but I have learned to let go their "recovery" to embrace my own.
I have come to a crossing where I am willing to give this program my absolute best. I will admit that when I read it before I didn't work the entire program as Dr. Beck lays out so I had "partial success". She addresses this early on and reminds people to not skip around using a hit or miss approach. I didn't listen then but I am now. It is also at this time, and it has been a long time in coming unfortunately, that I also want to face another equally persistent and troubling "addiction"; one that I also practiced "half-measures". I am really being tested and tried right now. However, I plan to use this BDS to navigate my way through so I do lose weight while I am dealing with the other "addiction". I can't wait to lose the weight and then deal with the other. The stress of not doing something is worse than dealing with it. Dr. Beck talks about the stress of debating on whether to give in vs not giving in and this is no different.
I will skip personals today since this has already gotten longer than I had planned. The past several days in her book are the key areas that I know I need to work on. This day in particular. However, I am here to say that it is doable and I have done it on more than one occasion.
ForMyGirls: I can add another point for working out: 3 thus far since Monday when I started over. My food plan has been healthy but I am still going over on calories so for me that means "off plan". It hasn't impacted my weight because I am working out. However, today I have decided that I am going to have to eliminate some food items from my meal plan "moving forward". Like others here, what "on plan" means for me does evolve over time. I adjust it when it is no longer meeting the objective that is at hand; which also changes from time to time. Now is that time.
Take care all, Pam