My heart is breaking for you. I can never begin to imagine what you have been going through and how awful that was! Your description is heart wrenching! I can't imagine anyone would ever consider ripping you for your food choices during such a tremendously difficult situation. It is sad to think we can't share our experiences without making others feel judged. I certainly would never wish to contribute to making someone feel that way. My prayers are with you and your family sarahbell.

sarahbell - I think you have faced a life changing event which follows no laws and no rules - you are coping with something most of us can never imagine.

You and your family need to survive - however that is necessary. There are no judges or juries here to examine how anything is handled. What you need and deserve is sympathy, support, understanding and love and I hope that some how you are getting enough of that from here or wherever.

Hang in there, take it one day at a time and use this site as a place to vent, cry, whatever.

sarahbell
facing a tragedy such as you are facing is so far outside the realm of any of the other discussions...

There is a difference between choosing sustenance and choosing OP foods or not.

I live in an area where tornadoes are commonplace. I have seen the destruction all too often. I have never lived that particular tragedy.

In the face of tragedy, we do our best just to get through a day.

Lisa thank you so much for your sweet words. I am still a semi-basket case because I am up here unable to do anything to help

What would be the ideal "comfort" food for me would be an iced coffee. A starbucks Iced Via coffee with a little half and half.........a peaceful place to sit alone and have a cry where no one will see me. I have the IP cappuccino packets and coffee here at home but the taste of the starbucks or McDs iced coffee (just plain no syrup or anything) is comforting for some reason.

I am refraining from making one. Today I had my IP chocolate waffles (made from the pancake packet with added vanilla) and a homemade iced coffee.
Lunch 2 c of steam cauliflower and leek soup and mushed together (the soup was more like a sauce than soup with the veggies)

And I have not snacked on anything yet. I am trying hard as $@** to keep ontrack to counter balance the BBQ beef sand from sunday which was no way low fat or carbs! if I only lose 1/2 a pound this week then so be it. If I gain then so be it. ALl I can do is keep on plugging away for the rest of the weeks to come.

Sad new Sarabell. All the best to you and your family! Do your best everyday, but stuff happens and stress is a major reason why a lot of people overeat.

I'm trying to be 100% as I'm just starting this diet. I understand that people do and will cheat at times. Who knows, that could be me one day. I personally feel like I'm paying all this money, I don't want to cheat if I can help it. You do your best and that is all that should count. We all get there hopefully in the end anyway! One day at a time!

Sarahbell. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Regarding the rest of this thread......to each, his own. Everyone needs to do what's best for ourselves. We each make our own choices and then live with the consequences of them. I'm following the plan 100% (and fully plan to stay that way), but I learned a long time ago what happens when you say "I will never" to anything. Life has a way of making you eat your words.

This is a public forum. Which means that anyone can post here. Even if their opinion or approach to IP is different from mine. Everyone has the right to post and voice their concerns, just as everyone has the right to ignore or not respond. Everyone on here also has the right to some respect. We're all here because we want to lose weight and get healthy. Respect that, while we won't all be coming from the same place, or even heading in the exact same direction, each of us are struggling to reach our goals in the best way we can.

Hugs to all. We're all AWESOME just because we keep trying. Perseverance is the key to success. So let's just all support each other and be proud that we're STILL HERE together.

LIve and let live

Just love this post!!!!

I do think the "Not 100%s" probably need a place to post...and if that is so then so be it. I also think it would make sense to limit that talk to one thread because of what IPNewbie says. Everyone has to come to an easy peace and what they can live with be it 100% ..or some other manifestation of low carb. Also would rather see this as a low carb thread than IP...but that is my personal thought. It's confusing to new people when they read about the Off Plan stuff because there is such varied info from the IP sites, and most other diets the cheats are not as destructive or frowned on by the real philosophy and intent of the formal plan.

What is stated above is something I was pondering today and IPNewbie said it well. The other thing I'd like to add for thought, is about the opportunity to be forming habits for the future...every little thing adds up. Thinking it doesn't matter is how most of us got overweight. And that is the truth. If you disagree....you are not being honest, and it makes sense off plan stuff is OK in your world.

Over the course of a week once maintenance time arrives ...this kind of little stuff could easily mean ...a few glasses of wine or some other thing I've not tasted for a long time for the weekend.....again that's me. At my size....every shred of carrot/beets/avacado/bean and extra glop of sauce or extra ounce of meat I resist out of habits I'm forming now will allow me a piece of chocolate or ice cream...or wine with out eventually allowing unwanted weight to creep back.

This is about two things to me. HABITS and CHOICES.

Not criticizing ANYONE'S choices......but not forming good habits for the future while on this diet.. ...is a formula for failure in the future. The mindset will not be able to discern...but maybe your way of doing this in the past allowed you to be happy...if not successful? Again...it's a choice.

My hand is out to anyone trying not to slide down a slippery slope...but if you really want to go...and 90% means you are OK if eventually this stops working...I can not/will not stop anyone from doing it.

Hang on to your own hat.

Sarahbell, you said it perfectly all you can do is just keep plugging away going forward. Don't beat yourself up over choices you had to make in a difficult situation.

While you didn't lose your own home, you are suffering for your family and the loss of your memories. In some ways I think it was harder on my family and friends to see me go through losing my home than it was on me to go through it. Take care of yourself.

I have been in a diet break for several reasons and therefore do not post a lot anymore. I can see where you come from. It seems a lot of people have difficulty in relating to food in a healthy manner. In a country where fast food is the norm and everything is way too sweet, this may be a real problem. I come from a completely different culture. Cookies and icing on cakes makes me want to run. I hate, hate, hate anything that tastes artificial, especially when it is also sweet. I like fresh foods and hardly ever use anything precooked. While I always had a very hard time loosing weight (I guess I was always slightly hypothyroid), I gained most of my weight due to medical reasons. For me, loosing is the battle, while maintaining is easy. I am not really prone to binge eating with the exception of the PMS days. But that is simply hormones. I therefore do not really need to form habits. I just need to find a way of loosing weight. I could medicate, of course. But just for weight loss?

As such, I realize I may have a more relaxed relationship with food. IP was a tool for me, not a therapy for food addiction. I recognize that many people need the discipline and keeping to this diet 100% is a real accomplishment. But being a slow looser myself, even on a 100% IP diet requires me to make some modification to prevent from going insane. So, what the other poster said above, may be valid in HER case. I could not care less about it. My diet will contain a glass of wine every day, I will not drink black coffee because I hate it. And I will not miss out on (rare) special occasions just because of a diet. Period. The important thing is to still adhere to a calorie limit, to accept potential slower losses and to keep the goal in sight always. Since I apparently have to do this with long stalls between short bursts of weight loss, I have the discipline built in, I think, since I am at this now for two years and the trend is weight/inches down, muscle up.

I try not to post at the moment, because my diet brake involves no calorie counting. Even worse, I do carb cycling (5 days low carb, 2 days high carb). This is because an true IP style diet craters my thyroid hormones over time (talking about diet always being healthy, ha!) and my two days of high carb currently involve living on dark chocolate and frozen yogurt ice cream. I also work out daily, of course. I admit that using this regime, I have not lost on the scale. But, I have not gained either. The carbing up allows me to put on muscle and as a result, I lost 1 cloth size since stopping IP. So, for me, this is mission accomplished until I have time again to focus on dieting. Dieting for me is a full-time effort and there are currently more important issues I need to focus on. In any ways, I am happy to advise people on stuff I experienced, but it is not my job to judge others. Everybody needs to find their own road to sustainable, long-term, weight loss, whether this involves doing it 100%, 90% or whatever percentage I am using. I have quite enjoyed my road so far.

But it is so hard when your dad comes and hugs you and tells you he is ok and tries to put on a brave face when I know inside he is grieving and hurting but wont show it. And once again being so far away yet so close just rips me apart inside. My parents are beyond stressed at this point. They have gone to the house alone to privately grieve and mourn the loss of their home.

My 2 nephews who lived with them are having a hard time adjust and they are still shell shocked. I just want to cry because I can do boo from up here and I cant just drop life here and go there!

ARRRGGGHHHH!!!

I have been on IP since February and throughout that time - I have had several 'indulgence' days - I don't call them cheats because that seems to make it seem seedy and dirty. They were days that - because of a special occasion or event - I choose to go off plan. They even included a couple of week-long vacations -- I know, how crazy is that. After each of my 'indulgence' days - I got right back on IP - I started with my packets the next day, I knew I would see a slow-down but that was expected and, frankly, ok by me.

Since February - I have gone from a size 20 to a size 10/12 -- I've lost a total of 78 pounds. I am a new woman and...I've learned something...that I am in control of what I eat, when I eat, how I eat and I am owning it. Could I have lost the weight faster? -- maybe...but I'm ok with what I've accomplished. No - I'm thrilled with what I have accomplished -- thrilled doesn't even start to describe it.

I say this not to encourage 'indulging' but to recognize that we all have to fight this battle in our own way, with our own weapons and in a manner that we are comfortable with. I don't judge those that find that 100% is the way for them to succeed but I am a little tired of 100% being the badge of IP. The badge is the success and there are several paths to get there. Pick your path - own it and enjoy the ride!!!!

I wish I could LOVE this post!

The reality is that 100% IS the badge of IP. In other words, to be on IP is to follow the protocol set forth by IP. That being said, 100% is not the only way to achieve success on a personalized program that is IP-inspired.

Thoughtful and well-said.