Here are some tips from another thread from 7lbs. . I appreciate them very much, and they will help us here.
"Have you read The Beck Diet Solution? It's not a diet per se -- it doesn't tell you what to eat or how many calories or how many carbs, etc. It's more about how to think in order to lose weight. There's a lot in there about how to remain motivated in the face of temptation.
For me, one of the most effective things I do is tell myself, "I can't have that now, but I can have it another time." The idea of giving up chocolate forever? Horrible. The fact that I may have to give it up today, or this week, but I will have it again? Acceptable. I count calories, so really nothing is off limits forever, you just have to work it in.
My other advice is to plan your food. For me, when I make a plan (either the night before or first thing in the morning), and log it online (I use My Plate), I am able to "forget" about food for the day. I don't have to make any decisions about whether or not to eat something -- I've already decided and committed. So if something comes up -- like I see vanilla whoopie pies at Whole Foods -- I've already decided I'm not having one today."
Thank you, 7lbs. You've been awesome on this thread!
Here are some tips from Mrs.Snark from another thread. Thank you, Mrs.Snark, you've been awesome! I really appreciate your thoughts.!
"If I had waited for actual motivation I still wouldn't have started changing my habits. Motivation comes in fits and starts for me, I can't really rely on it.
For me to "get into the groove" I had to clear my house of all junk and follow a very rigid plan. I knew that I would have more flexibility in the future, when I had established some better habits, but right at the beginning the only thing that kept me from going crazy was a strict plan and no access to junk. And there were some really hard moments where I had my car keys in my hand and the urge to go buy EVERYTHING and EAT IT, so I know I wouldn't have survived those moments if I'd had easy access to junk right at those moments. I even gave my husband my wallet a couple times. It is HARD at first -- seriously, gut-it-out ugly, want to pull out my hair, hard for me.
It did get easier with time, and repetition of good habits. I'm not nearly as rigid as I was in the first couple months, but occasionally I still have to fall back on a very strict plan -- no playing it by ear."
So far, i've made it thru most of my day at work. I am seldom hungry at work and there really are no triggers at work that make me eat. It is always at home. I am at that gut-ugly place that you mentioned, I have taken out food from the house, but it got to the point that I would get in the car and go get it, like this weekend, and drive around while I binged or park in the parking lot like I did at the donut shop as I ate 6 donuts one after another. Its ugly and it is an addiction, i do know that, I've known it for a long time. Hoping I will get to that place I had been before a few years ago where I can just control it, not want it or need it (the binge and release feeling). its a high thats for sure while I am doing it, everything rushes and feels so good, all those happy feelings wash over me and there is nothing else, no wife, no mum, I am just me..then when it is done and over with all the hateful feelings and thoughts bubble to the surface, these are always worse than the reason I binged in the first place. Its a horrible cycle.
I obsessed on them until I could sneak out today and get a bag full.
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This resonates so much with me, that obsessing over food and not being able to think about anything else. Believe me, mainecyn, you are far from alone. I think one of the sucky things about binge eating is that because it's so secretive, you don't know that other people are experiencing the same things you are, possibly even people you know.
Like tyla said, we've all been there, and we're all struggling along with you! I gained 50 pounds in 5 months a few years ago. You're definitely not alone, even if it feels like you are. When you're having a hard time, come back and read this thread. I just joined and already I see how supportive people are. Like Mrs. Snark said, it's going to be so so hard, and some moments are going to feel like ****, but once you get past them you'll be so happy and proud of yourself. You can do it. One day, even one hour, at a time.
You're definitely not alone, even if it feels like you are. When you're having a hard time, come back and read this thread.
i have tried finding help or support locally, even spoke to a co-worker today yet she didn't understand it whatsoever. She associated binging with eating a candy bar, or a bite of cake. I tried explaining that its eating the entire cake, then moving on to the ice cream container, the bag of chips, eating so fast you choke, that you have sores in your mouth the next day from forcing it in or not chewing enough..she looked at me puzzled and said why don't those people just stop over eating? I told her binging in just as much an eating disorder as bulimia, yet you don't vomit. She had an ignorant look on her face. Luckily, we were speaking in the general sense. I have not found anyone yet at work that understands it at all so its difficult to open up.
My husband, in his own words, adores me worships me and cherishes me. He has watched me lose and keep off 80 lbs. as far as he is concerned I have no food issues anymore because I am now "thin" compared to the 242 lbs I used to be. I have tried explaining binging to him as well, he doesn't get it either.
So, I looked for a place like this, thankfully I have found it. I have been a member of online over eaters anonymous..it didn't work for me. I need to totally ban some foods and they tried teaching me that no food is off limits.
I wished I loved myself as much as my husband loves me, to see myself thru his eyes for one day would be a gift. I can't begin to count how many times I have said today is the day, I wont let something so little as food control me. I will eat all healthy foods, learn to be happy within myself, my own skin. My binging is a dirty part of me, a shameful, broken piece of me. Binging is a type of mental issue, as much as depression or anything related to it. A chemical imbalance, and addiction, I learned that from the years before when I saw a therapist.
I have had a good day. I am on guard and out of the hole, to borrow from Mrs. Snark. The scale was not kind, but I know it will come down. I went for a good, gentle run this morning and planned my food. It was tempting to restrict, especially since I still felt full when I woke up but I know that is not the best thing for me. I will go to bed early tonight since I slept poorly last night.
Congratulations to everyone making progress -- your success is inspiring!
Excellent advice from 7lbs! I really liked the idea of telling yourself that you can't have something right now versus never being able to have something.
Day #5 and I went 29 calories over my planned amount of calories for today ,but I don't feel like a failure. I decided if it is less than 30 I won't count it as being an off plan day which I am feeling really good about because I didn't get completely discouraged by the slight overage. I think it will help me to build resiliency for times I need to pick myself back up and get back on plan after an off plan meal or day if I am careful about the perspective I chose take on these small deviations from my food plan.
Mrs. Snark's process of using a very strict food plan initially is proving to be very helpful for me as well. It helps me feel like I am really taking charge of controlling what and how much I eat which is a great feeling! I'm very excited that in just 2 more days I will be able to say I went an entire week without overeating!
I fell off the wagon yesterday. My day started out strong, but many upsetting things happened and I turned in to food for comfort. I ate until I felt sick
I did not weigh in this morning because I know it would upset me.
Now it remains to be seen if I can cut this cycle, and when?
Wow, it felt good to write that one out. -- Thanks ladies for being here!!!
I made it thru one full day. I hadn't planned on eating after dinner and admit I did but didn't binge I also didn't eat candy or cake or ice cream, things I shouldn't. This thread was on my mind all day
Sending you lots of hugs Sum, today is a fresh, beautiful day and you can eat really healthy and be gentle with yourself since you had such a rough day yesterday!
Mak - you are doing great, a whole week is totally within your grasp! Keep up the GREAT work!
nlauah - Congrats on a fabulous weekend, I just know it felt good to wake up Monday morning and not be thinking "I have to start over again" and instead be feeling GREAT about how you took care of yourself over the weekend (and we all know how hard weekends are!).
mainecyn - For me, I have to work hard at not assigning such feelings as "dirty" and "shameful" to myself, those feelings really drag me down (into more binging of course). Oddly, I think of my binge eating disorder the same way as I think of my cancer, both are terrible and can do great damage to my health and my emotional well being. But I'm not ashamed I've had cancer, it isn't dirty, and it doesn't make me a bad, weak person. Same with this eating disorder. It was just my luck of the draw to get a binge disorder, and now I have to learn to manage it -- that is where my responsibility to myself is. To accept I have this terrible thing and then do my best to minimize its impact on my health and happiness.
Does that make sense?
Edited to add: my husband knows I have this problem, so maybe that makes it a bit easier for me in many ways. I mean, I don't share this stuff with just anyone (just ya'll, and mostly anonymously (I hope) on my blog, and my mother and my husband) because many people WILL NOT understand and will simply think it should be EASY for me not to binge eat. But that is on them, they don't understand, and we do. Have you ever thought of tell your husband about your struggles? It helps me that my husband knows about it and loves me anyway, he doesn't think bad of me, nor does my mom.
I made it thru one full day. I hadn't planned on eating after dinner and admit I did but didn't binge I also didn't eat candy or cake or ice cream, things I shouldn't. This thread was on my mind all day
Sum38, . Dust yourself off and start with a clean slate. I found this quote -- maybe from someone on this thread? Maybe in the "inspirational quotes" thread stickied on this board? -- and I love it in so many ways:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." - emerson
Mainecyn, great job! One day lays your foundation -- now you can build on it!
Mak78, good idea not to sweat a few calories. Calorie-counting is an inexact science as it is, no sense beating yourself up over an insignificant few. You're closing in on a week -- awesome!
Nlauah, way to go on the clean weekend!
Ggbsy, I'm going to start using that Dr. Phil quote. I have an actual 4-year-old in my life -- I don't need to be one as well!
Tyla, I hope teaching went well yesterday!
Mrs Snark, I tried your body-weight circuit on Sunday. Only two go-rounds. I was a little sore yesterday. Today -- OUCH! I'm so glad I learned from your pain and stopped at two -- three would be seriously painful!
I have my challenge cut out for me today. My son woke up in the middle of the night with croup, so I need to stay home with him today. Normally, I try to run errands or take him somewhere fun b/c he doesn't have preschool on Tuesday -- being out and about helps a lot. It's hard to be home all day with the food so accessible.
to anyone I've missed -- have a great day everyone!
Today is going to be another great day! Believe that good things will happen, and they will. I'm so proud of everyone here, trying their best to make this a fantastic October!!
My class went ok last night. It was a different group. One person was kinda difficult, interrupting my teachings several times and disagreeing with everyone. Let's face it - it was a challenge, but I got through it. In spite of it all, I've been doing great with my eating and exercising. I need to prove to myself that I can get through challenges. I never knew why I overate before. Now I get it. Rather than fight back with people, I would punish myself by overeating. I can't do that anymore. My health is too important. Oh, by the way, the rest of the students asked me when I'm teaching again, because they learned so much and had a good time.
Sum38, Sorry you had a little blip, but that's all it was. You did a wonderful job in staying strong for many days. Decide what you are going to do instead of eating the next time you are faced with challenges. I have to get away from the food area to a safe place. Either go out for a walk to blow off some steam and get endorphins, or do something nice for yourself. Drive to a store and buy nail polish or flowers (whatever you like.) Or if you're at work, take a break. Go to the bathroom and fix your hair. I have to have alternatives to break the usual habit. Just a suggestion.
Mainecyn, congratulations!! Now you're back, baby!! Keep the streak going. We're rooting for you!
Mak78, almost a week! Way to go! Keep up the great work! I'm so excited for you!!
Nlauah, so glad you're sticking to it! Weekends are hard, but you're doing it. We're in this together.
Ggbsy, congrats on doing so well this month. Keep up the great work!
Mrs Snark, thank you for your great tips. We're all listening and paying attention. You're an inspiration!
7lbs, sorry about your son being sick. My thoughts are with you today. I know you will do well! You're my inspiration, too!
but I know that is not the best thing for me. I will go to bed early tonight since I slept poorly last night.
. Dust yourself off and start with a clean slate. I found this quote -- maybe from someone on this thread? Maybe in the "inspirational quotes" thread stickied on this board? -- and I love it in so many ways:
to anyone I've missed -- have a great day everyone!
