I have tried to stay positive, and tried to keep smiling even when I want to just break down and cry. The smallest things make my eyes water, and I hold in the tears because I know that if I start to cry, that will be it.

I feel so incredibly lonely, even though my fiance loves me to death and is honestly lost on how to make things better. I am a full-time student, and while that does take up a small amount of time, I am at a loss. A part of me feels empty and hollow at times.

I sit for hours with no one to talk to, no one is ever around. Family is always busy (my new family) and my family back home is always busy and out of reach. Its been a little over a year since I have left my life on the East Coast behind to move out here to Nevada, and some months are just unbearable.

As you can see, I have managed to lose some weight, but I regained 2.5 pounds back, and am struggling just to get back into the swing of things. It drives me crazy because its like, I know I have to do this, but I can't seem to find the energy, and when I finally do Aunt Flo decides to be a real wench, and keep up for 3 weeks now! Its driving me crazy, and the cravings that come with prolonged visits are hard to ignore, along side the loneliness.

Sorry to ramble, and sound half insane, which I feel like I am going at times. I just, I have no one to talk to! I don't have insurance, and I don't honestly want to go back on medication as the last round of meds made me go into a zombie like state where I had no emotions. Given, I lost weight, and was a bit healthier on the physically appearance side, I was lost inside.

I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time right now!

I have a couple of ideas. On the loneliness front, does your school have any groups or activities that you could participate in as a way of meeting other people in the area and building a social network? If they don't you could try MeetUp and see if there are any groups in your area that sound half way interesting. You could also try to find a volunteer position somewhere. Even if you don't meet anyone that you end up being friends with, it would help fill your time.

I know you said you don't have health insurance, but it sounds like there might be something going on. If I had my period for 3 weeks at a time I would give my doctor a call to see if it was something I should come in and see her about.

Also even if you don't want to go back on medication, you may still find it helpful to try seeing a therapist. Just having someone who will listen and talk through your problems can make a world of difference and they may have ideas about coping strategies or where the best places to meet new people are in your area.

Hang in there!

I don't have advice except to say that I have been there and it does get better.

I am sending you big hugs.

You are not alone. We are all here to support you.

Thanks. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and possibly endometriosis (they never fully explored that...) so this can be pretty normal. I had experienced two flows that were almost non-existent which had made me think I was pregnant, but wasn't.

I am trying to find a food pantry to volunteer at. I think it would be good to work there and help out.

Thanks for the replies.

Hi Heather, I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much right now. Just know that there are people who care. Sending good thoughts your way.

Hi, Heather. Sorry things are rough for you right now. It sounds like you're accomplishing a lot, despite everything you've got going on. I hope you're able to find a place to volunteer; having something like that can be really helpful.

Is there any place you can go walking? Going for a short walk can lift one's mood and kills some time. I don't know if it would address the problems you're having at all, but I've found David Burns' book Feeling Good to be very helpful in dealing with emotional issues.

Heather, you may not need meds but it does sound like you need someone to talk to. When we can't express ourselves (and we can't always do that with a significant other; that's why friends are great), we try to bury our feelings and just cope and that can do a whole lot more harm than good. It can get to be too overwhelming. You said you are a student. I think most if not all colleges offer counseling and psychological services. It's something you might want to look into. Just to be able to talk about the things that are going on in your life can be so helpful, and it would be confidential. Also, I don't know how it is in Nevada but maybe you can get free or inexpensive healthcare coverage through your college. I know that's available to college students here in Ohio. I wish you the best!

I volunteer at the local animal shelter. Even though the critters don't talk, it really lifts my spirits walking the pups and cuddling with the kitties! I am sure your local shelter would love having you help out!