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Originally Posted by mimsyborogoves
And then I feel like I'm just overreacting and I should be able to handle everything I have to do because everyone else has things they have to do and they seem to handle it fine.
How does it help you to compare yourself to others, especially when you don't know what their lives are really like?
You didn't really ask for advice, but if you want the advice of a person who finished grad school pretty recently, here it is:
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Whenever I'm not working, I have to do school work.
School will eat your life if you let it. Don't let it. The trick is in learning how to prioritize, learning to manage your time and workload efficiently, and learning how to accurately judge when you need to be "perfect" and when it's okay to just be "good enough." It's the only way to stay sane and get things done.
Compared to other fields requiring an advanced degree, librarianship offers relatively little in the way of long-term career security, starting pay, or prestige. Talk to your advisor, professors, and people doing the type of work you want to do about what it takes to get that first professional job. Focus on doing those. Don't waste time and energy "overperforming" on activities that aren't going to help you build relevant skill sets and a solid resume.
If less important things don't get done right away, that's okay. You're still on track. If trying to lose those last three pounds is really stressing you out, maybe you could consider focusing on maintaining the weight you've already lost until you have more time. Three pounds isn't much in the greater scheme of things. Similarly, how clean does your apartment really need to be? Seriously. If you're doing your schoolwork at the library anyway, why not do the absolute minimum needed to keep the place sanitary and not outright gross while classes are in session and do a deep clean during a holiday break? If your roommate gets annoyed at the state of the apartment, let her do the extra work. If there's so much wrong with the apartment that you're having to spend a lot of time dealing with it, refer the issues to the owner or property manager - it's their responsibility to deal with that stuff.
2. Like
Mozzy said, work on your time management techniques. Once you have a structure in place that works for you, you'll probably feel a lot less stressed. Just try not to overschedule yourself.
3. If you haven't already learned how to read secondary sources efficiently, try to develop those skills. It will save you time.
4. I think it's really great that you've made it a priority to exercise 3x a week. I think at least one of the gyms on your campus has pretty extensive hours - could you go to campus early or stay late to get a workout in? Or bring a pair of running shoes and go jogging around campus after work (if you feel safe)?
5. Not being able to visit family can be hard. Would scheduling regular Skype sessions or something like that with them help you feel less disconnected from them? Just out of curiosity, have you ever really lived away from your family before?
6. If participating in a student organization is a priority for you, schedule time for it. Pick an upcoming event or two that you think won't conflict with higher priority things (like assignment deadlines), and schedule your other high-priority activities around it. If the org is one that is affiliated with a professional organization (even if its activities are mostly social in nature), the contacts you make with other students, involved faculty, and professionals in the field might help you out in ways you can't foresee. If nothing else, you're developing relationships with your future colleagues and learning how to network. Besides, social events hosted by student orgs can be a good way to de-stress (or at least share your misery). Also, a lot of club members don't attend every function of grad school clubs, in my experience. There usually seems to be a small core group of club officers and people who are super motivated (and who usually have few other demands on their time outside of school), along with the occasional person who can't say "no" and gets roped into working on everything. Most people just show up to one or two events. Nobody will think poorly of you if they don't see you until the end-of-semester party - they all know what grad school is like and that other people might not have the same amount of free time or the same priorities as they do.
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I feel guilty every time I do something that's not work or school or productive. There's so much stuff to be done.
There's always stuff to be done, and taking care of yourself is one of them. Pick a time during the week that's "yours," during which you just relax and do what you want to do. No schoolwork, no chores, no nothing. It'll help your productivity and your state of mind.
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And I feel like everything always gets piled on me. And I'm responsible for everything. And no one is here to help me, tlak to me, or anything. I have to do EVERYTHING by myself.
What is it precisely that's bothering you? Is it just the independent and more rigorous nature of graduate work, which it takes some people time to get used to? Are there things about your job or courses that you don't like? Are people asking you to do things you just don't have time for?
There you go. A big helping of unsolicited advice, and worth every penny you paid for it.
But seriously, you have accomplished a lot already by losing weight, earning your BA, and enrolling in grad school. You're a problem solver and a tough cookie. If grad school is where you want to be, I am sure that you will be able to figure out how to make it work.