Quote:
Originally Posted by Monkeysmom
... I had no idea how cruel (unintended or not) people's reaction to the "current" me could be. WHEN DID IT BECOME OK TO MAKE FACES AND COMMENT ON PEOPLE'S WEIGHT GAIN?? And its not like its out of health concern, but more about aesthetics ("WOW, you've really put on a lot of weight there, what happened??") From no less than 4 people in 3 days I barely made it home before I started sobbing in my car in the garage. Its not a question of IF I can lose the weight, but when. I've done this before but its just the time in between that really sucks. "Sticks and stones" and all that maybe, but it still hurts like ****.
People can be really insensitive and callous sometimes. I've struggled with my weight for many years (I'm starting to admit that it's related to unresolved emotional issues; maybe one of these days I'll get a grip for good) and my weight fluctuates a lot. I have clothes that range between size 6 and size 14 because I lose and gain the same 50 pounds over and over. When I realize I'm running out of space (I'm in a size 14 and it's snug), I go back to the gym and work out until I get back down to as close to size 6 as I can (I know; unhealthy). In those modes, though, people always say horrible things -- especially people who are family. Sometimes, it isn't the words, but the condescending sneer or that look of disgust that people give you that really drives home the painfulness of objectification. It undermines resolve, sometimes. It is hurtful.
BUT, you are making an effort to do something about your situation, which means that it will change, and those people are stuck being jerk-faces. It can be so hard to stay positive when the struggle itself is so painful and the people who are supportive just seem to tear you down. Just hang in there. You're not alone in having experienced it and, though it sucks, you won't have to deal with it forever.
I hope you find a way to treat yourself to something that makes you happy to counter that negativity -- a bubble bath or an hour of reading or watching TV or a walk in a park you like. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Those people are just gross.