I need to vent and get support somewhere after my family (my parents) have been verbally abusing me the past 3 days about my weight gain. So here goes my vent...
I just moved back to the east coast this past Saturday. I was living and enjoying my life on the west coast for the past 2 years, but moved back to the east coast due to my family's emotional neediness. I'm temporarily staying with my parents just for this week while my shipment/furniture for my condo gets delivered this Friday. I'm a single, 35 year old woman with no kids and I am of South Asian heritage.
My parents have been getting on my case (several times a day) about my weight gain. My dad is the "mean one" while my mom just nags and nags and nags about the same thing.
I told them I am aware of the fact that I have a weight problem (I'm 180lbs right now and wear size 16/18 pants....back in 2008 I was 145lbs...so yeah, I know I have weight to lose) and that I plan to do this program called Ideal Protein as soon as I move back into my condo later this week. I'm NOT pigging out or anything. They just want me to get on the treadmil or elipitical machine for 30 minutes. The first day I was back, they took me to the park and we went for a 30 minute walk. I know what they were doing and I figured I'd go with it JUST to get them off my back.
They treat me like I'm 300lbs and need to be on the TV show Extreme Weight Loss! I believe they treat me like I'm 300lbs because, by South Asian standards, I am regarded as someone who is THAT heavy. South Asians (and possibly ALL Asian cultures) are very judgmental towards overweight people.
I'm one of those people that shuts down when a person nags to me about my weight gain. It doesn't motivate me at all. In fact, it hinders me to the point where I think to myself "Well what's the point?" I don't need negative messages/comments.
I know they are concerned. I overheard them talking in the living room tonight (they didn't think I could hear them since I was in another room). My parents said how they are shocked that I'm not ashamed of the way that I look and that most women my age would go to the gym everyday and make it a top priority to stay slim....that they don't know how the **** I'm going to get married since I'm fat....my mom asked my dad if I could have a thyroid problem, but dad said no...that I'm just lazy....that I don't move around.
I'm going to move back to my condo either 4th of July or this Friday at the latest. I can't deal with their verbal abuse. Logically, I understand they are coming from a place of concern. But how they deliver their message is very harsh and does more harm than good. For example, last night they told me how they know Indian people in the community gossip about them because I'm unmarried and fat. I told my parents that they should tell those people to mind their own business.
*sigh* I knew it was a mistake moving back to the east coast. Maybe I'll just stay at my condo starting tomorrow night regardless of the fact that my shipment hasn't arrived yet from the west coast.
My parents said they are telling me all these (harsh) things because no one else will tell me (i.e., friends). I told them that I realize that none of my friends will tell me I'm fat to my face, but that I am aware that I've gained weight and I plan to do something about it very soon. In the meantime, I'm not eating any fast food, no soda, or anything "bad". They just keep on hounding me about the same thing everyday....several times a day.
It's ironic....on one hand they get on my case about my weight gain, which makes feel like crap....yet on the other hand, they get on my case about getting married....it's like...WTF? First you hound me and make me like the ugliest woman in the world and THEN you expect me to have the confidence to find a man to get married to? ARGH!
I'm 180lbs. On Ideal Protein (IP), you lose 8 to 10lbs per month. At this point, I'll be happy being 148lbs, which was the weight I was at my brother's wedding back in November 2008. IP is a low carb, high protein diet that you are only supposed to do for a short amount of time. I did it for 3 weeks while I was living in Seattle, and dropped 8lbs easily in those 3 weeks. I KNOW that if I stick with it, I will lose the weight. Also, in IP, they tell you NOT to exercise for at least the first 3 weeks due to it being a low calorie diet (i.e., less than 1000 calories a day in the beginning of the program).
Anyway, my parents are making me feel worthless and I told them that I wish I had just stayed in Seattle because I hate living with them. Yes, I got into a fight with them. I felt like I was 13 years old rather than 35 years old when fighting with them. They really bring me down instead build me up. I thought parents were to support their children and NOT tear them apart?
I've told my parents that they are being abusive and that they keep on telling me the same damn thing every day for several times a day.....they say that they keep on telling me the same thing because I don't seem to be concern that I've gained so much weight and that it looks like I'm not doing anything about it.
I can't win. No wonder I loved my live in Seattle. I had mental peace living there.
I just need someone to share their personal story...or success story...or just any story because after 4 days of their verbal abuse, I'm in tears.
And to think that I moved back JUST for them...only to have them verbally abuse me. Such selfish people!