I just need to put this somewhere. I am upset and frustrated because my dad is in a horrible life situation, but he created himself and I can't fix it.
Basically, my mom and dad had me young, like 19. But when I was 11 they seperated. He went to live with his mom (he work a labor job) and never bettered his life. Never went back to school, and got caught up in other stuff.
Over the years as I got older, I would try to talk to him about setting up a better life for himself, so as he got older he wouldn't be stuck. He was cutting lawns for money. For the past idk, 8 years its been him and one other guy. He remarried several years back but his new wife doesn't work, she used to but they said they need her home to do the paper work of the business. But even running their own business, they are living paycheck to paycheck. I don't know anything about their finances, unless the sh!t is about to hit the fan, then my dad will say something. Like last year he started telling me how he might be going to jail for not paying taxes...and that blew over...apparently he worked it out...The way he describes things (when he does) it like they are a few dollars away from being in the street...and for many years its had me sick.
I've been telling him for years that if something ever happens to his one guy or him, he's not going to have an income, and from what I'm told they have no money ever..idk where the heck it goes...THAT'S none of my business, but when my dad's finances are crapping out big time, he tells me....
Maybe I shoud add mid-story, he has probably given me a total of $200 my entire life, while I gave him a couple thousand a few years ago for a minor surgery he needed because he has not health insurance. He did not contribute at all to my college education or my wedding, never bought anything significant for any of my kids (like a bike or crib or whatnot).
So his one guy was in a car accident the other day. Which is aweful, the guy was really nice, and we've known him for years. I'm really upset because he's in very critical condition, and he's not coming back anytime soon and depending on long term injuries, he may not come back ever. My dad is freaking out that he tried to do the day by himself, but he physicially can't. My dad's in his mid 50s, and in bad physicial shape, and the other guy (in his late 20s) did most of the hard labor, he really helped my dad.
So now my dad is trying to find another guy, and he got a few no shows off craigslist. He's telling me if he doesn't get a guy by Monday he's going out of business...I told him, I doubt all his customers would just leave after one missed week of a lawn mowing. He's had them for years, I told him tell them that Dan (his partener) was in an accident and is in critical condition. I said tell them that you will need a week or two to get a new guy. I told my dad, most of your customers will understand. This is a small business, my dad is very close with most of his customers, its a very mom and pop business...and he told me, most of them if he misses a week will leave him regardless of the reason...like he just assumes the worse...
Ugh, so my husband is off tomorrow, and I called to ask my dad about visiting with the kids, as he only has us over on Sundays. And he says he's too worked up about all of this to have us over, so I said, Ok I'll check back with you next week...and he says "I'm going to call you tomorrow, to get some information from you, and use you for some resources, etc" and I said, " well, M (my hubby) is off, and we are going to be doing some stuff around the house and we have to head out, I'm not going to be around to talk."....I know its mean but when these problems hit, he wants me to drop everything an help him, meanwhile he DOES NOT do that for us!! At all!! I had one time several years ago that I was vomiting all night, and I called him in the morning and asked him to sit with the kids so I could go to the ER and get som zofran and fluids (I'm a nurse) and he told me "no, you'll have to bring the kids with you"...seriously he will not inconveince himself for me at all, never has, but when I basically said I'm not going to help him out of this mess, I could hear he was a little upset...I've always dropped everything to help him and I'm just done with it...I think what pushed me over the edge was when I had two miscarriages last year, and didn't tell him right away. I told him after this pregnancy was around 11 weeks, when I was more sure I was not going to miscarry again, and his response was "I'm playing head games with him"..not i'm sorry, no sympathy, it was all about him....
Sorry so long I just needed to get this out somewhere...I really wish I had a parent that could parent me, and not one that I feel like needs me to rescue them...I know I'm an adult, but I've never had the parent rescue me...it sucks
Small pitty party...will be over soon