How cool that you two are doing this together! Great support system
My hubby has cupboards filled with candy and junk food, and eats pizza in front of me so I can really appreciate your spouse dieting with you!
Mommy -- I've got a 7 month old and a 6 yr old. It is exhausting, but I've been managing to fit in a workout almost everyday. I tried just calorie counting, but nothing really happened for me. So I started running. It was horrible at first (I HATED running). I would just do a few minutes at a time and walk the rest. Now I'm running a 5K in 1/2 hour. Since I started running, the weight has been melting off.
If you can find something that is really cardio for you, I would suggest fitting it in when you can. I completely understand the lack of sleep (I am getting about 5 hours of sleep a night, interrupted. Yay!) Sometimes I pawn the oldest one off on daddy and I nap with the baby. Of course, then that night I run after the baby goes to sleep. Otherwise I try to run when the baby is napping. When it isn't so hot I run outside with the baby in the stroller and then she is occupied while I exercise.
Although I would love some nice rest time in between working, cooking, cleaning, parenting, wifing, etc...I decided for me, I wanted to not be fat anymore more than rest time. So I bought a treadmill and I fit it in when I can, even if all I really want to do is go collapse into bed, lol. I literally run sometimes at 11 at night just to fit it in. Not that I am saying you should do this -- just no matter what you try to do, you are not alone!