Alright guys...I left the proana community, x-ed contact with triggering girls I met on there and deleted my calorie counter app. I've also hidden my scale.
Today I was really tuned in with my body and snacked less. I had a pre-work out cookie (:P) and then after about 12 minutes of yoga (I'm a wuss) I found hunger beginning. So I just had a boiled egg and coffee. I should have had more because 3 hours later I was so hungry that I couldn't even focus. So I went to olive garden and tried one of their diet dishes (Yeah I know but breadsticks AND I had a dessert
and I felt satisfied. I never experienced pure satisfaction for a long time. Usually I'm thinking about my next meal but I was so content.
A few hours later I snacked on 2 el fudge cookies and at night some watermelon. Thats it. I could have done without the cookies and watermelon but it's ok.
I have a question about drinks. In my diet world you DO NOT drink your calories unless it's a protein shake. So I miss my whole milk, hot cocoa, creamy coffees, juice, etc. How do I get over the guilt of drinking a glass of caloric beverage?
i find at night I tend to binge on things looking to satisfy my sweet tooth. Before my ED and diets I'd just have a glass or two of juice and be done. I miss it, but I can't help but think "Oh god..I just drank like 100-200 calories" x_x diet police..