I love that I lost weight, I want to lose more weight, I love celebrating milestones and NSVs. I love celebrating all of YOUR NSVs here.
But today, I got sad with things that should be exciting for me.
Today I was looking for a short sleeve shirt to wear with my workout pants to go for a walk outside. Since it's warm out, I am more conscious of the clothes I wear since it's likely I'll run into a neighbor to chat. Usually I just throw on whatever shirt is in my workout pile on the shelf in the closet.
So I pick out a black top with sparkly rhinestones, it's been my favorite top for the last 2 summers so I figured today would be a great day to wear it. A little bling with my walk! And that's when I wanted to cry. This shirt was SO big, I could have put on a pair of black tights and worn it as a dress. I used to wear it with everything and it fit perfectly (?!). That's when I reminded myself that I lost 130lbs since I wore it last. And I still wore it one last time, for old time's sake. I'm washing it and putting it in the donate pile. I hope someone loves this top as much as I did.
So then...the other day I tried on 2 size 18 jean skirts I have and used to wear every weekend when I was thinner. These skirts are so big now! My body definitely lost weight differently this time. I think I was in the 180s or 190s the last time I wore these. So I washed and dried these 2 skirts trying to shrink them (who does that?!). Tried them on again this afternoon, still way too big. I can turn them fully around on my waist without unbuttoning them, that's how big they are. I had some of the best nights of my life in these skirts as a newlywed going out with friends and my husband! I loved getting married and being able to say I had a husband and these skirts remind me of those young, newly married times. But into the donation bin they go. I secretly hope a newlywed finds them at the Goodwill and enjoys the heck out of them too! Of course I'll never know.
I have no intentions to gain any weight back just to enjoy my nostalgic clothes but I'm feeling so emotional about donating these clothes.
I'm on the prowl for onederland tomorrow (yes, again) but even if I don't get it, there are so many more measurements showing me my success. Trying so hard not to worry about the value I put on the scale and the pressure on myself to make 199 happen.