Sit down. Take a load off. Open your heart and know that you are not alone in your journey.
This morning I went to my first pilates class. It was challenging. In fact, any body works class is challenging for me. "A body works workout routine focuses on using your own body weight to exercise." http://www.livestrong.com/article/127620-body-works-workout-routine/#ixzz2Qq6bySX7
When I take a zumba class or another aerobic type of class, I'm more focused on my coordination and/or cardiovascular strength. However, classes focused on the body (yoga, pilates, barre, tai chi, maybe belly dancing)- I struggle. I struggle physically, but I practically fail emotionally.
It's hard for me to not to focus on everyone who is smaller then me in the class (no, literally...I was definitely the biggest most out of shape person in attendance). I battle with being disappointed in my body- and then switching to be disappointed in myself for neglecting my body for so long. I feel inferior when I can't do the exercises (as if anyone is really paying attention to me.)
At the beginning of the class I was doing pretty well. I was focused on loving and honoring my body. I kept telling myself the both my body and I deserved this. But by the end of the 1 hour class, I was pretty drained emotionally.
I was pretty surprised when the instructor made a point to find me in the locker room after class. I expressed to her some of my struggles and was quite tearful. I told her that I hated my body (which I then regretted later.) She gave me hug and told me that she would love to work with me. I thought that was really wonderful. I'm going to take her barre class on Saturday.
Has anyone else tried to regularly work at repairing their mind-body connection? Did anyone else struggle? Is part of your wellness plan to focus on that relationship with self?