Engaged, fat, and terrified for the pictures to come

  • Hiya, everyone! I found this community and I'm happy I did because good lordy, am I in some trouble!

    I'm 25 years old, 250lbs and 5ft 6in. I have always been on the curvy side, but ever since I started working full time at a desk (with four hours of driving in my daily commute), I've gone from curvy to downright sloppy. I've gained thirty pounds within a year from the sudden lack of exercise and the office food (you know how that goes - does everyone seriously bake cupcakes this often? REALLY?!)

    I kept lying to myself, telling myself that I wasn't gaining weight that badly, I looked totally proportionate...until I saw a picture of myself at a party. I cried and couldn't believe how awful I looked (and furthermore, that my best friends didn't tell me!). I have the picture saved to my phone to look at occasionally, which I always assume will motivate me, but instead just keeps the depression rolling along.

    I just got engaged two weeks ago (to a guy who is half my weight, mind you!) and we set the date for October of next year. I refuse to look like this for pictures, parties, and memories. This is not who I am and I will be damned if anyone thinks this is what I look like!

    I don't know where to begin, how to start working on this. I am so exhausted by the time I get home that I bail out of every activity I always plan to do. I know it sounds whiny and I know I should just suck it up and deal, but it's really a terrible circle I'm stuck in. How do I get that motivation switch turned back on? I need to lose at least 100lbs by next year, and I know that's not a necessarily impossible feat. It's just getting the gears turning again...any help? Thank you for everything you ladies do!


  • My advice would be to start keeping track of every bit of food that goes in your mouth. I use fitday, others use myfitnesspal.com. Knowing what you're eating and how much your eating can help you to see where you need to make changes in your diet.

    You can do this!
  • Welcome!! We are happy to have you here. This site offers so much support and wonderful tips.

    Weightloss is 80% what your eat, 20% movement; so you can really get yourself going by watching what you eat. Myfitnesspal.com also has smart phone app that works well during workdays etc. You can do it!!

    Good luck and congrats on your engagement!!!
  • Welcome!! I'm new here too and I am/was in the same position in regards to not knowing what to do. I joined weight watchers and it helped me figure out what to do. Basically I needed someone to tell me exactly what and how to do it. I haven't started exercising yet, but I figure that will come in time.

    If you decide to go that route I would suggest downloading an app on your phone (if you have a smart phone). I always forget to write things down when I track my points with pen and paper, but I just got a new app that is basically geared towards weight watchers called Ultimate Value Diary. It was $3.99, but worth every penny in my opinion.

    Good luck in your weight loss!
  • Hello Capitan!

    Congratulations on your engagement! I'm also new to the forums, but not to weight loss. I am in a similar situation as you regarding the coworkers who continually bring in baked goods, the long commute, etc. I hope some of what I've learned on my journey is helpful to you:

    - Starting is the hardest part. I found that once I did anything it was easier to really get started. Go for a walk after dinner tonight, sign up for a 2 week gym visitor pass, anything... the rest will get easier from there.

    - The first two weeks stink -- but once you get past them, you'll already start to feel better, have more energy, and very likely feel less depressed.

    - For me, the two hardest things in the first two weeks were motivation to get moving and will power to ignore coworkers' treats. Luckily, I had good motivation to get my butt to the gym and my coworkers were astute enough to stop offering me their donuts, cupcakes, etc. when I consistently began to say no thanks. My personal gym motivation was twofold: I'm in a friend's wedding this summer and refuse to be "the fat bridesmaid"; my mother was diagnosed with a type of cancer where obesity is a risk factor and I refuse to follow her path to obesity.

    - I live in a city where I will literally sit in traffic for hours. I've begun keeping light 3 pound weights in my car and will do some curls if I'm going to be stuck for awhile (soup cans will work if you don't have light weights). Yes, I get funny looks sometimes; but if I'm going to be sitting there for awhile I may as well get something out of it, right? Especially because there is nothing like a two hour commute to make you too tired for exercise when you get home.

    - My husband is fairly fit, but wants to lose about 10 pounds. I've convinced him to go walking with me after dinner, which is not only helping us get fit but also giving us more quality time together. It is lovely :-)

    - You will slip up sometimes -- you will skip the gym, eat a cookie, whatever. That is ok. Just remember that no one is perfect and tomorrow is a new day.

    - And lastly and most importantly... it almost sounds like you do something I used to do a lot when I'd see myself in the mirror or a photo. Don't be so hard on yourself! Don't let a photo depress you. Let it inspire you. I used to say really mean things to myself, thinking it would motivate me, but all it did was convince me that I'd always be overweight. That is super counterproductive and trust me when I say that it is a hard habit to break -- so don't form it now!

    Wishing you lots of luck and hope to hear more about your journey soon.

    -C
  • Dear Capitan, WELCOME and congrats on your engagement!!!

    Frankly, I think your goal is totally attainable. You have more than a year and you've got the best reason on the planet to turn down office snacks going forward.

    Besides, take it from me, it's far better to get it together now and change your lifestyle habits while you're still in your 20s. Trust me, it's not going to get any easier as you get older (and especially if you want to have kids).

    I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell my husband (but he doesn't listen *sigh*) exercise is one of those things that actually boosts your energy levels (eventually, takes a week or two to get used to it), but you have to find a time to fit it in, whether that means leaving earlier and going before work, during your lunch break or on your way home from work (maybe if you find a place near your job? Who knows, if you hit the road later the traffic might be lighter?). And honestly, exercise alone isn't going to make you lose weight. Losing weight is about eating and drinking consciously. Just as the pounds crept on by your making small daily changes (less activity, a few extra snacks here and there) you'll also lose the weight by making small, consistent changes that you can maintain.

    And just my opinion but think about posting a picture of yourself that you like from when you were thin next to the overweight picture you don't like. Beating yourself up isn't going to help you accomplish anything over the long haul.

    Good luck!
  • Congratulations on your engagement!!

    Secondly - I know you'd like to lose 100 lbs by the wedding, but so what if you don't. What if you lose 70 or 50? You'll still feel so much better about yourself. However, 100lbs is attainable. In 17 months that's about 6lbs a month.

    Sedentary lifestyle will make you feel blah... Like cdubs and renew me have said, exercise WILL give you more energy. Just not those first couple of weeks. You'll just have to power through it.

    As for the cupcake baking colleagues. Tell them you're on a wedding diet. Only the most passive-aggressive saboteur will still offer you treats after that. And it's good to know who those people are in an office environment.
  • I totally get where you are coming from. I was always a little on the curvy side...being 20-30 lbs overweight never bother me much. And then it turned into 40, 50, 100, 150. And I kept telling myself that it was proportionate until I saw a picture of myself in full profile that was taken over the weekend. I've never been so horrified. I am a mess. My husband weighs quite a bit less than me too now and it's made me very uncomfortable. I know he loves me no matter what, but I don't love myself very much right now. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and congratulations on the engagement!
  • To get around the time issue of preparing breakfasts and lunches during the week, as well as attempting to avoid the pitfalls of the workplace "cupcake factor", I prepare a week's worth of pre-packaged breakfasts and lunches on Sun. night. It's nothing fancy, but you can see exactly what I do in my blog post here: http://43goingondead.blogspot.com/20...-of-trade.html
  • Welcome!

    I agree with having "approved" foods (on whatever plan you're using) available to eat. That way, instead of sitting there feeling resentful, you can snack on your carrot sticks or whatever Also, don't be afraid to ask if those can be move into a different room or a different part of the room. You're probably not the only one who doesn't want them sitting there all day!
  • I could cry from all the wonderful tips and support you ladies have given me. Thank you a thousand times! It's a pleasure meeting you all and helpin give me the motivation I need. Cheers and best luck to all of you as well
  • Welcome and good luck on your journey!!