TRISH ~ the best thing you can do for your DAD is to be there to just LISTEN -- and as a support to lean on for the tuffest days. He may have no intention of putting her into a home until he can't bear it anymore (that's my plan too); and trust me, there have been some extemely difficult days like that for us here already.
Yes, he may just need to vent a bit, but not wish to talk in front of her family; as he may not want them to be hurt by that or think he is putting her down. My DH's family kept saying things like "well, he can't help it" ... well, I KNOW THAT! I was just sharing our day with them, but they took it the wrong way (becoming defensive for him), so now I don't say anything to them; and that can be very isolating for the caregiver.
Plus, you don't always get any practical help from the family of the ill person. That is why I am so glad that I have my family to help me. What would I have done trying to deal with my tumor surgery and recovery; and the chemo trips & treatments, and try to take care of him too? How would I have managed that on my own? Not possible really.
We have been trying some new strategies and natural remedies -- and we are actually seeing some improvement in him. So far, we have been giving him coconut oil every day in his cereal and a B-50 complex vitamin twice weekly, plus a few nights something mild to help him sleep (only on the nights when he hasn't slept well for days and is exhausted). He has meds for his anxiety and depression from his doctor too. We have to realize that there is no cure for Alzheimers; these things are just to help him feel better each day, and have a better quality of life.
He is now accepting that we can't go home until my chemo is done; and that we won't be buying a car any time soon. PHEW! So some things are getting through, for now at least. We still have some tuff moments each day, but things are a bit smoother overall; and at this point, any improvements seem to make a huge difference for everyone. Plus, I'm sure all the prayers being sent up for him/us are helping a lot too. PRAIZE & THANKS TO GOD for that!!!
So, thanks for all your prayers -- they are very needed, and very appreciated ...
BTW, I got a call from my SM, GRACE, that
my DAD is back at home tonight; they believe he has an infection in his lungs and have him on antibiotics for this. Prayers needed that they will work and his health will be restored once again; thanks!