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Originally Posted by livelaughlovesunshin
I really am. I am scared to lose weight. What will I be like? Am I a strong enough person to not let my weight loss change me negatively? I'd like to believe so. What kind of men will I attract when I lose weight? Will my personality change?
When I was thinner well honestly up until about 50 lbs ago I got hit on often. Usually it was the wrong type of men. I just don't know if I am ready for that type of attention.
Will I be more carefree and relaxed once I lose weight? That scares me too. I don't want to change.
I have to lose weight though for health reasons, I want to be around to be a grandma.
I struggled with this A LOT! I finally went to counseling to help with it. As a victim of abuse, my layer of fat kept me "safe." Letting go of it was terrifying. But, I did it. Honestly, I feel that my biggest accomplishment isn't the weight loss, it's the progress I've made emotionally.
Yes, your personality will change. You will gain more confidence in yourself - not just because you lost weight, but because each time a mental block goes up that scared you, you overcame it. Each time you were forced to deal with what scares you, you found out you could handle it. That's very empowering.
You might find that you care about things you never used to - your clothes, makeup, shoes, hair style. That doesn't mean you are shallow. I think it goes hand in hand with learning to value your body and take care of it. But no one forces this on you - it's something you might want to do.
Men are weird. We figured that out when we were little girls. Boys are stupid! lol Seriously, you'll attract almost all men. It's always the jerks that show it in a tacky way. The gentlemen will smile and hold a door open and tell you that you have a pretty smile. You'll know the difference. I hated that feeling of being on display all the time. Everywhere I went, I noticed the looks, the "look-aways," the outright stares - all of it. I'm not a beauty queen - just an ordinary woman that had never experienced this before so it stood out. I remember being disappointed when I would see a man look at me when he was with his wife or girlfriend. I still notice these things, but WAY less. I'm sure the attention is the same, it's just not as new anymore. It made me very sad that we as a human race are so shallow that we don't pay attention to people of all shapes and sizes. I am a freaking awesome person and a **** of a catch - then and now - but all of those men that look at me now, never looked then. Their loss! I had some setbacks and regains as I struggled to deal with the vulnerability I felt. I'm thankful to my patient DB who helped me to still feel good about myself (ironically the more attention I got, the worse I felt about my appearance - I can't really explain it - like I was dirty or "bad" and somehow deserved to be "reduced to" a common slut). A therapist can help with that if you are struggling with it also. But, please, please, please DON'T let it keep you from overcoming it!!
Carefree and relaxed - hmmm...yes, sort of and not really. I'm still just as uptight on things as I've always been. It's a lot easier to find clothes and I don't feel like everyone's staring at me and judging me all the time. Ironically, I feel invisible again. I have better ways of dealing with stress and feelings now that I don't avoid them and "eat" through them. I run a lot when I'm stressed and I have learned to let someone love me.
Mostly, the biggest change is that I am happier. Again, not just because I lost weight - but because I finally slayed the dragons that kept me feeling scared, vulnerable, worthless and unloveable. That feels good.
What hasn't changed - I'm still smart, attractive, funny, a little OCD, forgetful, susceptible to making choices that aren't good for me, and a great friend and mom.