Just a note added on to my last post:
I weighed in at 145.8 today, so down another .4 pound. I was hoping for a more dramatic drop, but 2 pounds in 2 days isn't too bad, I guess!

I'm eager to get back into exercising, so I want this cold to go away like right now.

@olehcat; Thanks for the welcome. I try to eat “clean” the majority of the time. Whole, unprocessed foods. 100-150g protein per day, 40-50g fat, carbs fluctuate depending on how much cardio I do that day. Stuff I eat day-in-day-out: boneless, skinless chicken breast, albacore tuna, lean beef, salmon, sardines in water, eggs, almonds, steel-cut oats, kasha, apples, bananas, strawberries and raspberries (when in season), spinach, kale, broccoli, baby carrots, zucchini, summer squash, red peppers. I have cooking days where I prepare my foods ahead of time and store it in containers or zip lock bags for the week. I count calories by measuring out portions and weighing foods on a scale. Most days I log calories into Fitday.com. For exercise, I lift weights, run and cycle in the summer, and do indoor spin biking and walking in the winter. Diet is much more important than anything else… I’m definitely not perfect though. I struggle with binge/restrict cycle most of the time. So, learning moderation is important. I’m not so good at that. Losing weight is far easier than maintaining it.

@Bayzee; Hi there, thanks for the welcome.

@JossFit; That looks great! I love sweet potatoes. I think I read some of your earlier posts. Was it you who mentioned that you struggled with binge eating and then learned to incorporate moderation into your diet? I’d love to learn how you accomplished that. I’ve been struggling with the binge/restrict cycle for three years now… and it’s very frustrating. How did you learn to moderate while still staying lean? I haven’t yet checked out that sub-forum but I will do so today when I have time.

@TurboMammoth; Thank you for the welcome. It’s encouraging to find a group of people that I can fit in with. I hope that moderation will be something that I can accomplish someday. It’s been very..very difficult and so far I’ve not had any luck.

@Dorian; I wouldn’t feel bad about over-eating. Guilt won’t get you anywhere. Your mantra should be, “Today is a fresh start”. Say it over and over. You and I are in the same boat. I had a binge day yesterday and today I have to start over. Let’s give each other support today.

@Alexistrophic; Thanks for the welcome. Breaking the binge/restrict cycle is difficult but I’ll do it. I know I can. I had another binge day yesterday though. So, I feel yha. My best friend and I went out to the movies and chowed down on chocolate, ick. Let’s start over fresh today.

@krampus; Thanks for the welcome. High protein and high veggies is the way to go! Be careful about being too strict though. It can lead to binge eating. I like being tiny but it is difficult to maintain! I still struggle with binge eating.

@sontaikle; Looks like we’re the same weight and height. What are some tips you use to maintain this weight? I was 106 for the longest time but I let myself get caught up in restrict/binge cycle….

~~~

Good morning, everyone. I’m sad to say that I had two binge days in a row (Monday and Tuesday). I’m feeling pretty down today and I’m pretty sure that I’ll be back up to 113 or worse if I step on the scale. I’m going to avoid weighing in today because I know that it will be mostly water weight. But I’m really struggling this morning to get back on track. I have grocery shopping to do later so I’m planning on making today another cooking day. At least, if I can prepare my healthy foods for the rest of the week, I’ll start to feel more on track again. Sigh… I don’t know why I do this to myself! I was eating at a very normal calorie level too! (1.5-1.6k each day). That isn’t low enough to trigger a binge. So I’m not sure why I did it… I need to get my **** today this week. I don’t like feeling out of control when it comes to eating.

Also, as promised. Here is the most recent picture of me. It was taken New Year's Eve 2013. I'm on the right (brunette, red shirt) and my friend is on the left. I was 110lbs on New Year's Eve. The black blob behind me is the tail end of my dog... lol

Joss ~ Awww, hurray for your mom and her fantastic groceries! You seem to have that way of just encouraging people to make healthy choices without passing judgment. Have you ever thought of maybe being a personal trainer/fitness professional or something? ( - I know you're planning on going to REAL school for this.) Your poor roommate... That is a tough situation. Hopefully, she and the bf can either work things out or come to an amicable parting of ways.

And did I read that you DO want to do competitions, but there's nothing in your area? Are you shaping up for a photoshoot goal? Whatever the case, you're definitely a triple threat: good lookin', great body (at any weight) AND smart on top of it all. You're a winner, sweet girl.

Sontaikle ~ You skinny minny, fitting into those teeny tiny clothes! Way to rock it, girl! And big giant congrats for your successful job interview. That's fantastic!!! Keep us posted on what happens. Just watch, you end up nailing it!

Turbo ~ That's a good way of thinking of it: clean closet = more space for new clothes. Just in general, I think that clean = more space. For me at least, it's a challenge with myself to fill up the new space with healthy, wonderful things instead of the same old crap.

Olehcat ~ Glad you're still sticking with it! It's super chilly (11 degrees F) down here too and it DOES sound like the wine was a necessary component of your evening. I'm still trying to hang in the 17DD, even though I'm not on it 100%. I'm determined to stick it out, even though I can't do it "perfectly". I'm not so sure about the "cheat/reward" days, though. I have SUCH a hard time getting back on track that for me, it's not really worth it.

Aidanqm ~ Dang girl, you are tiiiiiny! I'd give yourself a break when it comes to losing any more. Although, I know first-hand that the **** of the binge/restrict cycle knows no weight boundaries. Learn from the past, draw a line, and move on! You can do this and get to a place of peace and acceptance of your body. It is possible! Good action on planning out your meals for the week. It makes everything else just that much easier. Hang in there!

~~~
Food yesterday was messy, but I did some soul searching and am going to try to even out my cals so that I'm not as prone to the restrict/binge cycle.

Day #8 on 17DD-
I had two slices of Ezekiel bread w. a dusting of butter + pear. So not really 17DD cycle one compliant at all, but I was able to breeze right past the bagel store, as well as all the goodies at work. It's a win for complex slow release carbs.

Am going to try to throw some fish into the eating plan and bake up an eggplant for dinner sometime this week, too. I made salata bethanjan (Arabic eggplant salad) last week (roasted eggplant with a kind of garlic/lemon yogurt dresssing) and it got rave reviews, so that's making it into the dinner rotation.

Have dinner + gathering at a friends' house tonight and am just planning on loading up on salad that I'm bringing to share, and possibly a small serving of the main dish. I don't usually eat at other peoples' houses b.c I have food allergies (nuts+shellfish) and I can never be sure about cross contamination, but I just get tired of being the only person at the table not eating. Oh, well... Might just load up on the salad alone.

After giving The 17 Day Diet a rousing thumbs down, I would heartily recommend Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes for anyone looking for a fascinating take on modern nutrition. It's dense and science-heavy (polar opposite of 17DD) but gives a pretty all encompassing view of the relationship between science and nutritional theory. Just thought I'd throw that into the mix, too.

Have a great day, everyone!!!

Hi everyone and happy Wednesday!

Thanks to everyone for all the warm welcomes.

Yesterday was a great on plan day for me! Green smoothie for breakfast, cooked veggies, hummus and avocado for lunch, lentil soup and kale for dinner. And I got in a hour of hot yoga, plus planks and push ups at home.

This morning I was down a pound. 132.6. First time I've seen 132 since I don't know when...maybe 10 years? I've been basically bouncing between 134-142 for YEARS, but never went below 134.

I am bracing myself that it may be dehydration from the hot yoga class, but I can't help but be happy and change my ticker anyway. When changing it, it now shows I've lost an even 20 lbs since I started all this dieting back in September / October of 2010. Yay for 20 lbs, boo for it taking me over 2 years (although in all fairness, I stopped and started many times).

I'm feeling very hopeful that this round may be what finally brings me back to 115, the weight I maintained easily until I started working full time after college! Ugh!

Joss: Your meals look a lot like mine, except I don't eat meat so I add lentils, beans, tofu, etc to my veggies! We are around the same height / weight so I hope we continue to steadily lose. Have to say though, from your pics you look AMAZING at your goal weight - I can only wish to look like that when I get to 115!

Sontaikle Awesome news about the lower size! Does everywhere even carry a size 00? I've only seen that at Banana Republic.

Turbo I'm a runner too, but with the -25 (F) temps we had here yesterday a friend convinced me to go to hot yoga instead! I hate hate treadmill running, so it's such a hard decision for me if I want to brave the cold or tough it out on the dreadmill.

Alex Thanks for the book recommendation - I have been trying to focus more on nutrition since i've been back to dieting. I think it's easier for me mentally to think of this all as a healthy way of eating rather than a calorie restricted diet with a beginning and an end.

Aidnquin You look great in your pic, and even if you are a up a few lbs since then, I am sure you still look great! I have to say, i have been 110 at 5' 3'' but don't think i ever looked as thin as you. Lookin good! I agree with staying away from the scale for a few days if you are worried about it.

Olehcat Hope you feel better soon! I hate it when I finally get on a good exercise / eating plan and then I get a cold that derails it all! Maybe try to eat lightly with lots of brothy soups and juicy fruits? I've heard the body heals better with light eating, so now I look at sickness as an opportunity to eat less rather than stuff myself with goldfish, grilled cheese, mac and cheese (do you see a cheese theme?) and popsicles. LOL, all foods my mom gave me when I was sick as a child that I really associate with comfort when sick.

Bayzee Looks like you have made great progress, I am sure you will break through 116 soon!

JessicaB - Thanks for the kind words! I am slowly getting there!

Krampus - Gurl...your arms are sick! love love love how tiny yet buff you look! Do you have a certain arms routine you do that you can share? Also, your potluck food had my mouth literally watering.

Dorain5 I can really relate with what you said about feeling like you don't want the weight loss enough. It is such a hard balance for me with everyone around us in the world eating crap and being unhealthy. My husband brings stuff home for me as treats sometimes too. I feel bad because I want to eat them, and I don't want to be "that girl" refusing everything. Guac and chips are my favorite...so hard to resist. Sometimes I eat it with slices of peppers or other veggies instead of the chips which feels healthier. Love how you said F You to the donuts. That's awesome! Cracked me up.

Sorry if I missed anyone in personals...still getting up to speed on everyone's day to day happenings!

Morning Feathers,

I'd be way happier about my weigh-in (123.6) if it weren't a direct product of being too sick to eat - some kind of chest cold. I made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow afternoon that I can hopefully cancel (I hate the $20 copay, too cheap to look after myself) - Mucinex and Airborne (1000 mg Vitamin C) and tons of tea are helping a lot. I think last night may have been the worst of it but I dunno, I've had pneumonia a few times and would like to make sure it's not headed that way. At least I'm not smoking now!

What did I even eat yesterday...think I had a plain Greek yogurt, less than half of my lovingly made tuna/gorgonzola/5 kinds of veggies/hard boiled eggs salad, a smallish protein bar, and half a bowl of chicken noodle soup that my boyfriend made. I hope my appetite comes back soon, because I ordered PB2 and some Quest bars today!!!!!!!!

Wildflower I'm so happy to see you back here and finally breaking that plateau that had you frustrated so many years ago! For my arms I lift dumbbells, seated cable row/lat pulldown machine, and push around plates on a barbell in a corner.

Alexistrophic Mmmmm fish and baked eggplant and garlic/lemon/yogurt dressing all sounds incredible. Are you unhappy with the 17DD itself or just the way the book is written? I OBVIOUSLY got on my knees and bowed respectfully to Billy Blanks and thanked him for imparting his wisdom upon me. Actually I was kind of rude because I was surprised - I had earbuds in and he said "Too much weight" and I was just like "WHY??" in a really impatient tone.

Aidangm I think it was me who said I used moderation and a year "off" to move past binge eating. I haven't had a proper binge where I inhale carbs until I'm physically ill since summer 2011. I don't count calories (I don't need to - I CC-ed for a long time, ha) and I try to eat cleanish with exceptions for events and such, but I am not strict about it at all. That being said, I also "settled" at a higher BMI than my personal ideal, so there's that. You look great btw, I love your style!

olehcat Ughhhh you and me both. I'm hacking and can't smell or taste anything today. Hope you heal up soon - I gotta agree the only good thing about being sick is being too sick to overeat. :P

TurboMammoth Five star poop! Congratulations! It's F#&*KING COLD, I'm sure going outside to run would give you frostbite or hypothermia or some awful severe medical condition. Not worth losing fingers and toes over!

JossFit Hehe I was too surprised/taken aback to think of anything good to say...after rudely blurting "WHY?!" I think I just put my headphones back in while he was in the midst of explaining why I was using too much weight and said "thanks" or something. Thanks for the pep talk!!! I'm proud of your mom too - getting "adults" over age 50 to eat right is really, really hard. My parents eat pretty badly and comment on how "healthy" my food looks while doing nothing about their own diets.

sontaikle Yeah buddy!!!!!!!!!!! Way to go on the interview and your tiny pants!

Bayzee I actually didn't eat any of the General Tso's chicken...just a couple pieces of the broccoli on the side. How are the morning workouts treating you? I was on a roll with workouts until I got sick.

JessicaB I'm relieved (sorry, everything lends itself to poop puns) to hear things are showing improvement with your daughter. It's sooo stressful with little people because you can't make them do things. For example I never learned how to cough up phlegm and I hate the idea of it so I just SWALLOW it.

It's HUMP DAY! Well, no actual humping anytime in my near future. My husband had a training event come up so I had to cancel my trip out there for Valentine's Day, AND I had planned on seeing him again in April but that's gone to pot too. Now I'm shooting for May, which will be the one time I get to see him before he deploys. So, if you're all tracking... I will see my husband in May and then again in February of 2014. Yay.

You know what though? It is what it is. There is a light at the end of the tunnel at least, and it's not going to break us. I'm going to focus on my own life and if he is able to come visit me between now and May that would be great, but if not, we'll be OK. My best friend and her husband are about to be separated for an entire year and if they can do it, so can we. I just might be getting that puppy BEFORE he comes home...

I am pissed that I didn't get my money back for the plane ticket but I do have it on credit with the airline to use within the next year. I'll just apply it to my ticket when I visit the hubbs in May. (Or whenever... who knows at this rate?!)

Smallish drop on the scale today after a 2/5-er this morning, so the grand total for the first 7 days on this program was 6 pounds scale loss, but it looks like 5 of that was water weight that dropped off in the first two days. Either way, a pound lost is good by me!

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Alex - I think you are my favorite person today. Thank you so much for saying that, I really appreciate it. I would like to compete on one hand, but on the other, I wonder if I could actually handle being picked apart by complete strangers after months and months of grueling workouts and hard core dieting. It sounds great to compete, but the reality of it might be too much for me.
For now, I just want the look...

I'm definitely glad that something has inspired my mom to eat a bit better, though I didn't really do anything on purpose to try and get her going that way. I sometimes post the same photos of my food on Facebook that I do here, and I guess she just decided that chicken and sweet potatos looked good to her too! haha

LOL, yeah, I have toyed with the idea of going into personal training... haha I mean, it's not like I'm going to separate from the Air Force in July and move across the country to go get a degree in Personal Training or anything.

The situation with the roomie is tough... I feel for her. I hate being away from my husband but he's my HUSBAND, he's in this country, and I know that it's only a matter of time before we can continue on with our lives together. For her, she wants to marry her BF but it's a bit soon for him, it's CRAZY expensive to fly to England all the time, and there really is no light at the end of that tunnel. She doesn't know if they'll just part ways or try to keep things together, but she's going to try to just enjoy it while he is still here.

So of all of the foods you mentioned (eggplant salad, ezekiel bread, pear, butter, fish) I can have, um, the fish... depending on what kind it is. LOL I am not hungry, nor do I have any real cravings (yet) but I could definitely go for a pear right now.

(give me a minute to zone out and then clean the drool off of my desk)

I haven't read Good Calories, Bad Calories, but I have read his book This Is Why We're Fat - And What To Do About It, and found it interesting to say the least. I definitely recommend that one.

Good luck with the new approach to evening out your calories. I know it's hard to do (as I'm doing it myself) but I think that slow and steady losses are always going to be better than tryint to go too fast and end up in that awful binge/restrict cycle. (Yeah, Earth-shattering revelation from Jossfit, I know, but still...)

Aidanqm - Yeah, that was probably me you were referring to, and honestly it comes and goes with the binges. I have gone long periods of time with no issues and then sometimes I struggle with it, as I did this holiday season and just before it. I don't really consider myself to have Binge Eating Disorder, because I know that I control it. I actively choose to binge or not, and sometimes I just choose to do so more often than other times. If I don't really have a particular goal or motivation to keep my diet tight I will indulge a lot more often. To be totally honest, I LIKE eating massive quantities of food because sometimes I just get tired of CARING. Sometimes I just don't want to think about calories, macros, etc. and just want to eat a whole pizza, ice cream, etc.
Normally it's not an issue, but sometimes I have trouble convincing myself that it's time to get back on track and I let it go for a longer period of time than I should. I think to some extent it's normal to overeat, but I do realize that when I do overeat I sometimes eat an excessive amount of food that would qualify it as a binge.

All of that being said, I DO eat things 'in moderation' most of the time, and what I mean by that is that I don't limit myself as far as what I can eat. If I want chocolate, marshmallows, ice cream, alcohol, etc. I will have it, but I eat a proper portion and work it into my calorie goal for the day and usually also try to find ways to make it healthier. It's nothing revolutionary by any means, but it did take me time to learn to trust myself. Yes, I CAN have 1-2 pieces of dark chocolate without my head spinning around and sending myself diving headfirst into the cupboards searching for more food.

It's all about whether or not I'm motivated to keep making the effort. Food is just food, and there will always be more of it.

As far as your last couple of days, I think if you take the time to think about it you DO know why you binged. Maybe you were just tired of limiting yourself, tired of your usual foods... I don't know. I think that in general though, women like us who have dieted down to a very small size don't have some sort of deep rooted psychological issues that you need to deal with in therapy or anything... we're just tired of giving a crap! LOL I hit 113 pounds in September of last year and frankly that's when my binging kicked back in... my mind was tired. You only have so much willpower, and even having things in moderation takes willpower to limit yourself to a proper portion size and be responsible with it.

It IS hard to stay that lean and enjoy some things/not binge. I think as long as you continue to keep your weight so low, via healthy diet and exercise or not, your body and more importantly your MIND are going to keep you fighting those urges.

Olehcat - Making sure you are happy and satisfied is more important than rigidly adhering to a diet, so if adding a bit of wine into 17DD keeps you moving forward, that's fantastic! I think you have a very healthy outlook on it, though I do wish you would incorporate weight lifting... hahaha.
I DO understand your need to see some sort of forward momentum reflected on the scale though, so I won't ride your butt about it. For now.

Oh, and speaking of which, congrats on the drop! I'd say 2 pounds in 2 days is definitely motivating!

Are you feeling any better today?

Turbo - That dessert sounds simple and delish. I have to admit, ever since you introduced me to naniamo (I probably misspelled that) bars I have been fantasizing about them. Not daily, but occasionally... hahaha. I vow to make them at some point this year! Remind me to do that when I'm done with this program. I'm sure I can find some sort of event to make them for so that I don't eat them all myself.

Did you run on the treadmill today?

Ugh, I'm jealous of your 5-star poop session! LOL I'm sorry all if this is too detailed but here goes; I checked my weight this morning and was 131.8 pounds (same as yesterday) and decided if I waited a few minutes I bet I would have to go to the bathroom. I waited and sure enough I got the urge, so I had like a 2-star poo and then checked again... 131.2 pounds. I felt okay about that, and accepted it and moved on with my day, but I've had like 3 more 2-star poos since! I wish I had just had one 5-star and been done with it! LOL My weight probably would have been a little lower on the scale too!

(And yes, I realize I just basically advertised the exact weight of my poop. )

Wildflower - I'm always curious as to why people are vegetarians... care to share your reasons? (And don't feel any pressure to if it's personal, I'm just wondering).

Congrats on the losses so far! 20 pounds is GREAT, no matter what the timeframe was! Slow and steady baby!

I actually think I was at like 118 or so in the avatar I currently have. I did get about 5 pounds lower but even though I was super lean I started losing muscle. I think 118-120 is a much better range for me.

Krampus - I am so sorry you're sick... that's not fun at all! Yay for Quest bars though! They're my favorite! What flavors did you order? I have to say the Apple Pie is my favorite, followed by Cinnamon Roll, Banana Nut Bread, Chocolate Brownie and Chocolate Peanut butter. I'm not a huge fan of the Coconut Cashew or the Lemon, but the Strawberry Cheesecake, Vanilla Almond and Mixed Berry are all pretty good too. None of them are BAD, that's for sure.

I'm not a huge fan of PB2. I've used it but it's just not satisfying to me. I understand the appeal, but to me mixing it into things doesn't taste peanutty enough, and I miss the mouth feel that real PB or Almond butter have.

Are your parents overweight, or just not the best eaters? My mom and stepdad are both overweight (though not obese) but my little brother... holy crap. The poor kid was OBESE up until just recently and has started losing a bit of weight. He's still very overweight and pretty inactive though, and it makes me so sad because he's 16 now and that has got to be hard on him.
I never preach at my family AT ALL, but when my mom asks me things I share as much as I can about working out and eating right. I was a bit surprised when she shared her groceries with me, but so happy! I worry about her health, but moreso about my little brother's self-esteem and my step-dad's medical issues. I hope some of the healthier foods stay in their diets.

Oh my god I wrote this long @ss post and my browser crashed, ughhhh.

I had a horrible night last night, my hockey team lost, I ate too much, I drank too much, I had a fight with my boyfriend. I'm hungover this morning, had a nail in my tire, and worst of all, the beau and I still aren't really talking.

Some people comfort eat when they are upset. I restrict, and even the smell of food turns me off, or I gag on it.

Just having a really, really sh!tty day.

--

Wildflower -- That's exactly how I feel, if someone gives me food or makes something for me that they know I would enjoy out of love, I don't want to turn it down. I don't want to be that person; I would rather just not see a loss on the scale and be able to accept a token of love/affection.

Alexistrophic -- Your bread with butter/pear sounds amazing! I will check out that good calories/bad calories book, I have been looking for something to read on weightloss and it sounds right up my alley. I have been cutting the coffee out, and therefore the creamer; I usually just have some on the weekend now.

Aidanqm -- You are so tiny! You look like a ballet dancer. I ADORE your hair, it suits you face perfectly. I like your fluffy dog too! I'm sorry you've had a hard time with bingeing lately, we SHOULD all support each other. Here's to a better day!

olehcat -- Congrats on the drop, ANY downward scale motion is great! I know what you mean, I am always trying to remind myself how bad I will feel about it after I eat something off plan. I'm sorry you're still sick, I hope you feel better soon!

TurboMammoth -- The $1 hot dogs were like a promotion/thank you thing for sticking through the lockout, haha. YAY for 5 star poop! Sorry it was too cold to run, but congrats on the crunches.

JossFit -- I always worry about what my mother eats too, I'm afraid she eats nutritionally-poor meals, even though she is in good shape. I need to make my dinners start looking as green as yours! YAY NO CAVITIES! It must be so hard to be apart from the person you love for such a long period of time, but you guys obviously have such a strong connection that you overcome the distance thing. It gives me warm fuzzies.

sontaikle -- Size 00 is like a far away dream for me, haha. That's amazing! CONGRATS on the interview process moving ahead, still have my fingers crossed for you!

Bayzee -- Sorry to hear you are stuck, even though it sounds like you're doing all the right things! Here's to hoping you'll have a big WHOOSH soon!

JessicaB -- I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is having difficulty, but I'm glad that it's started to resolve itself. Man, people who are mothers are amazing people, I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. Your daughter is lucky to have such a patient, loving mommy!

krampus -- eww, yeah screw that meathead dude. Not his business! I am SO SORRY you are sick! I hope you start feeling better soon! My boyfriend likes salad, vegetables, all of that, so he and I easily eat the same things for dinner. I try to make sure they are pretty dude friendly -- tacos, chili, stir fry. And I make sure there's enough so he can have a bigger portion if he finds he's still hungry. He likes salad, which is awesome, and he can grill any piece of meat and it comes out insanely delicious, so he'll often do some lemony/dill grilled chicken or some lean steaks with terragon. That potluck food looks awesome, especially that falafel pie, oh man.

---

Soooo sorry if I missed anyone, I had to write this monster post twice, haha. Hope everyone's having a great day.

Dorian - I had to edit my post above yours like 4 times because Krampus and Wildflower both posted at the same time as me... I don't want to keep editing it because it's now 70,000 pages long so you get your own post.

I wish I could send you a real hug today! I can't imagine having ALL OF THAT happen at once, and I know how even just one thing can make your day horrible.

Can I be annoying for a second? I guess I'm just having a weird happy day or something, because even though I'm facing a ton of challenges this year and miss my husband and best friend (and all my family, really) like crazy, I'm choosing not to be upset today.

I'm not going to take it out on my husband that his schedule changed... it's not his fault. I'm not going to be mad at the airline for not refunding my airfare because I purchased the non-refundable ticket (and I can use that credit later on!) and I'm not going to be worried and stressed over separating from the AF, moving, starting school, my husband's deployment, etc. Not today. Today I'm choosing to look on the bright side.

Your team lost -- they'll play again! Did you enjoy the game? That's all that really matters! Sports are there to entertain you, and if you were entertained that is the most important part. If your team won all the time there would be no drama, no excitement. It keeps it interesting!

You ate and drank too much -- Was it delicious? Did you relax and have a good time while you were doing it or did you feel guilty while you were eating and drinking? I'm not going to say that you *should* have 'let loose' or "lived a little" but if nothing else, can you learn something from it?

You got into a fight with your boyfriend - This is never fun, but, was it over something important? Did you guys have something that NEEDED to be brought up?
If it was something that needed to be expressed, it's probably good you guys got it out in the open. If it wasn't, it's not the end of the world...
In either case, it's fixable! Sit down with him when you've both calmed down and have a rational discussion about it. If you acted like a turd, apologize for it and move on. If he was a jerk, let him know in a constructive way; "I FEEL like you don't take me seriously when..." "I FEEL like you don't put as much value on..." etc. I have never had a FIGHT with my husband, and frankly it's because I generally walk away from the situation, calm down, and then let him know that I FEEL like he's a $hithead, not that he IS a $hithead... trust me, huge difference.

You're hungover -- Um, I got nothing. You're f*cked on that one. Take a knee and hydrate, as we say.

Dorian5 Huge hugs to you. Fighting with a bf is the absolute worst. I haven't had a fight with mine yet but even our almost-fights (which happen at least once a week, he goes too long without eating and gets low-blood-sugar grumpy and I have to pretend that's not the reason why) stress me out and make me want to stress not-eat.

Obviously you don't have to go into details if you don't want to but like Joss said, was it a fight over something substantial or important, or just two sick-of-winter people b!tching at each other? Either way I hope you can go to bed made-up or at least in the process of making up tonight. Going to bed angry is the worst.

Sorry about all the other sh!t too. What a fail of a day.

JossFit That blows about your visit having to get benched but it sounds like you're very practical-minded about it and (unfortunately?) kinda used to these kinds of things happening. Six pounds is pretty great nonetheless, think of how much you were eating while the water weight dropped! :P I ordered Coconut Cashew, Chocolate Brownie, Chocolate PB, and Apple Pie - I can't wait!!! It was you and sontaikle who sold me on the idea. PB2 will be interesting - if I hate it I'm only out $4 thankfully.

My mom is normal weight (5'6 130-135) and walks 3.5 miles every day but that's it. When she has dinner alone she'll make a bowl of Minute white rice and pour butter and cinnamon sugar on it >__<. My dad was very, very fit until 20ish years ago when he started depression-eating bagels and now he is obese and can barely walk 1.5 miles...he has a lot of other health problems which keep him in bed a lot, so he gets virtually no activity whatsoever.

That's tough about your little bro - being 16 and fat sucks but it sounds like he is at the very least losing some weight, easier when you're younger than at middle age or later. So many people I know were chubby/out of shape/unattractive teenagers but by their early to mid twenties lost their extra lbs and learned to be active as a lifestyle. Hopefully your brother follows that route! It looks like you are leading well by example - maybe healthier habits will trickle down from your mom to your stepdad and brother.

I found this picture when I went home last of 160ish lb 16 year old me, my mom before she lost 20-25 lbs, and...my dad kinda still looks like that. I remember those pants being really tight :\

Hugs Dorian! Sounds like the worst morning ever - ugh. I hope the rest of your day turns itself around (it has to, right? Can only get better after that morning). The time away from the BF will probably be good cooling off time and I hope it will be easier to resolve the conflict (or agree to forget about it!) when you see each other tonight.

You are all so sweet to me. I love this community.

I don't think fight is even the right word, but I feel like it was very serious talk/vent. We don't yell, call each other things, anything like that. It was moreso just a really worrying/discouraging discussion.

I am one of those people that doesn't talk about anything bothering me until it gets so bad it explodes and then it's a big problem instead of a calm discussion, so I do feel at fault. I just let things fester. Can you guys relate? You know, someone asks "Are you okay?" and it's like, you just give a flat monotone "I'm fine." when really, no. You're not fine. It's harmful, and not a good idea. I'm also guilty of that silent treatment/passive aggressive thing in the past, I am trying to make a conscious effort this time to not do that, because it's ugly. You know?

JossFit: I WILL take a knee and hydrate. The hockey team isn't really even on my radar, the only thing I really enjoy about having those season tickets is going on a date with the beau. I am humbled by the things you are dealing with at the moment and still managing a positive outlook; please don't mind me as I take a leaf out of your book. Thank you for the wisdom, it definitely helped. The beer/food WAS delicious, and we had a good time at the game.

krampus: Yeah I really would like to get it resolved asap. It feels so awful. It's draining, upsetting. It was a fail day! I hope I can turn it around. You look really cute in that picture with your parents!!! Awww. Were you a girl scout?

Wildflower: You're so sweet, thank you for the hugs. I hope you're right, I'm pretty anxious to put it in the past and get happy again.

@Alexistrophic; Thanks. I’m glad that there are others on the forum who can relate to the struggle of the binge/restrict cycle. I have been in a battle with it for three years. And I don’t think I’ll ever be completely rid of it (so long as my weight is this low). And yeah, everyone else says that I don’t need to lose any more weight either. I’m really considering stopping at 110… but it’s very difficult to maintain. Sounds like you make some interesting food combinations. Eggplant salad? That sounds really interesting.

@Wildflower; Thanks for the encouragement. Lentil soup is amazing! You sound like a great cook.

@krampus; I hope that you feel better soon. It sounds like you have a rather nasty cold. Don’t let it get worse! Rest up and take a break from the gym if you need it. Sleep more and up the calorie count. As far as binge eating goes, I think you are right. Staying at a higher "normal" weight seems to be the only 100% way to stop binge cravings. When I was 120 in high school, I never once had the urge to binge.

@JossFit; Thanks for the thoughtful and candid reply. I’m really glad to hear that I’m not the only one fighting this fight. I sometimes feel like there is something terribly wrong with me or my willpower when I binge so often. But I’m glad to know that other “fitness nerds” have problems with it too. And, what you say makes a lot of sense… sometimes it’s hard to care so consistently and strongly about it. Calorie counting every day can be stressful. It’s mentally exhausting to keep such a tight rope on calories, macros, cardio minutes, etc. I'll keep fighting thoguh. The best solution I've found is to prepare a weeks worth of food ahead of time in ziplock and tupperwares (portioning is out and such). That way, I don't even have to think about it. Also, scheduling one free meal per week helps give me a break.

@Dorian5; Thanks so much! I was in ballroom dance for a while, actually. I still do swing dancing and I really enjoy it. I’ll post another picture of my dog sometime soon. I’m sorry to hear that you had such a rough night. Today is a new day and a fresh start. Let’s just keep reminding ourselves that. “Today is a fresh start” Over and over… I like to have a starting over ritual after a binge or a bad day. Like brushing my teeth, taking a long hot shower, then a nap… haha. And then the next morning I’ll usually stock up on good groceries and have a healthy food cooking day where I prep my food. It really helps me set the “reset” button on my diet.

~~~

Went grocery shopping this morning. Picked up my staples: chicken, apples, broccoli, cottage cheese, peppers, sweet potatoes, already have some other food in the house. Will cook it after a nap. Going to hit the gym later today and do at least 45 minutes on the spin bike.

sontaikle 00, wow you are super tiny. And glad to hear the phone interview went well, good luck with the next stage.

Joss I haven't worked out an exact transition diet, aside from a vague idea of wanting to increase calories gradually. I do know I'd like to increase my protein consumption, and veggies is something I can always work on consuming more of, so I plan on starting by increasing those things first. Then adding a bit more carbs back in, and more small treats until I figure out what I should be eating. That's a long ways away for me too though, at this point.

It's awesome that your mom is trying to eat better. A lot of my poor eating habits stem from my childhood, but I got away with it then.. in high school I weighed 115, and never had issues with my body, so I've told myself that is the absolute lowest I'll allow myself to go. My parents still don't eat that well, their fridge usually doesn't have too much in terms of veggies / fruit, and it mostly stems from being frugal. It was a necessity growing up, because they have 9 kids, but now, you'd think they'd incorporate a bit more. Still, they do like healthy food, but don't seem to be overly devoted to eating good OR bad. Honestly, growing up, bananas were treats, and we had to ask to have one. Seeing as how they are like the cheapest fruit available, things must have been really tight, so we ate a lot of carb heavy meals, since that seems to stretch the $$ the furthest.

Turbo I could not imagine running outside with how cold it's been the past few days, and I'm sure Quebec is similar to how it is in Ontario right now. To be honest, I don't think I'd run outside at all in winter, even on the milder days, so I certainly admire your dedication to outdoor running.

olehcat A glass of wine does not sound too bad. Sometimes I have to remind myself, that even going a bit off plan is better than had I been on no plan at all, and to be proud of what I've accomplished.

Aidanqm Wow, you are very tiny, and you look great. Hope you have a smooth on plan day today, and can beat any urges to binge.

Alexistrophic Evening out your calories sounds like a good solid plan. That is exactly why I plan on doing that when I am done with this little competition. If I had just evened out my calories when I started having trouble, I would have been so much better off than now.

Wildflower Congrats on the new low.

krampus Hope you feel better soon.

Dorian I do the same thing, keep things inside until I can't bear it anymore. And when I'm mad, and secretly dwelling on it, I get even madder, because I feel like my husband should be able to sense I'm mad, and talk to me about it. We don't really fight often though, my husband never gets mad. So every once in a while, it'll be me bringing up issues, and that's pretty much it. Most of our issues tend to stem from the fact that I feel overwhelmed as a parent, and don't feel that he does his fair share of parenting. And while it's true for the most part, part of it is because my work schedule is more predictable, and I work closer to the daycare, and also because my daughter is just a huge mommy's girl, and clings to me, and refuses to let daddy do anything for her. It does stress me out though, because it results in him having more personal time and space and me having next to none.

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I stopped by the school that I am hoping to enroll my daughter in for the fall today. As a result, I think I'm going to let the painting wait a bit, and try to focus on helping my daughter prepare for the admissions test. They gave me the material to cover with her today, and her french just isn't where it needs to be to get in to the school.

A bit of background, growing up, I was in french immersion in school, and so it just feels natural to provide my daughter with the same learning opportunity. However, the school board for our area has the worst french immersion program in all of Ontario. It's so bad that it doesn't meet the required number of hours of instruction in french to qualify as a french immersion program, so they call it partial french immersion. That's not the only problem with the program, there are a limited number of spots, they don't start the program until grade 1, and they take kids in the school's area first, and the school closest to us doesn't have it. Not to mention they don't provide transportation if it's not the school that they'd be going to if they were in the normal English program. My sister feels the same way I do about the partial french immersion program, so when she moved to the district from a neighboring city, she enrolled her kids at the public french school (meant for kids who are raised in francophone households). Anyways, her kids got in based on a test they had to take, but they already knew french from the french immersion program they were in, in the other city. The rest of her kids got admitted automatically based on the fact that they had a sibling attending the school. But because my daughter doesn't have automatic rights to attend the school, she first has to take a test to demonstrate how much french she knows, and after that, we get referred to an admissions committee who will decide if we want to send her there for the right reasons, can provide the right kind of support, etc.

I had been worried about admission for ages, and my sister told me not to worry about it too much, and told me she didn't think she'd have a hard time getting in. Still, about a year ago, I started sending her to a french home daycare 2 days a week, and then switched her to full time back in September. Even so, she hasn't picked up as much as I thought she would have, probably partially because she doesn't like to demonstrate what she knows to me, but also because the french lady at the daycare doesn't insist she speaks french, and will try to accommodate her with broken English.

The lady told me over the phone that the test would be fairly easy, since it's just for kindergarten, but it seriously covers everything that you'd expect a kid to be learning in kindergarten from numbers to letters to colors, and then names of basic objects. My kid can count in french with a bit of help, and she knows her alphabet in English, but not french. I don't think she knows her colors in french, but mastered them in English long ago, and there are a lot of objects that she just doesn't know the french words for (or at least I don't know that she knows). So I'm starting to stress about it a little bit, and studying with her will be my new project. I know I shouldn't worry about it, and when I express my worry to other people, they just don't understand why she has to go to a french school. She doesn't HAVE to, but as a parent, I like to provide her with as many opportunities as I can, regardless if she'll end up using the language when she's older or not.

This is probably way too much to say on the subject, given that it's a weight loss forum, so I apologize. This place has just naturally become a place to write down my thoughts, regardless of whether they relate to weight loss or not.

*waves* Hi people. So, I came down with something (probably a cold) over the weekend. Every day I feel worse which rather sucks Last night I came home from work whining to my husband that I have Whooping Cough and Norovirus, being overly dramatic but both were possible! My stomach wasn't doing well the 2nd half of yesterday. It's mostly better now though, but the cold isn't and for all I know it could be whooping cough cause that starts off with mild symptoms that get worse... which is what is going on with me. Though, realistically, I know it's likely not whooping cough. Still pretty miserable though. Today is the first day it's giving me a headache. GRRR!!!

On the plus side, even though I ate like a pig for lunch yesterday (or at least felt like I did) I still ended up having a pretty good day calorie wise and I dipped a tiny bit under 147 this morning! So that's good. Now to just feel better. Boo.

~Katy

olehcat : I'm glad to hear you are doing great on the 17DD! Being stuck in a diet triggering binges is the wooooorst. And 2 pounds in 2 days is awesome!!! It is always so motivating to see results so fast

Aidanqm : You are so pretty! I love your haircut What are you planning to cook on your healthy cooking day?

Alexis : I think Ezekiell bread instead of a bagel from the store is definitely a win situation for you I'll look at the book you are suggesting, I'm crazy for nutrition informations these days! Especially since the PhD project of the boyfriend is turning much more on nutrition, I'd like to be more informed about that too!

How bad are your allergies? Do you need a shot if you eat something you are allergic too?

Wildflower : Congrats on the new low!!! You must be so thrilled!!

Yeah, the weather is wayyy to cold to run outside these days. Today, with the wind, we got something like -35, tons of cars were not starting this morning! I hate threadmill tooo, jeez. But I am trying to recover from some injury, so the threadmill might be good to run on a more stable surface (and escape the cold )

krampus : Aww I hope you'll feel better soon! And I agree with you, losing fingers and stuff is nooot worth it for a run lol. Today was the freaking worst day ever since the beginning of the winter, usually at night we lower the heaters in the house but it never goes really down to the point we get cold. Last night, the cat was trying to snuggle with me as hard as he could and the boyfriend was pulling covers, we were freezing lol I had to get up and turn the thing on so we could sleep.

Joss : Awww, Joss! *hugs* for you. I love the attitude you have, facing the situation of you and your hubby being long distance. So mature!

And YEAH YEAH YEAH GET A DOG GET A DOG GET A DOOOOG (I'm a sucker for cute animals) I approve this plan

Oh you still remembers the Nanaimo bars LOL My box of them in the freezer is almost empty, the boyfriend brought some at his job so the 2 people that he train with can taste them... I guess my recipe is good, the girl wants to BUY me some bwhahaha.

I did ran on the threadmill today! It was oh SO BORING but not painful for the hip (the state of my cardio is another story LOL). Although, I did a 15 minutes of hills on the bike by the end and I was feeling the little weirdo feeling (but it was not painful). I might ease up on the bike. But as I was biking, I notice that when I was doing a hill, i could feel that something was more tense/thight on the joint spot, a muscle or something. But again, nothing painful, that is an improve.

My plan for now is to ease up on the hill thing, continue on the threadmill (with no inclination) and work on my legs muscles to make them stronger, to see if it helps

So if we add you your 3 x 2 stars poor, it makes a 6 stars poop day? LOL. I pooped twice yesterday, that was so AWESOME. I felt so light :P

Dorian : Awww *hugs*! I'm sorry it's kinda a mess for you I am totallyyy like you, if something bothers me I don't say a thing until I just go NUTS. It feels so stupid, like the issue at the start is small, but when it explodes, it is still an explosion about a silly issue that could have been solved so easily. The boyfriend is used to it now though, he will ask maybe 5 times ''you are okay? you are sure you are okay? you are sure there is nothinnnng wrong? because it does not look like everything is alright etc etc etc'' (which most of the time end up in something ''I'M OKAY SO STOP FREAKIN ASKINNNNNG'', but I'm still grateful for him for trying so hard)

I hope everything will feel better between you and your Beau

For the 1$ hotdogs, that was a nice marketing move from the team! we heard there is stuff like that all over the league, they are giving free stuff everywhere... except in Montreal. Because the people are crazy enough to come back, wether they are giving stuff or not lol.

Jessica : The school situation seems stressful! Let me just say that I admire the effort and dedication you put in putting you kid in a french immersion program like that. I don't want to go deep in politic, but I always was a bit disapointed about the way the rest of Canada saw french (and no hard feeling toward the rest of canada, I don't want Qc separation). Like, i was bombed when I heard my friend from Winnipeg saying that he did just the basic french class that he had and than went for Spanish when he was 13-14 years old, whereas in Qc, we have to get english class until we are done high school, and then we have to take some if we go to pre-university college.

I did not know it was such a hard time to put them in a french program school though. In my opinion, it was be encouraged, not more trouble for the parents!

kakers : Aww, feel better soon! God, every one on here is getting a cold! Freaking winter!

**

Okay, that is gonna be short, the cat being the worst attention whore EVEEEEER. Jeez.

Stepped on the scale this morning, don,t know why, I really wanted to wait until friday. I ended up being just disapointed because I am now just a TINY bit under from where I was friday. At least I un-did the damages from the weekend.

I got to a gym today and got a 20 sessions card. It feeeelt sooo great to workout! I did threadmill, so weight and abs stuff, and then bike... I sweat like a piiiiig

I can't wait for this cold-wave (we got heatwave, can you get coldwave?) thing to be over. I was so pissed at the downstair neighbor who let his cat out this afternoon when I was going out. The poor thing, it was freaking -32 C!!! Just hope his little paws are okay