I don't know how to explain how I feel. Some days I just get pissed off at how much effort this all takes...exercising six days a week, counting calories, watching fat, thinking about every bit of food I put in my mouth, beating myself up for screwing up.

I just wish I had a "normal" body and a "normal" relationship with food. I'm not asking to be a size four or six without any effort. I will never be those sizes. I'd be happy to be a size twelve, and weigh around 160 (I am five foot eight). I am so sick of this struggle. I am sick of seeing people around me eat junk food all the time and not gain weight, and not have their life consumed by trying to lose weight. I'm sick of going grocery shopping and seeing thin people with all this crap food in their cart, while I'm buying all healthy low fat food, and I am still fat.
I'm sick of not having enough energy to do what I want to do. I think if I put as much effort into other things, like maybe getting master's degree and getting out of my dead end customer service job, I'd be happier. I can't get myself to concentrate on anything else now, and I am so thoroughly sick and tired.


Okay, enough whining...I ate myself up to this weight. I know that. But why does the journey back down have to be such a struggle?

Sorry for the long rant. Just wondering if anyone else has felt the same way, or has any advice.

I'd better go get some sleep. I've had enough of a pity party for myself tonight

Take care,
Sherry

I know what your saying. I feel the same way. It's just not fair that it takes this much effort to shed a few (ok maybe more then a few) lbs.

Bella23

i hear ya. all this losing makes me lose my good attitude sometimes!

but i keep plugging away because i know that it is worth it and it's jsut something i have to do.

I TOTALLY know what you mean. Especially when I'm with my "size 0" best friend!!! Grrrrrrrrowl. I guess when I get to that point, the only thing I really use to inspire me is the whole "health reasons" aspect of it. Just remember how much YOU matter. Peace. -Apryl

Sherry, I think we've all been there. I know that, for me, my attitude toward weight loss hits bottom when I'm experiencing other stressors in my life. That's where you are right now re: your son and your housework.

WARNING: ahead...
You need some personal time, and working out doesn't count. You need an hour a week to rediscover who YOU are...not someone's wife or Matthew's mommy, but YOU. You have GOT to take care of yourself FIRST. If that means that the toilet has a ring around it or the floor goes unmopped, so be it. You are no good to ANYONE without taking care of YOU first.

okay...stepping off

Now, as far as Matthew, there are so many things you can do to spend quality time with him that don't require a whole lot of energy. Read him a story. Have him read you one. Play Candyland. Play Legos. Have him help you cook dinner (he can pour water into cold pots and fetch veggies from the fridge). Draw pictures together. If he really wants to go to the park, take him. Sit on a bench and have him show you all the cool things he can do. (I remember most of my time with my kids at the park being, "Mommy! Watch me!")

Reading back on my post, I'm afraid I might come off as callous. It's not intended that way. It's intended to get you out of your doldrums. Sometimes all we need is a kick in the pants.

Sherry,

I feel this way every day. Then I glance in the mirror & get a good look @ that double chin. Or I wear a tank top to clean house & get a good look at my arms. That keeps me going.

I think Jennelle's idea for some "Me Time" is great. Take an hour or even half hour where you're not thinking about this journey. *hugs*

ph yes. this is all sooo familiar!!! all i ever wanted was a set of rules i could follow and have the weight come off and stay off. and i tried EVERYTHING. and did everything i was supposed to, and nothing worked.. and everyone would say things like 'just try a little harder.' yeah right.

that's one of the things that drove me to the surgery. it's not the right choice for everyone, but it's worked for me. i can follow these rules, and it's working. and i can live again.

What I get upset about is how freaking awesome I am and why can't that be a physical attribute too. It's not fair. I hate having to wait for my body to catch up with my insides.

I think the successful approach to weight loss is making changes that become part of your life so you no longer struggle because you are living a different way, the changes become what is normal after awhile.

This is just my 2 cents but I have only been successful on weight loss when I am doing things that I can live with happily. I just didn't make changes all at once. So I found foods that are good for me AND that I like. I found exercies I liked to do that were not a chore. I still eat 'bad food' but not as much and not as frquently. I eat slower, drink water, which are no sacrifices just good habits. I do not count every calorie but I know for many people this is important. So I am not on a diet, I was never on a diet. I made lifestyle changes I could be happy with and do because just like exericse the only life style changes that work are the ones you actually do. So I never did anything drastic just small cumulative steps that added up to success. I did not lose weight particularly fast doing it this way, but I did lose weight which I guess is the bottomline. My suggestion would be to focus on the the changes you can live happily with, make a few of those to start then keep making more and more. You will find there are enough smart , fun, doable, and succesful ways to lose weight that you should not have to go to the extremes were you are getting angry at the changes because that is not going to work in the long run.

YESSSSS!!!!!!

Just remember that you don't have to be 60lbs. or 100lbs.... or 5 lbs. lightet to be beautiful. We're ALL beautiful right NOW. Really.... I think so. Especially from the Avatars that I see