Hi Coaches
Well the only child of DH's father who thought she might go see him before he dies has decided to pass on that opportunity. She said this morning "I'm not going to put msyelf through that". DH was not-so-secretly pleased that the three biological children of that man have all decided to pass on the death side visit. What does that tell you?
I am forced to accept everyone's position on this event. There are reasons for their actions here. They were all made super-unwelcome by the second wife. The father entered a heavy religious cult. Thye were to conform or else and they did not. So they were out. I didn't realize but the father had two other kids, both brought into the second marriage. He adopted one, not the other, whose father is still living and in touch with his son--at least 20+ years ago when this was all current events. DH summarized this whole chapter by "OK so you get the news that you're dying and so you make the bucket list of who to say what to and we weren't on it. So f u 2." Can't argue with that.
I am *sad* though that this is how that will end. A united front by turning away is not what I would wish for them. But it's not my deal. Here I am, at times CONSUMED by my desire to help others, not just family, but to dig deep and help, and I never want people to ... what? be mean. I feel like this is ultimately *cruel* - understandable, yes, but cruel. They get the last say, as all of those who continue to live do, but what? Is this right? Cruelty met with cruelty is not my answer to things. I am too other focused and was trained to be that way so even my own reasoning is suspicious. I could use a bit more self-preservation instinct. Anyway. I do hope someone goes to the funeral. I would like to go, curiosity is a big factor here. But I leave these decisions up to DH.
Ate some choclate coins I got for my birthday from MIL this morning. Not too willing to not eat that stuff today, but, thankfully, that's the last thing of that sort in my environment. WW tomorrow. Will have to take the lumps my behaviour will show on the scale. Is ok. I am a) not that number on the scale and b) it all changes therefore no number is permanent.
Finally making progress on these two canvases that have stumped me. #1 is almost done--#2 is very similar so it bodes well to be finished by tonight which is my goal.
UPDATE: got the call that DH's father died. DH continues to say he's not going to the funeral. Siblings may yet go. I did encourage DH to take the time away from work that is offered to him re: bereavement. He wasn't going to but I think it seems weirder to not take it, given people know your father is dying, than to take it. Plus I am suspicious of his reaction and I would rather he take the time off and if he is truly ok, he could use the time to relax. He's been pretty stressed out. So he sent the email and he won't be in until Monday. He may yet be called upon for family support of siblings so I think it's the right thing to do. Weird that the death of a parent is so emotionless and more calculated than organic gut reaction. I think I may be more sensitive due to the fragility of my mother's situation and my constant awareness of it.
I did manage to complete the paintings I set out to today to about 98% complete. The skin tones need tweaking and the big rock in one of the paintings needs to look more rock-like--the other rock needs a bit more definition. I'll finish them up in the morning and let my client know. He'll be happy to hear they DID get done before xmas. One more commission to go: a rendering of Jimi Hendrix for a teen. Fun! (and I could use some fun about now...)
Thanks for listening.