Oh, Shannon. I feel for you! The one year we went through 3 different payroll companies was a mess! It really screwed up our worker's comp reports as well--but that was mainly due to the 2nd company that we were "forced" into. The 3rd has been a Godsend. And now I get calls regularly from Paychex wanting us to switch to them. Ok, sure, they're less expensive and they claim they can do everything plus more than our current company, but if it ain't broke, why fix it?

Allison, Paychex was one of the companies I interviewed after this one turned out to be so terrible (Paycom, incidentally) but we have a lot of fear of the new companies so we ended up going back to ADP. The devil you know I guess.

Oh, yes, it was ADP that really messed us up.

I really have an awesome DH.

Since I posted 2 days ago, I have done some reading on “SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome” which is all over the internet on very unreliable sources but virtually absent from legitimate medical journals. Near as I can tell, it is rumored to consist of many things but includes all of the feelings I had during the acute phase of my withdrawal, and also covers my current irritability/labile mood. As Dagmar mentioned in her post, it can last up to 2 months (though mostly with Paxil and Celexa, not Lexapro), so at 1 month out, I am still well within that time period. Jen- many of the articles say things like “don’t mistake the withdrawal effects for a return of your depression; it’s not.” Not sure whether to believe them, but this does feel different from my memory of my last bout of depression over 15 years ago, which was marked by feelings of hopelessness, emptiness and nonstop grief.


For those of you advocating for a psychotherapist, I’ve seen a few over the years and have not found any of them useful in the long run. For me, they are a “band aid” solution to whatever is troubling me at the time, but the benefits never outlast the series of sessions by more than a few weeks, and then I lapse back into bad habits/bad thoughts or relationship woes. And to be perfectly honest, I believe that my issues are virtually all related to brain chemistry. That is, the same exact circumstance I can cope with perfectly reasonably one week will make me lose patience or hope when I am in a bad mood. I know, this undoubtedly reflects my bias as a neuroscientist and MD, but since I had my first episode of major depression at age 19, I’ve strongly felt that my mood is driven far less by external events than by internal brain chemistry. I’m jealous of those of you (like Saef) who have found real lasting benefit from psychotherapy. And for the many of you who asked, no I’m not on OC’s and never have been. Only thyroid hormone. I will need to get my TSH checked.

So as not to brood entirely on my own woes, some comments on other recent posts:
Saef, I too have the issue of mixing work and homelife constantly, and agree that it isn’t healthy. I find myself sneaking out of work to go exercise at the gym at 10 am, because I know I won’t get a chance otherwise (Megan, your gym/work comments really hit home too) and don't want to miss spending time with my boys in the evening. And then, right after dinner, in the time I had intended to spend talking to and playing with my kids, I end up going to my laptop to do catch up work left over from the day. Idiotically counterproductive. I’d be very interested to know if you find a system for separating the two more definitively.

ICU – when will your remodeling be completed, and what will you have remodeled when you’re all done? I’ve been “remodeling” our outdoors, with some landscaping earlier in the fall and now some outdoor lighting (yay; after 6 years of wishing for it!) and just now an electric “invisible” fence for our new dog (who, BTW, got neutered yesterday, poor baby).

Well, this is turning into a novella, and it’s 11:30 pm, so I’m going to stop even though I don’t feel like I’m really done “talking.” But not before I update my user profile to accurately reflect my overeating-induced scale change (over 2000 cal. today). Just another little benefit of being emotionally out of control for a month

Andrea You are taking back control, by posting here and by addressing what's going on. You've gained back a couple of lbs., not 25 or 30.

I agree with your comments on depression possibly being a "brain" problem instead of an emotional one. It's hard to get doctors to agree to that though. Most that I have talked to see it as primarily emotional and want to see a combination of drugs and "talk" therapy.

I benefited most from group therapy - seeing that I was not alone in having the issues I had. And I like talking to therapists - it's "face" time with someone who can be objective about my problems. But @$125 per session I don't get to do that often.

I hope you find a solution for yourself.

Dagmar

Interesting talk about therapy. My oncologist refers all his patients to a therapist and I did go. Strangely, according to my oncologist some patients refuse to go, I have always wondered why. Dr. K didn't know why, either.

Morning all,

It amazes me how a good workout can improve my mood so much. Speaking of brain chemistry, my brain definitely releases some good endorphins when I work out. After "failing" Tuesday I was determined to get to the gym before yoga yesterday. 40 minutes of stairmaster at the gym, followed by a yoga class where I requested core work (and boy did I feel it!), combined with the dog going to daycare, and everyone was in such a better mood last night. 2 of my 3 Thanksgiving #s are gone according to the scale. I think I could benefit from giving myself a little slack and believing in myself that I will "even out" the workouts when I can't get to them one day, as opposed to being as upset with myself as I was Tuesday night/yesterday morning. That's something I should keep in mind when frustrated - but hard to tell myself when I'm already upset. Does that make sense?

Tonight will mark the return of guitar night. My friends have had a few guitar nights while I was busy with my play, but not many and no one's been practicing enough. It should be fun. But I'm going to the gym and taking the dog out first.

Andrea, it sounds like a little more research has given you some guidance to wait a little longer and see if these feelings change or go away. Hang in there, I'm sure the first month of withdrawal has seemed long enough. It will be easier to control your eating once your brain evens out some more.

Shannon, sorry about all the payroll woes. That sounds very frustrating.

Megan-- makes total sense to me!
My emotional well-being is always tied to the scale which I despise. When the scale is up I am full of self-loathing and I beat myself up-- when the scale is down, I am happier and more positive about everything.

My scale is back down to my ticker weight, which means I'm happy for the time being.

I mentioned yesterday that I overslept which I never do. When I got home from work I checked my alarms (on my iphone) and they weren't working! The phone wouldn't make any sounds-- from ringing to alarms, etc. So, it wasn't me not hearing it!

I managed to get it working again after rebooting the phone but now I'm hesitant to trust it. When I googled the issue, many people said they'd had it happen repeatedly and some had to have the phone replaced. So now I need to set up a backup alarm as well.

My alarm went off with the alarm today (I usually have it set to the radio). Scared the bejeebers out of the dogs and cats (and me!).

DD posted on Facebook just now:

"‎50 lbs lost as of today?

Best. Birthday present. Ever."

Allison, congratulations to your daughter ! That is a significant achievement. I applaud her for doing this while she is young. It only gets harder as we get older. Wish her Happy Birthday nad Congratulations from me !

Congrats to your DD, Allison!!!

Congrats to your DD Allison! That is wonderful! Good for her.

Michele, my BF is so paranoid about not waking up for his summer fishing charters that he always sets his phone and the alarm clock. Even with those he is usually awake before they go off, and doesn't sleep much at all for fear of oversleeping. Of course the rest of the time he has no trouble sleeping. This AM he had accidentally set the alarm to go off at 5 AM. He went right back to sleep. Me? Not so much.

I just read a great post on Barbara Belenky's "Refuse to Regain" blog about strategies to avoid weight gain during the holidays. It has good ideas, and is yet another little reminder to stick with the plan throughout the holidays!

Thanks for posting Megan! Great tips and I think I need to be following her blog!