Now I am obese(barely) and not that great looking. I feel horrible. I look ten times better than I did but still feel horrible. I was just remembering in the sixth grade when we had a square dance during school. I was the last girl standing for being picked, luckily there was one guy left to dance with me. I hated school, kids always laughing at me.
I also remember the pretty ones, the top guy in school was Matt. Tall, black hair that shone, and beautiful blue eyes. He probably doesn't even remember me. I had a crush on so many guys while in school, I only got laughed at if they found out. It was humilating.
I wasn't big back then, I just never fit in.
I just found some clothes in my closet that are a size smaller. I tried on a pair of 14 pants just for giggles and they FIT! Then I tried on a large shirt and guess what it FIT too! I should be happy but and more miserable than when I woke up.
Yes I am losing weight and several inches but I will never be one of the pretty people. I will never be popular and have gorgeous guys look at me. The only place on me that guys look at is my breasts! Then they look up and look away!
I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself! I started loosing weight for my health now I want to be pretty too! It is NOT going to happen though. I look like what I look like. God made this way for a reason, don't know what it is but I guess He had some purpose in mind!
Thanks for reading, I'll go for my hour long walk now. It usually perks me up, plus it's good for me.
Sorry for the whine I just needed to put it out there. Does anyone feel like I do? If so how do you handle it?
I know I should be happy about the smaller clothes that I was shocked fit but, well, I am just not. I want to be pretty and turn heads! SIGH!