Double questions, sorry! Also - first post! Hello, people!

Anyway, I've been having a very difficult time finding clothes in my size for.. yeeeears. I've been stuck at my weight for about 5-6 years now (380ish) .. last year I took the initiative and started dieting & exercising a little bit. First I cut out my diet sodas, then my occasional sweets, then the bread, etc. I was doing so-so, I had lost only around 20 pounds seven months into this plan. I got really into portion control and calorie counting this January .. I was even using the little digital scale my mom bought me years ago to weigh out my food in ounces.

I was doing this to avoid WLS - which my mom's been trying to get me to have since I was 15 or so, but the insurance company always kept it at bay. First I was too young, then - thanks to my social anxiety limiting me from even leaving the house despite being on my deathbed at times - I didn't have enough proof showing I've been at the qualifying weight for the past three years when I turned 18. (What the crap, seriously.)

But then.. and I don't want to use her as a scapegoat, but this is what happened.. My mom had a stroke in march this year and I pretty much ate to comfort myself again.

I was down to 355 (yay for scales with lowest weight memory) in.. um. a while ago, haha. Sorry, I really don't know at the moment, a little more than six months ago. I'm back up to 373 though.

I'm trying to get back into the habit of eating healthier like I was, but it's been difficult with my depression. I've been a sad sack of flub since I was 8-ish.. so.. yeah.

Back to the clothing! How on earth do you determine your shape when you're my size? I gain weight in my gut, bottom and thighs, with relatively small, unsightly, droopy ta-ta's .. pardon my vulgarity. You'd think I was a pear, but don't pears usually have the blessing of a smaller stomach? Mine is pretty big and always has been. ..Would this make me an apple? But then apple women usually have very large ta-ta's and nice legs.. Mine look like something out of a horror movie. Argh, it's frustrating.

Measurements are: 5'7'' 373lbs - 52:52:71(over the tum) and 59 under the tum ... Does your shape get deformed when you're my size, though? I feel like a shapeless blob, I swear.

Also, for the sizing question. What weight usually fits a 4xl? I currently am a 6xl-7xl I think, buuut every plus size shop with nice, young-looking (I'm 22) AND affordable clothing only goes up to 3xl-4xl. I usually get discouraged from dieting when I'm browsing for inspirational clothing to buy myself for reaching a goal and I see the measurements and I'm unsure if I'll ever fit into them and then it's a bunch of tears and blah blah sadness stuff.


Bonus questions:
Does that shapewear stuff help at all? I mean, do they work for women with a grade 2 panniculus? And how on earth do you exercise with these?

Okay! Those are my questions. I hope you didn't mind the read, I blab more than I should.

Well no advice on the shape thing i don't even know what I am. But for clothing, I just try on stuff until I find stuff that fits, it is frustrating at times but then the upside of that is when you do find something that fits it is SO rewarding. The more you open up your eyes and listen you find honestly that most thin people have similar problems we are ALL unique and finding stuff that fits our unique snowflake of a self body is always a challenge.

As for Shapewear DEFINITELY helps smooth you out. It will not make you look skinny it just helps take some of the ripply rolly ooozy look like a mushy jabby the hutness look out of your stomach. yes even with a HUGE belly that hangs over...its not miracle working but trust me you do look at least a little better if you wear it and I FEEL a lot better feeling "glued in" by it. Personally preference but I esp like that if I am wearing knits or flowy things I don't like feeling "naked" so I like spanx etc underneath flowy skirts or even flowy pants. I don't wear it every day though... mostly special ocasions.

For workouts I just wear sweats that FIT (if they are lose I feel like I am constantly having to hike them up, bonus points if they have a draw string that I can tie so they won't fall down! {remarkably hard to find it seems for me!} Investing in good bras (they are PRICEY) is so worth it to have LESS of the "my boobs smacked me in the face" incidences. I don't do any super high impact workouts, I reduce the jumping I do in my aerobics class. I do what *I* can do.

And my belly DOES get in the way of some moves, I have just learned to "deal with it" maybe I can't do all the full extensions of the poses in yoga, or ALL the moves in my aerobics class. I do what I can do and I figure thats better than sitting on the couch eating and watching TV . I get how frustrated you are. It gets to me to there are some poses/moves I just can not do yet because there is all this fat in the way. I guess I would suggest starting with things you CAN do and slowly try new things when your confidence is up.

You probably can walk , or similarly move yourself around w/ a wheel chair or whatever? Just building on that its fitness for life. It helps your day to day life be less of a strain too

If you want something other than walking there are lots of beginner DVD's. To get you back into moving.

Here's my theory it takes more effort for us to move but we can do it. Being overweight even at our size is no excuse for not being active. I can me active and fat at the same time, its not just possible its how it is.

When I was 350lbs (and i carry most of my weight in my belly FYI) I still did aerobics 3x a week, it is possible. The fat DOES get in the way sometimes, you have to embrace and accept that you and your body have different limitations. But also that you can test those limits and might be able to do things you never thought you could if you only try.

As for what to wear a GOOD bra that glues you in is a MUST for me I'm very uncomfortable with the "Girls" bouncing around and honestly truely, have had them smack me in the chin so... yeah Propper support is a must if you are doing anything that involves any sort of jumping! Other than that workout pants that fit, comfy underwear again that fit snugly (nothing is more annoying than constantly having to pull them up) the awareness that you will sweat in places you don't usually sweat. Knowing that you will have to change all your clothes and probably shower to be comfy. And gross I know but honestly sometimes I wear deoderant in strange places.

I haven't lost a lot of weight yet though, I am considering compression garments for the future, because I do get annoyed with the flappy fat now, and its only going to get worse as time gets on but coming from a person who is determined not to let the fat stop her from being active.

That's just what works for me... i think everyone has to figure out their own. the active part I've god downn... for me my issue holding me back is my massive <3 of food.

Mods if I can't post this link then feel free to remove it, I shop at womanwithin.com they do their sizing different for them a 4xl is a 34-36, not sure what size you are but hope that helps.

The sizing is going to depend on a lot of things--your tolerance for fit, your inherent body shape, the store you shop at, your astrological sign. . .

. . .well. Maybe not the last one.

My starting stats weren't far off of yours, height/weight wise. I'm 5'7", and I was somewhere north of 360. I ended up usually in a 4X top-wise, and a tight 28 size-wise. Some 28s wouldn't fit. Some were almost too loose (I'm looking at you, Old Navy).

The annoying thing is, at our weight, we sometimes just have to try things on, or buy online knowing that we may have to return the item later. You may want to try ordering some things from Old Navy--they're reasonably cute and generously cut--or just biting the bullet and going in somewhere like Fashion Bug (which, incidentally, isn't all that fashionable, but sometimes they have some decent separates that don't look like they've been vomited on by a Beadazzler). Last time I ordered from Old Navy, they offered free returns on items that didn't fit.

Wow, people responded! I'm not used to that, excuse me.

Anyway, I'm really not all that lumpy of a person. I've always just had like.. a beer gut that progressively sagged lower and lower with the years.

Mobility-wise, I've always been pretty athletic despite what you'd assume.. Until recently I could pull my legs behind my head, but they don't want to do that anymore so I don't force it. I have no access to pools for water-aerobics like I've been told in the past, and the exercise equipment we have has a weight limit of 273.. That poor sliding machine, it didn't stand a chance.. So basically I've been walking our half mile driveway once a day (yay for living in the country), to a couple times a day depending on the temperature. I cannot, and never have been able to tolerate any heat.. really don't know why. I used to do those pilates tapes my mom bought for herself, but honestly they didn't feel like they were helping anything. The beginner moves were all I could do with my stomach, and .. well.. slowly flailing your arms while lying on the ground didn't feel like exercise.

I can't do the standing aerobics/jumpy stuff because I lose my balance easily unless I focus.. I tried weight lifting a few months back, but when my arms hurt so badly for days afterwards to the point where I couldn't even grip anything, I thought that was a bad idea!

Back to the clothing. I've always hated clothing shopping, even as a little girl. I'd always end up shopping in the men's section because there simply weren't many plus-size clothing for girls in the main stores back then. I had heard of people in the 330 range wearing 3xl, but I couldn't believe it because they look soooo small to me. I was wearing a 1xl when I was .. 11? and I think that same shirt today would be labeled a 3xl.. It's strange! I call trickery.

I don't mean to intrude or hijack your thread, but I'd like to put a plug in for walking, especially since you're already doing some. My primary exercise throughout my weight loss was walking and in fact, I'm walking right now! (using a treadmill desk). I'd encourage you to keep that up and try to increase the frequency/distance slowly (be careful of your knees and feet -- cut back/see a doctor if they start acting up). Welcome and good luck on your journey!

Not to highjack either but yes, thumbs up on the walking. That is wonderful and will take you everywhere with weightloss! There is also walking DVD's I have used by Leslie Samsone? I think that's her name. Anyway, the shortest one is a mile but you can do what you can and work your way up.

Walking was great when I was in the 330s, but so was my stationary bike. Both kept me from basically "running into" my pannus when exercising, which is what happened when I did aerobics.

I've had good luck with doing the warm up parts of aerobics programs and just repeating that part 2-3 times for a full workout. Getting into the heavier workout portion means leg lifts and other movements that I really can't do right now because of my size. The best luck I've had is with some Caribbean Workout DVDs and some really old shows from when it was still on the air.

For clothes, I second the recommendation for Woman Within, also Roamans. I also check eBay but make sure you double-check measurements. Sellers often estimate sizes so you can't take their word for it when they say something is 4X.

As far as clothing goes the folks on the fatshionista.com board have tons of info

When I started at 388lbs I was into a 5x shirt, 32-34 pants, now that I am at 287 I am into a 2x shirt, 24-26 pants. I am a pear shape, as you can see in my signature picture I have a big stomach as well. I do what I can with it. I have a portable pedaler that I use. I do not have any more cardtlidge in my right hip nor my lower back but I don't let that stop me. I stay active and still have 80 more lbs to go. You have to make up your mind to do it for yourself, you can't do it for anyone else ONLY yourself!...Good luck in your journey