Hello everyone!
I kind of feel like I just need to say what's on my mind, but I am also looking for some advice.
I am 21. I will be 22 in July. I am married to a generally amazing man and have 2 dogs. I am 215 lbs and 5'6.
I maintained a constant weight of around 205 throughout high school. I lost about 10lbs during my first year of college (currently on my 4th year) and stayed at around a size 14 until the end of 2009. I never thought I was fat before, but I was insecure. In September of 2009, I had a herniated disc in my back which had me in extreme pain for months. It wasn't until February 2010 that the disc finally healed up. In that 5 month timeframe, I gained 30 lbs. I also got engaged in February 2010. I was so embarassed when I had to go buy new clothing. I ended up not going up one size, but 2 to a size 18.
I hate my engagement pictures. Not only did my hair decide to do some weird frizz thing, but I was fat. I couldn't even lie to myself anymore. I decided I was going to lose weight before my wedding in December and got gym membership which I never used. In October, after meeting with my PCP about my Metabolic Syndrome, he suggested trying Phentermine to help me lose some weight before my wedding. That worked wonders. I was never hungry, I felt the desire to work out more. I lost 30 lbs and when I tried on my wedding dress, It was a little big! I was elated. Of course I stopped taking it and gained it all back. I knew it was going to happen so i'm not suprised, but it's still disappointing.
My husband is in the Air Force and is in great shape. He eats whatever he wants whenever he wants and doesn't gain a thing. Right now he is making a "snack" which is a stack of chocolate chip pancakes.
Regardless of how much weight I want to lose, my end goal is that I want to be able to run a marathon with him. I don't care when it happens, but I want to be able to do it someday.
Something else to note about me, I HATE RUNNING. I think running is horrible on the body. I think it's dreadfully boring. I hate everything about it. ...but I still want to run a marathon...
The main thing I have a problem with when it comes to weightloss and/or dieting is boredom eating. I literally sit around at home all day with no job, no friends, no school, NOTHING. I live in DC and it's awfully hot and humid here somedays which makes me dread going outside. I eat constantly when my husband is not home. I get bored and before I even realized what happened, I could have a bowl of icecream downed. If my husband doesn't have any icecream laying around, it could be a bowl of cereal, a few slices of bread, some crackers, whatever is there whether I like it or not. I don't know how to battle this problem. If anyone has any advice, I would really love to hear it. I literally eat without thinking. It's as if my body sabotages itself. I LITERALLY do NOT realize I am getting, making, and/or eating food. How do I stop this blind eating?
I could be going really good on a diet. I would get up and make a healthy breakfast, eat a lunch to die for, and then, after my husband comes home for lunch and goes back to work, something happens. I forget everything. I will be watching tv and then the next thing I know, I will have a plate of chicken nuggets sitting in my lap while I wonder why my dog is all over me. I have tried to conciously think about what I am doing and there are times that I will realize I am eating and instantly realize what is happening and stop, but it's so annoying! How do I cure this boredom eating problem? Any suggestions?
Thanks to anyone reading this. I feel like I really need the support and I really need to tell my story. I think there are many people who can probably relate. So glad I found this forum!