Day 15 is underway. My resolve is a little more shaky than it was yesterday, but I expected that. I know I won't feel all takeovertheworld-ish every day. LOL
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and got some crappy news earlier, so I've been unsteady. So unsteady that I pitched the remains of my daughter's cake. It was sitting there on the counter practically BEGGING me to scarf it. For a little while, right before I tossed the cake, my mind was drifting back to the days of binge/purge. I started to hear that little "voice" telling me it's ok, that I'll just purge after. Sooo the cake went into the garbage and I drank 2 cups of hot tea instead.
I keep reminding myself that I'm worth more than a few bites of food. If I can just get through dinner without over eating I'll be good.
happytobeamom: Thanks so much for your encouragement. Like you, exercise isn't my problem, either...I am very diligent about going to the gym. The issue when I'm there is not pushing myself as much as I'd like to when working out by myself. I think this happens because I go 5 days out of 7;whereas, if I went only 3 days, say, I'd be giving it my all every time. This way, I feel good about working out every day so I cut myself some slack because I go so often. Also, I think you and I are on a very similar emotional journey. I am sorry to hear you saw the 190s on the scale but happy you're back to normal. I, too, was shocked into action when the scale crept up (post-binge) to 127 one day...I hadn't been past 122 for years. It's interesting that you and I decided to adopt the same approach from now on, and that is to just treat food like air: you need it, you have it, and move on, don't think about it twice. Nothing to worry about, nothing to obssess over. So simple, yet so difficult to implement. I think my "come to Jesus" moment over the weekend is what is helping me see things clearly. Without an epiphany, which you also seem to have had, it's not easy to look at our respective situations objectively.
So grateful I found this board to talk about these things...
Feeling anxious feeling anxious feeling anxious - Digestion is doing weird stuff - Don't want to stress about wedding stuff - hate it that it seems to be a big deal I don't have a wedding dress yet (wedding is June 25th) - Makes me sick to think about spending $1000 on a wedding dress and capped myself at around $500 (but of course couldn't find very many options or places to shop). I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things and want a different relationship to wedding stress - I want to enjoy this time in my life instead of counting down the days till the madness is over.
Ate lunch and still want to eat, but know that food won't help my anxiety. So I am sitting with it. Work is slow so little to distract myself with yet I must still sit at my desk. Venting, trying to get the feelings out so that they aren't stuck inside.
3 full days binge free. Finally discovered the most likely trigger - anxiety. When ever I feel worried I just want to grab something. I've spent the last year trying to figure out what foods did it, but it just dawned on me the other day when I binged. Now that I have a really good idea about what does it, I should be able to control it. I'm going to see if taking a walk about the block when I get overwhelmed does the trick.
Good luck and congrats on your feat thus far everyone!
i binged yesterday. i am so strict on my diet, i usually only binge once a month and follow my diet 95 percent the rest of the time. the only times i'm not strict is if i can't control what i eat, like if i'm out i don't ask for food to be prepared a certain way like no salt, i just order the healthiest thing i can find. but when i binge- i eat A LOT. yesterday i ate until i almost threw up. i don't ever want to eat like that again, but i do want to learn how to enjoy sweets in moderation. i'm so ashamed i only binge when i'm by myself. so here we go- day 1
Skinny...you've come to a great place so welcome. I am much like you -- eat well most of the time, and binge on occasion (lately it has been 2/3 times a month until I feel really sick!) but usually it is about once or twice every few months. Always when I am alone...as you said, I am embarrassed by it. From your stats I see you've already come a long, long way so I wish you continued success and patience on your weight loss journey.
Day 10 finished Possibly not my finest hour - I had a pizza for dinner. But it was an informed choice, after seeing a film with a friend and not even being tempted by popcorn or snacks, and it was well worth it as a treat. It took me over my daily calorie limit of course, but after going to the gym and swimming today, I hope still had a decent overall calorie deficit.
Day 15 is coming to a close!! I outsmarted the binge-monster!!! I was craving a particular meal that usually runs about 1200 calories, yes, ONE MEAL that is 1200 calories. You see why I can't have it... Well anyway, I decided to try to make a healthy version with all the things I love about the high calorie one, and I LOVED it!! It had 750 calories, which is a little on the high side for one meal, but I left room for it at the end of the day. The best part? Since I "indulged" my craving, I no longer feel like binging.
Is it too late to join this challenge? I can really use this right now. If not too late to join then today is day 2 binge free for me. I'm feeling pretty fragile but I've committed to not bingeing just for today. Tomorrow will be a new day.
Hey Roxy - Welcome - I think everyone here just commits to counting each day binge free - It helps to come here and post when you have the urge to binge. Resolve is strengthened each time you add another day to your "binge free" count -
Day 22 - Feeling a lot better today than I was yesterday - Got a pretty good night's sleep - Have energy and am excited today - maybe because I am dress shopping this afternoon.
Just woke up for Day 16. I already fought against eating a handful of ham while making my son's school lunch. I didn't, but boy did I wanna! I drank some hot tea, and lo and behold, the urge stopped. I think I need some fluids.
Sooo the cake went into the garbage and I drank 2 cups of hot tea instead. 
Possibly not my finest hour - I had a pizza for dinner. But it was an informed choice, after seeing a film with a friend and not even being tempted by popcorn or snacks, and it was well worth it as a treat. It took me over my daily calorie limit of course, but after going to the gym and swimming today, I hope still had a decent overall calorie deficit.
The best part? Since I "indulged" my craving, I no longer feel like binging. 
