Completely and totally embarassing...

  • Hey guys

    I ended up having to go to my doctor today unexpectedly for an EKG... I was diagnosed with hypothyroid last month, and was put on medicine, but I have been noticing heart palpitations. So, after some advice from here, called my doctor and was told to get my butt in the office asap.

    Good news.. it's not the medicine

    Bad news... there is something up in the EKG.. and now I have to go to a cardiologist. It's like the electrical pulses that tell my heart to beat are taking too long to get there. ANYWAYS...

    But I thought I was going to die because in order to have an EKG, you have to take off your shirt. I had one done recently in december, but a female assistant did it. Guess she was off today... because today... the male assistant did it. And it was absolutely humiliating. (Especially since I found him very attractive. Except I'm pretty sure he had absolutely no interest in me.)

    How awful it is that I can't have a simple test done without feeling like a second rate citizen. You feel like because you are fat that you don't deserve the same type of treatment as thin people. What is wrong with me that makes me feel that way? And it's not that the physicians assistant treated me bad... because he didn't. And honestly, even if he wasn't someone I was attracted to.. I would have felt the same way.

    And to top it off, my doctor didn't even say anything about the fact that I lost 14 lbs since I was in last in early January! (my totals in my ticker are different because when I entered my start weight, it was my start weight for when I joined 3FC's. I dunno, thought it would be cheating if I entered my real start weight from a week earlier, even thought I knew I had already started loosing)

    Meh.. I love my doctor.. he was probably more concerned with the heart thing than anything else.

    On the bright side.. the only thing that kept me from completely having a melt down was my 4 year old daughter. She was there with me while I was having the EKG done. (I had just picked her up from school and jetted straight to the Dr.) Anyway.. she said "Mommy! I like that bra! You look so pretty!" and "Mommy! Mommy! When I have boobs, can I have that bra?" It was blue- her favorite color.

    And.. I didn't come home and eat an entire plate of cookies. But...I wanted to! I ate one.. after I ate dinner. And still in my calorie range.

    *sigh*

    LR
  • Good luck with your medical tests. Those docs see nude bodies every day , they are only concerned with your well being.
  • Hang in there - I'm horrified when I have to take my shirt off for an EKG - male or female, doesn't matter. Either way, they see half naked folks everyday and it's far more traumatizing for us than it is for them - hope the rest of your tests come out okay!!!
  • Give your daughter a big hug too! Gotta luv the babes.

    Don't be embarrassed, I have a son who works in the medical profession and I work for a veterinarian. We are not concerned about how how you look, but about how to help you. Case in point, we had an english speaking challenged couple in today, who did not understand "is your dog neutered?" So I reached down and copped a feel. Yup, still has testicles.

    When my twin boys were born, I was so big, (a long time ago, they weighed a bit over 6 lbs each) that I could not get myself off the x ray table without help. And a few years ago, I got bucked off my horse and ended up taking my first ever ambulance ride. I live in a small community, I know all the EMT's, after they got me loaded and IV'd and on the way, the EMT, asked me if anything else hurt. So, I know this guy, I used to work with him at another place. So, I jerked up my shirt and said, "yeah, all this road rash". HE turned red as a beet, while I'm thinking "dude you asked"!

    Then, in January, my DH had heart surgery, they went thru his groin, he looked like a sexual assault victim attacked by a serial killer. He recovered just fine. Feels better than he has in months. He was having issues with A-fib. So far so good!

    So, don't worry about it. Take care of yourself, and keep up with those cute bra's!
  • I stopped being embarrassed while having medical procedures when I had ankle surgery while on my period. I couldn't feel my legs for hours, so attempting to help myself was impossible. Really, they are less concerned with my body than with the task at hand. I think, sometimes, we put these insecurities on ourselves and see the results we expect in others.

    That being said, I hope that your tests come out well.....and your daughter is adorable
  • I hope your tests come out alright! your daught is so cute!
  • Good luck with your tests! And your baby girl is so adorable.
  • yup, medical professionals really don't think much about "how it looks". As a midwife, I deal with blood, amniotic fluid, urine, feces and vomit on a regular basis. People apologize a lot, but it doesn't faze me, just part of the job that I don't love, but I get the part I do love, helping women and enjoying their babies.
    I have a lot of large and lovely ladies in my practice, each has her own beauty. I just can't see fat as ugly, except on myself.
    But I bet you are glad you wore you "pretty bra" nonetheless.
  • I just had an EKG done. I'd also done one several years ago and they gave me a paper top for modesty that was split down the chest. I had a male tech at the time who left the room for me to change into it.

    This time I had a male tech about my age who stayed in the room with me. He went through the instructions and then turned around to see if I was ready. Of course, I still had my shirt on since he hadn't left the room. He repeated the instructions and I said, "Oh yeah... uh, where's the smock?"

    No smock. Well, okay. It felt a little weird to take my shirt off just like that. I was self-conscious even though he was professional about the whole thing, but I think I would be no matter what weight I was. Thank goodness I was wearing a presentable bra that day!
  • I'm sorry. I hate that feeling. Even though in your head you know they don't really care, YOU do, so it's hard to not project that onto the medical professionals.

    Hope everything goes ok at the cardiologist!
  • I second everyone who said don't worry about it. I doubt he even gave it a second thought.

    Since December, everyone has seen my rump. I have been in excruciating pain and everyone kept telling me (3 doctor visits) it was a thrombosed hemorrhoid. Went to the ER 1/30 and it was an infected abscess right there on my butt!

    So, they took me into surgery the next day and every nurse and doctor in the hospital got to see my butt in surgery, to change the packing, etc. Then, I had to have a friend of the family come to change the dressing on my incisions daily and my poor husband had to help hold the incision open. Poor guy got way more than he bargained for in this marriage!!

    At least you got to wear a cute bra to cover up the sensitive bits and didn't have to have all your glory hanging out for the poking and prodding! I can't even thing of anything to help certain parts of my rump look cute. Doh.. it's been a long week.

    Hope you get back good news from your doctors!
  • I know that feeling, that you're a second rate citizen and don't deserve the same treatment - it's ridiculous but it's there! I hope we can both figure out how to make it go away! And your daughter is a sweetie, gotta love kids.
  • I have to admit that at the ripe old age of 34, I just don't care anymore. Poke around below the waist at the naughty bits. Grope the boobs for the annual check. Oh...I have to take something off? Ok. What's the point in leaving the room when you're going to be groping me in a few minutes anyway?
  • Oh you guys made me feel sooo much better.

    You know, I think that if my actual doctor had done to procedure, I probably wouldn't given a flying rat's butt- I've known him for 25 years lol. But, yea, I am really not keen on anyone touching or seeing me at anytime. I've been avoiding the gyno for the same reason! (And it didn't help that I haven't had health insurance until now, but still... I had options. And I choose none lol ) I once had a gyno tell me I had a pretty pink cervix. I was like "REALLY?! Can you finish now?"

    XLMuffinTop- OMG how horrible! I couldn't even imagine! I hope your bum is feeling better now!

    I am glad I was wearing a presentable bra, but I wish I would have shaved my legs that morning! They attach those little electrodes everywhere damit!

    My daughter says the craziest stuff. And she will talk to ANYONE! Thanks everyone! I definitely appreciate it. and I'm sure I'll be back whining about my cardiologist appointment as soon as I get the referral for the dr...

    LR
  • You should feel proud of yourself since you're 14 pounds down! Who cares what anyone else thinks as long as you feel good about yourself! You shouldn't let anyone put you down or make you feel less than 100% fantastic about yourself!