traumatized, never shared this before.......
can i get a show of hands of anyone that has ever seen the movie "stand by me"
in that movie there is a scene about an overweight boy in a pie eating contest. when the boy walked across the stage to get to his plate filled with pie, the crowd sang a chant that went like this...... "boom badda boom baddda boom badda boom" as in the "noise" this boy was making as he walked across the stage.
i was a sophomore in high school, and was one of 3 managers for our varsity basketball team. a "friend" of mine called me over to them before the game started to ask me some mundane question, but it was a trick. when i turned my back, i heard them. a group of maybe 20 start chanting. "boom, badda, boom badda boom badda boom" as i walked all the way back across the gymnasium floor. followed by resounding laughter. everyone was laughing. it felt like the whole entire crowd of 300 plus people. i don't know how many people actually did laugh, but the noise was deafening.
anyways, i got drunk that night at an after party.....i cried and cried on a friends shoulder. my drinking never slowed after that, not until i hit 30, an alcoholic, and drug user. i went to detox and a years worth of rehab.
the boy that started the chant called me the next day, sounded really upset, said he was sorry and he thought i would think it was funny, said he never meant to hurt me. we really were good friends before that happened. said he heard how upset i had been, and wished he could take it back. i accepted his apology. but something changed in me at that moment on that stage. a switch flipped, and i shut off. for almost 15 years i shut off.
i am completely sober now, and i probably would have went down the road i did, regardless of that night. i just wonder why i have never told anyone, not even my shrink about what happened on that stage.
anyways, thanks for listening, i just needed to get that off my chest, way way over due.