Tomorrow I am going to visit a friend who recently had minor surgery and is housebound. I was thinking about baking a batch of brownies to take to her, but then I wondered if that was a really stupid idea. I mean, why should I perpetuate the idea that food=comfort, and why should I intentionally feed her something unhealthy? She loves brownies and I know she would appreciate it, but it just seems wrong. And I don't know what to do instead and I feel like I should take something.

Any thoughts?

Any way to just pick up one at a supermarket and then it's a treat for her, but not a whole lot of them ... and maybe pick up a small blooming houseplant and/or a puzzle book ? If you prefer it to be something that you don't need to purchase, how about bringing a favorite movie you could both enjoy - maybe get it from the library?

When I was helpless after childbirth 2 years ago, a co-worker brought me a home-made chicken pot pie. It was heavenly to A. have a hot meal prepared by someone other than me and B. eat comfort food.

You don't have to bring sweets! And it's so sweet of you to think of her, and worry for her health.

Some people can eat brownies responsibly. I think choosing NOT to do something nice for someone else because you don't want to perpetuate the idea that "food is comfort" is putting your issues onto other people.

Food as comfort is a fundamental of human nature, in my opinion. That's why food is woven into ritual in so many societies throughout history. Even now, at goal, when I am not a comfort eater (ie, eating when I am not hungry to satisfy emotional needs), I still find some foods generally comforting.

That's different from OVEREATING for comfort, which is a problem that a lot of people have too. I don't know whether your friend does. In any case, if she has several people dropping by to wish her well, it'll be nice for her to have something on hand to offer them (preparing to entertain guests when laid up is a challenge - I had knee surgery 2 mo before I hit goal, someone brought me lemon bars, and I was so grateful because it gave me something to offer well-wishers).

Just my 2 cents. I think people who have food issues (and it's hard to become significantly overweight without food issues) tend to transpose those issues onto everyone around them. There is nothing inherently wrong with finding food comforting. There is nothing inherently wrong with eating a brownie. Those things are only problems when done to excess, which some people don't do.

HOWEVER, if you're looking for alternatives, apologies for the rant above, and you might consider: A basket of trashy magazines to read during her recovery, perhaps some lovely hand lotion or self care products that are compatible with her surgery, DVDs, a cozy throw blanket, etc). That's just as comforting, if you're really uncomfortable with the food idea.

How long is she going to be stuck in the house for? Is she bed ridden? I love that someone else had the pot pie suggestion, because I was thinking the same thing! Cook her up a nice big casserole, or pot of soup. Something healthy and filling and will give her meals for a couple of days.

^^^^What Mandalinn said.

If it makes you feel better, make 1/2 recipe and/or distribute the rest of the batch to other friends. I've always appreciated when someone made something for me when I was ill or going through difficult times.

Good point, mandalinn82, about putting my issues off on to other people. I didn't even see it like that!

I think I'm going to incorporate a lot of the ideas that were suggested - a basket of non-food goodies, a bouquet of fresh flowers, and a scrumptious dinner with brownies for dessert. I bet her husband will be thrilled that he doesn't have to cook for one night!

Thanks so much everybody! You rock!