Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthLake
It sounds to me like you have a good relationship with someone who cares a lot about you, and about his future. Put the two together and I see a strong and lasting relationship.
But, before you get too tweaked about not being part of the married or engaged set- ask yourself this- how much is being married going to change your everyday life? A good friend of mine recently got married to a wonderful guy she's been living with for several years. She confessed to me that, even though she's happy to be married, it really hasn't changed anything (other than they have new dishes and towels) Don't fall into the trap of wanting something too badly and building it up to be something bigger than it is.
With that said- are you secure in your relationship? Are you confident that he loves you? Do you feel as if he wants to be with you for the rest of your life? Then, good. If not, be open and honest with him about where you're feeling a little insecure.
And- feeling "left" doesn't just happen to the single folk. At 24 and married for four years (I know, I got married young!) and together for 7, I was the first to get married out of my friends. But, here I am, watching all of my other "less married" friends buy houses, get settled, etc. while that's still a goal DH and I have to put off a few years. In the end, though I struggle with jealousy, I'm exceedingly happy with my husband and our relationship, even if we don't own our own house (yet). Just as you can be exceedingly happy with your boyfriend and your relationship, even if you don't have a ring (yet)
As a side note to Carbs, please be a little more careful in your advocacy for celibacy- informing a woman that her boyfriend has no reason to marry her if she is having sex with him is both insulting by implying that a woman's only value is sex, and degrading to marriage by reducing it to nothing other than a sexual relationship. Also, implying that celibacy is a weapon or tool that we can use to get men to marry us is insulting to those of us who have practiced it based on a deeply rooted belief system.
I don't think i was advocating celibacy. In fact, my point wasn't about sex at all. You all just got caught up on the SEX part... seems like a personal issue. I mean seriously, did I ever say that he won't marry you if you're having sex? **** no. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex since a month after we started dating and he's wanted to marry me all during that. My mom certainly was no virgin when she and my father married, like most other humans. Why in the world would I say a man won't marry you if you're having sex? Perhaps you should have sought to understand where I was coming from first.
My POINT was that they were already
living together, which is what married people do, and they were already having sex as well, another thing married people do... seeing as they are already living the lives of married people, why would he go through the extra trouble of buying a ring, and planning a ceremony, to get something he's always had? You made the same point, getting married won't change much seeing as they already live together. So for no other reason than making a legal declaration, why get married? It's just common sense.
It's like if you want someone to get a job, surely you don't think giving them $1,000 a week is going to make them do it.
I'm not trying to promote anything, I seriously couldn't care less how people live their lives. But if you've got a problem and you post it, I'm going to give my opinion. Don't like it... oh well.