OK Ladies, I NEED to share this with someone. Keeping it a secret IRL (except my Mom and BFF) is SO HARD, and I have issues I need to talk about!
I am 6 weeks and 2 days........Yup.....PREGNANT!
OMG...this is so insanely, unbelievably unexpected. Liam is twelve and a half and Talia will be nine in July!!!! That is a ridiculous age gap!
Some of you know that I have ALWAYS wanted to have one more, to the point of very often having vivid dreams of a very specific little boy, but Rudy was adamantly, officially, DONE.
Needless to say, this has been an insanely emotional week and a half since we found out. At first, it was awful...he freaked. We cried, talked and settled. The situation has now calmed down. We came to the conclusion that if FATE/ God/ Mother Nature, means for us to have this child, then it will happen, and if not...it won't. I can accept that, I had 2 miscarriages when I was very young and I lived through them, I understand much more, scientifically, now, and know that miscarriages usually happen for very good reason. Rudy has always been an incredible Dad, from day one. His fears are all financial (understandably), and age related...although we're only 32 (me) and 34 (him).
Aside from those things...my biggest fear is my weight. I am heavier than ever before. Three days after I found out, I weighed myself. 268 That is HORRIFIC!
In the following week, I STOPPED the nighttime eating (chips, ice cream, always), I broke out the treadmill, and started taking my vitamins, and eating great. A baby is incredible motivation for me. Probably the best I've ever had in my life. But this is SO not ideal. With my two kids, I didn't gain any weight during my pregnancies, so I have no doubt that I can do well. But I was a LOT lighter then (around 200). As a by product of making these changes...not attempting to lose, per se, but just making very positive changes, I have lost 3 pounds this week.
If I don't kick up my fitness, there's NO way, I can make it through a pregnancy...there's no choice. The first thing I noticed, is that my back is SO sore! (It's already a bit better with the walking I've done this week.)
I am excited, but also realistic, and terrified. We are broke, our house is too small to add a baby (although everything is doable, I suppose). But still, despite all these obstacles, I truly believe that this was meant to be.
I need you guys so much right now!
SO, anybody have stories to share? Good websites for obese Mommies? General advice and love?
xoxoxo
Linda