Dear Me, Myself, and/or I,

I'm so proud of you for what you've accomplished in the last nearly-almost-practically seven months. The differences that 30lbs can make are really startling. Yes, it's true, your arse is still the size of a barge. Yes, you can still cram down a hot fudge sundae with all the frantic zeal of a pig at trough. Watching you eat is rather sickening, in fact, at times, as you go back to the cafeteria line for a peanut butter cookie...or three. The point, though, is that you DID lose when everyone said you didn't have the drive. That loss shows in those sz11 jeans, the sharp jut of your chin, the shadow of your ribs in the mirror, and even the hardening curvature of muscles in your legs and arms. Bravo. You get applause.

This brings us to the not-so-proud bit of the lecture, however. Honey, If you don't stop stuffing 2,000+ calories in your face everyday and making up stupid excuses to keep from going to the gym, I swear to the Lord Almighty, girl, we're gonna have words! Put down that gorram spoon/fork! Push the plate aside and keep your hard-earned cash in your wallet.

"But it's not my FAULT!" you whine, pointing at all the circumstances that make losing more weight just so hard. Well, phooey! If you won't accept your faults, why accept your accomplishments? So, those 2lbs just snuck back in, eh? Does that mean the 30lbs before it just melted off on their own? (You wish, I bet!) No. You did it once. And (pardon the conjunction), believe it or not, you can keep on doing it.

I know we've had our issues in the past. I know I've called you mean names and belittled you, sometimes, in the heat of passionate rage. I know that I am probably your worst critic (second only to your mother) and harshest companion. Know, though, that these little cruelties are made only with love in the heart. I just know that you are capable of so much more than you think. When I have finally convinced you of your own potential, then our relationship might be a more passive one.

The bottom line, you lazy little never-do-well nincompoop, is...

YES, BY GOLLY, YOU WILL GO TO THE GYM TONIGHT.
AND STARTING TOMORROW THERE WILL BE NO MORE COOKIES.

Thank you for listening, dear. For once.

With Love Forever and Ever,

Yourself

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EDIT: I encourage you all to play along. What do you have to say for, er, TO yourselves about your weight loss journey so far?

I think mine would go a little something like this...

Dear me,

When was the last time you actually had the self-control to do what you've been saying you'll do? Have you started doing your ab crunches yet? Started walking one minute and jogging one minute in even intervals? Given up the soda?

I know it's hard because you have no self-esteem whatsoever... But you really have to try! If not for yourself, then for that darling little boy who loves you so much even when you yell at him for wanting more food after clearing a loaded plate. Be there for him. Let him see you smile as you run after him in the field just up the road. Let him lean over to give you a hug because your stomach is flat. Let him have his mom until it's time for the good Lord to call you away.

All the yelling and all the hurtful words in the world aren't going to make you want to change your way of life... But maybe this will.

Practice what you preach.

With all the love in the world,

Me.

Dearest Me,

I have to say that even though we're just shy of one month on this journey, I am very proud of you. You've entered this in a better mindset than ever before. You've been hyper motivated, done outrageously well with eating better(except for the ice cream that one night!), and you've exercised. It really does seem to be the change you will keep for a lifetime.

I have to say, though, that the exercise bit could certainly better. Sure, you could blame school for your lack of making it to the gym, but really? You only have class two days a week, and it's not like you're swamped with homework. Classes will be over next Tuesday, so then you really won't have an excuse. Don't you dare use yoga as a way to get out of the gym when it starts up in June, either. You need cardio, dammit, and you are going to get it. Don't fight me on this, or we're going to have a throwdown. You know the you that's writing this letter is a skinnier, hotter, way stronger version of you that hasn't gotten to surface yet, so you know you won't fare well. Don't even try.

On a different sort of encouraging note, please don't get discouraged should you ever find yourself at a plateau. Remember all of the things you have accomplished to that point, and celebrate rather than giving up. Progress is progress, even when it stalls for a moment(or month!)! Don't let a little setback throw you off. Fush forward, and I really do believe you could do amazing, wonderful things.

I love you, and I want nothing but the best for you. So please please please please please... Keep going. For both of our sakes.

Love,
You.

Dear Past Self,
This is your future self! You have reached your goal and are so happy. The difference it has made in your life is outstanding, why didn't we lose weight sooner! I am gorgeous and I actually go out during the summer and have fun! Your going to be so pleased to be where I am now. So get your butt up out of the computer chair and get to work girly or me and this note will be non existent!
Love,
The skinny, hot, outgoing you!

Dear Me,

I am SO FREAKING INCREDIBLY proud of your insane determination and the will it took to shed 180 pounds. most people only even dream that this is even possible and you DID IT! Now keep going! Bust this plateau's BUTT and get the next 48 off! If you work your hardest you could be at goal by New Years 2011... now... go!

love
me

Dear Me,

You know, for three years, you said "I will lose thirty lbs this year". It never happened. But I see what you did there...you decided to lose 60 lbs. in ONE year....well, almost. Smart cookie, you.

That being said, despite all the set-backs, you've done pretty well. Weight-loss wise, you may have gone arise a few times...but you're making up for it in the lifestyle commitment category. No fast food? I'm impressed. 60 minutes on the elliptical? Go you! Encouraging other people to go for it? Ten points and a gold star.

Really, its only going to get harder from here (and if you don't get that homework done, its going to get really hard, really fast)....so just keep in mind how awesome you're doing and keep moving forward

Love and all that mushy stuff
Me