I don't know if I need advice or just to vent. But I feel alone and sad right now. Maybe I need both. I'm 24 years old, and about a year ago I got out of a 5 year long relationship. I thought he was the one I was going to marry. I thought I would be the first one of my friends to be married. But now the exact opposite is happening. The very last single friend I have is getting married in two weeks. I have NO ONE who relates to me. Here I am, 24 years old, and still single. I feel like I'm going to be alone the rest of my life.
And everyone tells me "you'll meet someone, don't worry, you're young" blah blah blah, but that doesn't help. You can tell me that until you're blue in the face....I still feel alone and helpless. HOW am I going to meet someone when I have NO single friends to go out with anymore? None of my friends ever want to go out anymore, so that leaves me sitting here on a Friday night alone. I'm a pretty shy person, and it's pretty hard for me to even make friends, so I feel like my only option is to go out with the friends I have now, which isn't working. And ALL of my co-workers are in their 30s and married with families, so that's not an option either.
It probably doesn't help that I still see my ex, and still sleep with him. He's been telling me lately that he misses me, and I was hoping maybe that was a sign he wanted to get back together. But he's still the same and still ignores me on the weekends. It's like he's using me because no one else is there.....which I guess is pretty much what I'm doing to him.
I don't know what to do. Sometimes I'm okay, and other times I feel like I panic and get worried that this is what my life is going to be like forever. How can I meet someone? I've tried the online dating thing, but that was a disaster. All the guys I met said I was an awesome girl and really liked me, and then we met, and they all disappeared after the first date and I never heard from them again. I know I'm not ugly, but I'm pretty sure it's because I'm not skinny. So the online thing is not for me....it's just making me feel worse about myself. I took my profile down and WILL NOT go back. I feel like the clock is ticking, and if I don't get married soon, I feel like it'll never happen and I'll never get the chance to have kids or start a family.
Ugh. Sorry for being such a debbie downer. I just needed to get that out, I've been bottling it up for a while now. Blah.