or what are the messages we give ourselves. I'm not going to get all new agey on you (I live in Vermont and I get so sick of some of that stuff) but let's face it, we all have internal conversations throughout the day that impact our choices. I have a whole library of conversations and movies about food. Some are old and really unhealthy and some are new and healthy. Thing is the old reels are still in there and sometimes the librarian (me) moves them to the front of the line.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I've been replaying some old films (black and whites, that's how old!). Here's a few:

• I am frustrated and feel helpless to change things. That cookie will make me feel better. This is the work reel these days.
• I've been doing so well I deserve a reward. That single piece of pizza looks like a great reward.
• No one will know I ate just one of those.
• Seems like no matter what I do exercise is causing pain. Other people just give in, take drugs, whine but I keep fighting and it doesn't seem to do any good. I might as well eat that cookie (and this script always leads to baked things or chocolate).

I refer to #4 as the pathetic, secretly whiny and really stupid movie.

Then there are the new remakes:

• Eating that cookie will not make my boss any easier to deal with. It will just make my a** bigger and reinforce my sense of having no control. Staying away from processed carbs makes me feel more grounded and at peace.
• A cute pair of socks makes a great reward. So does an hour away from the chaos, maybe out walking along the river. I deserve good things that are good for me.
• Umm, the scale knows. Duh
• Every extra lb makes my back and joints more unhappy. Some yoga and gentle stretching may actually make me feel better. I'm taking control of this situation and need to give it time. It will get better.
• I really love my new fit body, Muscles are pretty cool and I want more!

Here's my question - what are your movies/scripts and how do you keep those healthy ones playing? I think if I could stop the old ones as soon as they start that would be a step forward. Instead what often happens is one leads to another leads to another.

Now I'm going to go do some yoga

Here are mine- the bad first

**"Ugh, it's been a bad day, kids are frustrating me in school, paperwork is due....oooh I think I saw Doritos in the vending machine....mmmmm, Doritos taste soooo good and will make me forget about all those other things..."
** "I'm home by myself, I know i have ff whipped cream for sb peanut butter cups, but it would taste sooo much better on cookies."
**And most of the time it's just... the need to feel nothing when the food is going in your mouth. Just the vapid emptiness of it, no thinking, just eating...Horrible right?

Ok, here are good thoughts....
**I'm home alone but still accountable to myself and my own health.
**those doritos would not look good on my tush or stomach (and definitely not make me feel better), so i shouldn't put them there
** I'm better than this! I'm worth more and want to live a healthy, thin life
**If you do what you always do, you'll get what you always got....and I want more!

I really don't have dialogues with myself. Maybe I should try out some of the positive ones and see if they help. I find when I make poor choices it's because I feel lazy and don't want to cook or look for something healthier, so I have been working on having good options available and carving out adequate time for meal preparation so I don't have the excuse for reaching for the quick and less healthy options.

I love reading your movies I don't think I do that either, though. I have been telling myself a lot lately that I want to be thin more than I want to eat that whatever. But right now I am in the losing phase and it is when I get to maintenance that I will struggle. I think I will need to write some scripts for that!

This describes me perfectly, although I did look at myself in disgust at the end of the year and tell myself, "another year has gone by and I'm still not at my goal. This new year will be the year that I finally achieve and maintain a healthy weight!" So far, it's been working.

I just think about going out with friends and having fun and looking great in clothes and that usually does the trick!

Linda, I was just thinking about this and I realized that I am so rarely by myself that I must just not have developed this self talk. Since there's always someone to talk to, I don't have to talk to myself!

I am one of those people who cannot eat just one. My problem is binging on cookies, pretzels, crackers, etc. If I eat one, it never stops, until I'm ready to explode. Just knowing that can sometimes stop me before I take the first bite. I really wish I could control it, but I can't. Years ago, when I would do this, I got into a habit of making myself vomit, which usually made me start the whole process over again. Thankfully, I didn't do that for long. But it make me realize, I am carb sensitive and cannot control my intake. I'm also an all or none person. Either I'm perfectly on plan, or once I eat something non-beachy, I've ruined it and might as well pig out.

I try to visualize how awful I will feel if I make bad choices, how quickly it will show up on the scales and in how my clothes fit, and how much better I feel eating OP. I love wearing form fitting clothes now and love getting complements. My husband is very appreciative of my new figure too. I also try to use short term goal to keep me OP, like weighing in once a month at WW (Lifetime member) to keep me on track, or my doctor appt. next week or my annual health screen at work this summer. These little things help keep me on track and hopefully avoid eating junk. I also love to shop for new clothes and know I'll feel depressed about it if I let even a few new pounds back on.

It also helps me if I make substitutions, like if I really want some pretzels, why don't I have some lovely yogurt with baked apples, or almond butter & ricotta. Then I feel satisfied and treated. I just have to have safe OP foods around that I can fix quickly. I don't know if any of this qualifies as self-talk, but they're my methodology for getting me out of those situations.

Maryjane - Thanks for sharing. I'm glad it's not just me and my voices though we do keep the conversation going I can really relate to the third one, that's the voice that helped my weight balloon up as high as it did.

Cat - The funny thing is that it was our conversation in the other thread that got me thinking about the internal conversations You mentioned telling yourself that "This is the way I eat and I don't eat poison". I wondered if there was a variation of that I could use which lead me to think about the conversations I do have with myself, both positive and negative. I am hopeful when I read your words that someday my relationship with food will be that simple and straight forward. Over the years it's taken on all sorts of loading and gotten very complicated.

Kara - We have different ways of describing the same thing. Maybe I just analyze too much

Anne - Thank you so much for sharing that. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who didn't just gain weight as a consequence of life. Thanks for the tips too.

I am a thinker, maybe an over thinker, but it's helpful for me to figure out what I've been doing wrong and to come up with a plan to correct it. This has been helpful

I love Cat's way of thinking, that our bodies don't need poison. The older I get, the more I want to stay healthy. In my job as a nurse, I see people just destroying themselves with their lifestyles, especially with what they eat. We have seen a huge increase in the number of women with gestational diabetes. This not only affects them, but also their infants are exposed to high glucose levels in utero, setting them up for possible problems later in life. I read a lot of diabetes research for committees I'm on at work and the problems associated with it are growing at an alarming rate. I think the idea of seeing refined carbs as poison is a good one. I also think one of the reasons I'm so healthy for my age is related to my healthy lifestyle. I'm one of the few people in my work lounge who eats healthy foods. Many of my co-workers are overweight and complaining of joint problems or back pain. Some of them are on BP meds, etc. So many of their problems relate to what I see them consuming. Yet, they are unwilling to change. I realize how difficult it can be, but it is so rewarding to take care of yourself.

Definitely!