Yet another binge

  • I'd have had a trickier past few days, really wanting to binge. Not necessarily on the normal junk food I'd eat on a binge, I just felt like I needed to eat a lot, but not because I was hungry. Usually I eat all the fatty, sweet and salty things, but this time it was like I just needed to fill myself up with anything, to the point of feeling uncomfortable.

    I had been able to get through the other days and just had a few extra pieces of fruit, but tonight I finally messed up

    I had eaten about 1400 calories today and I was done.
    So the binge...
    I started with eating all the fruit we had, pears, apples, grapes and satsumas. I still felt like I needed to eat more, so trying to stay away from the higher calorie foods I had 3 bowls of porridge, made with water. Then 2 shredded wheats on their own (Yuck!) and 5 Quorn sausages finished with some Ryvitas and pickle/light spready cheese.

    I feel terrible now and my stomach aches
    I know it could of been worse, but I hate feeling so out of control and that feeling that you just need to be shoveling food into your mouth. I don't even like half of the food.

    I'm not sure what made me snap tonight. A guy who I am close to had upset me by something that he did, but it was such a tiny thing. However it made me feel like he was somehow controlling what I did.

    So me feeling out of control=eating in such a way that I feel out of control. Does anyone get that at all, because I sure don't
  • Why do did you feel powerless? Were there any particular emotions you were feeling uncomfortable with? Was there a feeling you wanted to avoid? What did the person do that was so small but effected you so greatly? Or was it that it reminded you of some other pain you had?

    Don't have to answer these. Just some thoughts for you to contemplate on. The reason I ask these is because usually if we ask ourselves these questions during a binge...we can identify the problem and find a better way.

    Still, sometimes it doesnt workout and we give in... but don't give up. <3

    I some how lost 75lbs dealing with binge-eating disorder.
  • I know how you feel, when i get the uncontrollable urge to binge or just want to stuff my face all day, I always choose fruits, natural peanut butter, f.f whipped cream, f.f frozen yogurt or ice cream( sometimes all of these in the same day). Somehow it makes me think that it's not as bad as eating the usual junk foods most people do. But it is just as bad, and I still gain alot of weight doing it and I feel really sick. So, I recently decided that when i have the urge I should either get out of the house or do something I enjoy and take time for myself and remember all the progress I made so far. No food is worth it! It takes your mind off dwelling on food and believe me it makes you feel really good later to know that you beat the craving. I hope this helps you, I really can relate to how you feel. Tomorrow is a new day, Good luck!
  • I feel your pain! But, if you think about it, we ARE in control when you binge. We really are controlling exactly what we put in our mouths. That's the whole satisfaction in binging, I think. I think it's a defiance thing with me. "I can't control my job, my boyfriend, family, etc..., but dammit, I can control what I eat and no one can tell me different!" Ya know? I don't know.
  • I am glad you posted your binge and came to 'us' for support. A friend reminded me yesterday, about a totally unrelated emotional topic, that it is very important to talk about these things, openly and honestly. It is theraputic and helpful on so many levels.

    Look at today as a challenge - Day 1. Don't worry if tomorrow is Day 1 again... eventually there will be a day 2 and 3 and more... You own this!!!!
  • Hey you! I almost had a binge today, I definitely started it and only stopped because I ran out of food/time. I had a hummus and spinach sandwich and an apple (both part of my planned lunch, 380 cals). Then I ate a garlic breadstick from Sbarros (170cals), about 1 serving of chips (150 cals), and about 200 calories worth of white chocolate peppermint candies. So that put me at 1550 cals for the whole day, when my goal is 1600!!! BOO! I ran 6 miles yesterday, though, and after my long runs, I'm always really hungry the next day. Sadly, I want naughty foods like chips!! =( So, my goal is to get to the gym tonight, do my regular run (3.5 miles), and then lift some weights and do a little elliptical to burn off an additional 100 - 200 cals. I also felt really crappy after I ate all that food! I was so hungry, I could have stopped before the peppermint candies but no, I was in my binge mode and they were the only thing.